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Cruel To Be Kind

mASF post by stevie_pua

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Cruel To Be Kind
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mASF post by "stevie_pua"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005

On 7/20/05 6:08:00 AM, zarathustra_fi wrote:
>On 7/19/05 4:24:00 PM, stevie_pua wrote:
>this is an awesome post. Guys learn from
>I have a question for you Stevie. As you
>know I am interested in relationships.
>As you surely know many husbands who are
>going through the wife┬┤s betaising
>attempt react - basing on their
>personality and strenght - in different
>- Some of them simply submit.
>- Some of them become violent.
>- Some of them start to argue and have
>fights, they shout.
>- Some become depressed and alcoholic.
>- Some of them start to work all the
>times and stay away from home from
>morning to night.
>- Some get lovers.

Yes, it depends very much on the personality, background, beliefs, sense of
possibility, and values of the person/people involved.

>Also I noticed the many chicks who are
>totally submitted to their men react by
>becoming masculine and frigid. So it is
>not a good business to put her down too
>much. I believe more in being dominant
>but being also flexible enough to let
>her express her femininity.

Agreed. Being dominant to a masculine, frigid girl is not rewarding for either
party. No win-win there.

Of course
>this is highly challenging. I just met a
>good friend of mine and his wife in the
>course of my Church wedding. He is a
>real tough guy and totally submitted his
>wife but.. she become masculine and he
>started to cheat on her.. under her

Such relationships seem to lack a connection, don't you think? There is
something there at the start to get the people together, though. What is it
that gets them married? Something must change somewhere along the line and the
sham is either exposed or what was good turns bad.

>I consider the men, who become violent
>or argue as "little bit" more alpha than
>the ones who submit totally.


I do not
>consider as very Alpha letting her to
>lead own territory ( like the ones who
>stay away from home). It is for sure
>Alpha to get lovers but then WHY the guy
>is still living with her if she bitches

Complacency? I think it differs a lot in every case. Some are comfortable in
their physical environment with jobs, investments in the property etc.

Anyway those are all reactions to
>the fact that she establishes a stronger
>frame over the guy and/or that they have
>to "fight" for the frame over time. I do
>not believe that in a relationship a guy
>can establish a stronger frame ONCE and
>then relax.

Me neither. Part of shit tests is the test for consistency. That is probably
part of what HB Y was doing. She was checking (in a time of uncertaintly when
lots of her Asian friends have gone home recently and she is still in England)
whether I am the guy who is worth investing in longer term. That's why it was
important to pre-empt this bullshit, shut it down, and take the lead again. As
I said earlier, I felt like a bastard doing it, but it is what she
unconsciously WANTED. I met her today, after the making her cry gaming, and she
was TOTALLY into me - carrying my books, tonguing me down in the corridor. So
weird to read but so true in the field.

The truth is that he will
>AGAIN because she will repeat her
>controlling attempts again and again.

Yes, it is what she requires unconsciously.

>What is your guess? If a situation like
>this happening to you would happen while
>you live with her in the same apartment
>(owned by you or you and her, without
>separate aparment of your own) what
>would happen after this stage?

I would make sure it was my apartment so I could legally kick her out. Or I
would make sure it was a small investment for me so I could pay off the
landlord and leave with the loss of only a small fee if the worst came to the
worst. The small fee of walking out and paying a month's rent as a charge is
little to have control of your life and control of who fucks with your
happiness or who fucks you in general.

>I mean you are in your home then. You
>cannot leave the territory for a few
>days because it would be symbolically
>like surrendering your territory to her.

You can throw her out if it is your place legally. I never give a chick legal
redress if at all avoidable. Keep your nose clean and stay in control. I don;t
trust them full stop. Things fall apart, as Chinue Achebe wrote, and we have to
be prepared for that. Expect the best from life but be prepared to deal with
the worst. Have a plan B. If it all fucks up I can, with my job expertise,
vanish into the jungles of god-knows where and meet new people who will take to
me and find value in me, thus leaving the shit in my wake. I don't expect it to
happen, but plan B is there in the back of my mind and that is reassuring.
Cover your bases and don't give away your power. Funnily enough, that kind of
individual strength is often attractive to women and they like you more for it.

>And how long a man can take "emotional
>coldness" in the relationship?

If he has much self-respect then not very long. If he tries to hold on without
demonstrating strength of character then that just makes him seem weaker
through perceived neediness.

