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Lay Report: Attack of the Big Titty Blonde

mASF post by JT47319

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Lay Report: Attack of the Big Titty Blonde
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mASF post by "JT47319"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, October 10, 2004

So… long story short… I roll out to Project Hollywood with my wing and buddy
Ken to meet up with NaturalJ. We chill a little bit at the mansion while
Mystery & Styles are doing their workshop thing and chat it up with

Supposedly, we’re going to be picked up by a Hummer Limo, but after waiting a
bit, we say fuck it and roll up to the Hollywood club… me, Ken, and NaturalJ.
NaturalJ hits it up with the bouncer and we get in… smooth as a baby’s bottom.

I try to open two sets with, “Hey, who’s movie premiere is this?” (since it was
a red carpet event). Very poor responses, which is typical of situational
openers. We hit the other side of the club and I open this attractive, slightly
older (33) blonde in a tight black dress, tight fitting black jacket, who’s
fucking DD tits were just fucking BURSTING out of her jacket…. Aaaaaah….

Indirectly approach her with my situational opener and it just goes REALLY
well. I befriend her female friend (who has a boyfriend, but isn’t there) and
the dude/actor she’s with (not her boyfriend). OK, so I’m thinking, I have a
sticking point of accelerating physical intimacy. So while I’m leaning against
the wall while doing wide rapport, I put my hand on the small of her back and
pull her in. Like for a kiss. But I just talk really soft to her so we’re
touching noses.

It’s on, baby. I grab her hand and roll her to the dance floor. Grind, I teach
her some hip-hop dance moves, we makeout, grind some more. It’s so on. Except
the making out was probably a bit too much, since it would later come back to
bite me in the ass.

So off the dance floor, I chat it up with the guys when my girl and her
girlfriend run to the restroom. I close my tab when the other guy, with the
other girl, comes up to me and says that my girl says goodbye, but they have to
go back to the hotel (it’s about Last Call). It’s called ASD gentlemen. Buyer’s
remorse. Accelerate too fast and she feels like a slut.

I’m like, WHAT THE FUCK? Ok, wait a minute. Time out. What should I do coach?!
Maybe to an AFC or some other chump, the game is over. FUCK THAT. We know where
they are so I say ciao to my wings (who are hooking up with their chicks,
whatsup Ken & NaturalJ you badass players you!) and roll with this guy (who is
basically an AFC actor, hereby dubbed AFCActorDude).

It’s fucking raining, we’re drenched, and we hop in his car. We call them up
and they say they’re tired and sleeping, but they give us their room number.
Right. They’re tired. And they give us directions to their hotel. And their
room number. Again. An AFC might buy the tired bit, but as a PUA, I tell my
impromptu AFC wing… “Dude, we’re about to tap that ass. Grab your balls and
let’s ROLL!!!”

We drop by 7-11 so AFCActorDude can grab some rubbers. Dumb ass. Call them up,
but they’re not answering. Roll up to the hotel, steal some free apples and a
rose, and up to their room. We call and knock, but they’re not answering at
first. All right, this is a little fucked up I’m thinking. This. Is. BULLSHIT.
So while AFCActorDude is moaning and pissing his pants, I recollect my
thoughts, calm my mind, and knock again.

Presto. Bing. Abracadabra. My girl opens up the door. GAME ON.

All of a sudden all four of us on the bed. I’m making out with my girl,
AFCActorDude is giving “his” girl a massage. Placating fool. My girl is
resisting (in between her moans) so I pull the SHEETS OFF THE BED. Give the
other couple one set of blankets and me and my girl are now totally under
separate blankets. My girl and I can makeout without the other couple
“checking” on us. It’s an illusion, but’s a damn good illusion when you and

So now I’m sucking those big ass, porn star, double DD titties. God I am such a
fool for blondes and big tits. I am going to town and she’s giving me this line
about never doing this until the fifth date. I pause for a second while I
tonguing her huge tatas, when I start playing the “Dating Game.”

I start role playing, future projecting, and time distorting by telling her all
the four dates (tonight being the first date) that I would take her while in
California. Cool shit like the beach, snowboarding at Big Ben, shopping at
Melrose, etc. etc. etc. THEN I have HER tell me what HER dates would be in
Tennessee (she’s only here for one more day). I also ended up being really
cocky & funny by teasing her date choices (Oh my GAWD, you would take me to
DOLLYWORLD! What kind of date is THAT?!). Like we’re already a cute couple.

Fun, but other than sucking her titties, things still aren’t progressing
nicely. AFCActorDude hasn’t even started making out his chick. He’s just giving
his girl a backrub. Dumb ass, I’ve got to do everything myself. So I have BOTH
girls start giving ME a back rub. OMG, if I didn’t depend on AFCActorDude for
giving me a ride, I might have just pulled off a fucking threesome because the
other ditzy blonde was SOOOOOO giving me the eye and some EXTRA kino. Hehehehe.

OK. Here’s a move I learned from my wing and buddy RyanStone. When in doubt.
And when you want to accelerate shit. Fucking take off your clothes likes it’s
the most natural fucking thing in the world. Off comes my shoes. Off goes my
shirt. Off goes my belt. 10 seconds. Tops. Both blondes are stunned.
AFCActorDude is pissing his pants.

I smirk.

I literally CAVEMAN my girl by PICKING her up and taking her into the hallway
in front of the bathroom. Put her on the ground and start making out with her.
She’s moaning “No” when I *ORDER* her to stick out her tongue so I can suck on
it. She started to go fucking crazy. Then I *ORDERED* her to turn around so I
can snack on her neck. She’s starts fucking MOANING to the point of SCREAMING.
I rip off her shirt and go to town on her bare back.

She’s writhing on the flood when the ditzy girl and AFCActorDude are like “What
the fuck is going on over there?!”

I’m like “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE US SOME PRIVACY!” Ditzy Blonde is a little
jealous (she kept on telling me I was SOOOOOOO cute and AFCActorDude never made
it past backrubbing and kissing). I *GRIND* my girl straight into the bathroom
floor where I promptly fuck close that ass.

All the while, she’s saying, “I don’t do this until the FIFTH DATE!”

I’m like, “Honey, we’ve already been on TEN DATES! 5 already in California and
your silly 5 in Tennesse!”

We get politely ejected out of the hotel in the morning (6AM) after the deed is
done since they had to get up to fly that morning, but again, as usual, while
I’m leaving, I tell my big DD titty blonde, “ONCE YOU GO ASIAN! YOU CAN’T GO

The only sad thing is that I wasn’t able to get a picture of her or her big
tits :-(

Again, I’d like to thank Mystery and TylerDurden for being my mentors. Not to
mention all my wings & buddies to whom I wouldn’t have gotten this far.

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2004 by "JT47319" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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