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Fuck Up Report: The curse continues.

mASF post by Alessandro

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Fuck Up Report: The curse continues.
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mASF post by "Alessandro"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, June 6, 2005

The curse continues, and there still glimpses of seems like solid game,
yet no DECENT fuck close.

I dress in a tight punk t-shirt, put on my tight jeans, my arm-bands and
a cowboy hat. The hat gets me opened left and right, but by UGs and guys
.. GUYS, stop fucking talking to peacocked guys, remember, gear is not
meant to attract YOU, bitchass.

I change several bars; went to the reagea joint where and old black lady
desperately tried to pick me up and I left the place annoyed. Later in
the night four chicks open me at a club, they're all British, good shit.
They like my hat and one of them stays with me. I talk to her for a
while, she says she is with a theater company on tour in the U.S, and
all the chicks here are dancers, and she is a make-up artists, and the
guys are actors, dancers and lighting engineers, etc.

I dance this chick, teach her a couple of salsa moves, teach her the
difference between several "booty" dances, specially Latin music and
African music. She is into it. She is kinda stupid and doesn't really
realize that I have an accent, she sees my cowboy hat and thinks I am an
actual cowboy. I ask her where do you think I am from? she says Miami.
WTF? Miami cowboys? like there are light skin black cowboys with funny
foreign accents in Miami? duuuuude.

She says she wants to buy me a drink, I offer to buy the first round and
her the second. After we wait for a while to get the bartender's
attention, I ask her if she can show him her tits. She is totally
SHOCKED! "nnoooooo, I am an English woman". I ask her what cup she is,
and she thrusts her chest on my face, "what size do you think I am? huh?
be nice" *DDB*. I change subject and tell her "isn't it funny we measure
breasts by cup size? who on earth does that? we should say a handful or
a mouthful", then she goes in an LSE knee jerk and says her breasts are
DIFINETLY are a handful. Again, I change subject and tell her to be
careful as I am a known heart breaker. We do a little role playing where
I am Casanova and she is trying to seduce me ... to my surprise she can
actually ACT. I was like, duuuude. Then I tell her she is the one who
needs to be in stage, she is the cindrella story that womankind is
AFRAID might come to light. She laughs, she is all over me but nothing
is really happening yet. I haven't figured how to spark her, I can touch
her all over, spank her, kiss her neck. When I turn away and make fun of
her small breasts, she comes to me and shoves them on my face, etc. So I
leave and try to get drinks for us, this time elbowing through crowds.

While I was at the bar, every dude was trying to touch my hat. FUCK. You
weak motherfuckers stay AWAY from me. I throw the hat back to her so she
can keep it, and also as a way to keep her waiting for me. While I was
gone, some well know player is gaming my girl, and he is showing her the
bar architecture and it's history. Hmmmm. I just go in there and do my
usual AMOGing shit, first compliment the guy, then when he is disarmed
say it's been good talking to him and leave with the girl.

Me: I know this guy, he is a poet
Him: YEAH, did you see me read poetry?
Me: yeah man, you've done several open mic things
Me: you're awesome

She is not impressed. She is leaning against a wall, so I wait for a
song change then grab her hand, the one nearest to him, and soon as the
new song begins I grab THAT hand and twirl her towards me. We take to
more steps in dancing and we are FAR FAR from the guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I take her back to the bar so I can get a drink for real this time. You
can't leave a bitch around here without her getting hit on. She is
wearing my hat, she is between my arms and I am whispering sweet
nothings to her. I ask her if I was the bartender and you were here to
seduce me, how would you get me? she says she would strip dance for me,
the I let her dance between my arms, her facing me and her back to the
bar counter. GOOD SHIT. She cups her tits, wraps a leg around me .. the
usual white chick dances, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Her friends are joining us by the dozens, cute small little brunettes
and blondes. I hug all. There was one clubber chick (you can tell from
her fashion that she is a rave junkie, except she is older now and is in
her late 20s) this one is without a man and somehow falls under my care.
She too volunteers dirty dancing for me in that tight over-crowded
section of the bar. I have no trouble negging both and making them do more.

The bartender takes too fucking long and the lights come up. Soon after,
the bouncers turn to obnoxious jerks and start calling us names:





etc, etc.

Really weird behavior. She says she wants to run to the loo and comes
out CHANGED. She refused to look me in the eyes and runs to her
girlfriends. A familiar site by now. It was really awkward, the chick I
was messing with is just acting like I am a weirdo or something .. heyy,
I am not the one who was squeezing his tits for you (it's true, I have
man boobs, hairy perky ones.)

I go back to her and hit her with more C&F material, actually make her
laugh out loud. But every time is about done laughing, she gathers some
strength and tells me "good night". WOW, aaaighte homey, no shite, good
night them, I am outta here, peace, ciao, salaamu alaikum. FUCK!

I forgot to say that somewhere in there I suggested to go to an all
night lounge, I couldn't suggest getting her back to my place because
she is with twenty people and she is apparently the youngest and
everyone is treating her like a darling.

"I push my seed in my push for life
It's gonna work becuz I'm pushin it right
If Mary drop my baby girl, tonight
I would name her Rock-N-Roll"

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "Alessandro" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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