In my
>opinion when a chick tries something
>like this she will repeat it later on.

Yes, it is a long battle with occasional guerilla warfare. It stems from human
evolution psychology and is built in to the psyche of most people. Learn to
deal with it and win these tests as they come up or, even better, pre-empt them
before they come up and she loves you for the reassurances she receives from
you even before she feels the doubts.

>" target="_blank">
>Online Seduction School for Single Men,
>Husbands & Players
>"Sarge Est Necesse, Vivere Necesse Non
>Est " Gnaeus Pompeius, revised
>>I just got back from making HB
>>Y cry. I feel like a bastard
>>for having to do it, but I
>>know deep down it was what was
>>necessary and what was needed.
>>She showed me non-verbally it
>>was what she wanted. Let me
>>The past few days I sensed she
>>was not 100% paying me the
>>attention I require. She was
>>not really listening when I
>>spoke to her. In the past I
>>would have got all weak and
>>asked her "what's wrong". But
>>that hardly ever works and by
>>naming it as something wrong
>>it creates that reality in her
>>mind. Just like Major Mark
>>says - "naming something makes
>>it real. describing it brings
>>it to life". Well fuck naming
>>the problem and having her
>>describe it to me and thereby
>>bring it to life. No way.
>>There is a better way and this
>>is what I had to go for.
>>I left her place and cut off
>>contact with her for two days.
>>I ignored her calls, ignored
>>her text messages, and ignored
>>her emails. She got
>>increasingly worried and later
>>told me she wondered if I'd
>>been in an accident. Then
>>after a lot of ignoring her I
>>finally answered her call this
>>evening and turned the tables.
>>I told her it seemed that she
>>wanted to have some space and
>>I wanted to give that to her
>>because I wanted her to be
>>She denied wanting space and I
>>said perhaps I'd imagined it
>>but she seemed not happy with
>>me recently and I didn't want
>>to be the cause of that
>>unhappiness and if I am the
>>cause of it then it is better
>>if we are not together,
>>because all I want is for her
>>to be happy. She started
>>crying and asking what I was
>>talking about. The plan was
>>working and later, after we
>>met, she almost thanked me for
>>forcing this issue.
>>She was all tears on the phone
>>because I had pulled a mind
>>fuck. I showed a willingness
>>to walk away, thus increasing
>>my value. I knew it would work
>>because she had been calling
>>me so much and wanting to find
>>out if I was ok. And by making
>>it all apparently about making
>>HER happy, she didn't know how
>>to mentally-process the mind
>>fuck. I said maybe I was
>>imagining it all and she asked
>>if we could meet. I met her
>>near the train station 45
>>minutes later.
>>She was sitting there with
>>tears in her eyes. I made sure
>>not to talk too much. I wanted
>>to gather information on her
>>state and wanted her to be
>>unsure of what I was feeling.
>>I made sure not to show if I
>>was happy or unhappy to see
>>her. I was very emotionless
>>outwardly. I said hi, sat next
>>to her and resisted the urge
>>to hold her or comfort her. I
>>took her hand and led her away
>>to a quieter location where
>>she could cry without people
>>seeing her because I knew she
>>would cry more when I put her
>>through a rollercoaster of
>>emotions of loss and regaining
>>I played with her head a bit
>>more and told her it was all
>>her fault for not sharing her
>>fears and worries with me and
>>I can't help her if she
>>doesn't share them. Everyone
>>has worries and therefore she
>>went inside and found the
>>feelings to attach to that
>>word. She agreed she had not
>>shared all her worries and I
>>told her I can only help her
>>and we can only be together in
>>a proper relationship if she
>>opens up more and shared her
>>feelings with me, otherwise
>>she will be unhappy and I
>>don't want to have that kind
>>of person in my life. She held
>>me and promised to be more
>>open and her sobs turned to
>>tears of joy as we shared a
>>special moment and a new
>>beginning to the relationship.
>>I engineered the whole thing,
>>but it was good for her and
>>she feels closer to me now.
>>She also has learned I will
>>walk away from her and that
>>increased my value. It
>>increases my influence over
>>her as well. I had to be cruel
>>to be kind and it felt good.
>>* * * * *
>>Underdogs come from behind
>>Assassins do it from behind
>>Bakers do it for the dough
>>* * * * *
>>Stevie PUA
* * * * *

Underdogs come from behind
Assassins do it from behind
Bakers do it for the dough

* * * * *

Stevie PUA

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "stevie_pua" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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