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Lay Report: What if that girl was sitting right next to u?

mASF post by Narcissisto

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Lay Report: What if that girl was sitting right next to u?
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mASF post by "Narcissisto"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, August 8, 2005

LR: What if that girl was sitting right next to you?

Friday, August 5, 2005


Space Monkey picked my roommate and I up to go to Adam's Morgan. We helped him
park his car and he scratched someone's bumper with his car. They wanted to go
to The Reef, but I said I'd meet them later after I took a trip to Dan's Cafe.

I rolled in and it is packed as always. I say what's up to Tracey, one of the
bartenders and he said my girl is waiting for me and pointed. I asked who he
was talking about and I looked. There were two hotties looking at me but I had
no idea who they were. He laughed and told me to get some gin in me before I
go over there. He walked over to them and I overheard one of them say, "Do you
know him?" Whatever. I didn't approach for it seemed when I looked back, they
were gone. I saw a stool opening at the bar and Tracey helped me reserve it.
I set up camp.

I was not seeing a whole lot of open women in the bar... always with guys or
not hot enough. Soon, what appeared to be an HB opened me about a cigarette
(she was pretty in the face and I had some gin in my stomach). I told her to
tell me a good story. There was a guy with her that was a total nutball and I
slapped hi-5's with him. I told him he looked like this crazy guy I knew from
back home named "Chewy" (as in Chewbacca). I had forgotten her name within 1
minute so I asked to see her ID when she had her wallet out. I tried to repeat
the name in my head. The girl and him walked away after I had a very brief
convo with her and him. Nothing extraordinary.

The girl came back to me within a few minutes and invited me to come drink with
her friends at a table. I said I would and while I was gathering my drinking
survival supplies, Tracey told me to not say anything absurd to these people
that would make them want to fight me. I got to the table and took a seat.
The girl's friend introduced herself as "June." I said, "It's nice to meet you
June, I'm July." She made a cheesy grin and made a fake "haha." She asked me
about myself and the other girl returned--HB Memphis.

We talked and I shot the shit with all three of them. Devon, the guy who
looked like the crazy guy from my hometown, was drunk and I kept bullshitting
with him. He was tickling the girls. It was funny. HB Memphis was on the
thick side, but I had gin in me and I was really curious about her ass. It's
like I really can't tell what a girl's ass will really look like despite
whatever shape it seems to be in their jeans. Well, MOST of the time. I mean
you could tell if it was insanely huge and she's waddling like a penguin, but I
think I've made my point. She was tan and had a 7.5 face. Cute.

Later on, June was asking HB Memphis to come with them somewhere else.
Apparently, she told her that she was going to stay. June tried again, but was
denied. Devon and June left me with HB Memphis.

HB Memphis and I played slaps despite Owen Wilson stealing that shit from the
for the sake of the awesome new movie, "Wedding Crashers" (go see it
if you haven't already). I always try to play slaps with a girl with my eyes
closed since it's so easy to win. I got another half-pint of gin and grabbed
her hand. I dragged her over to an open booth. The place had cleared out a

We're sitting there getting shithoused and I put my arm around her. We made
out for tiny sessions. I tried to do my personality test on her, but I forgot
how to finish it because I had gotten too housed. I just resumed making out
with her.

At around 2 AM, she said, "Let's go." Alright. I grabbed her hand and led her
out. I told her we would get a cab and how to work the cabbies for the right
fare. I told her exactly how I would do it as DC cab drivers suck ass and will
attempt to rip you off over and over if you let them. They work on zones, not
meters. And when you leave the District into another state like VA or MD, the
rates are unknown unless you've ridden before and have tried to tell them to
drive for a cheap amount. Anyways, I told her we would approach cabs and say,
"Pentagon City... Fifteen?!" She was thrilled that I lived near her in Crystal
City. We approached one and he said the fare would be $20. I said to driver,
"No. Later." I dragged her to another one down the line of the strip and looked
back at her. She smiled. Another shot at a cabby came near. I leaned in the
window again... "Pentagon City... Fifteen!?" The guy told us to get in.

We got in and made out. I needed to get more money, so I told the driver to go
to an ATM. We got to my spot and I asked him how much of a tip I should give
him. I was drunk. He told me to pay him twenty dollars for the fare and all.
I was being an idiot.

We went in and grabbed some beers. We made out on the couch and I took her to
the bedroom.

I took off her shirt and she removed her bra. I pulled off her jeans and later
her panties. NO resistance. We make out and I go down on her for about twenty
minutes. She was squirming. Mmmmmmm... she had a few rolls on her, but she
wasn't a complete fat girl. LOL. She told me she knew French and minored in
it in college. She was working on her Master's in Public Policy. I told her
to talk dirty to me in French while I fucked her. She did a little and I told
her that a guy from Northern France taught me how to say, "You wanna fuck
bitch?!" in French. She asked me to say it to her and I whispered it into her
ear. We did the 69 and I fucked her in a few other positions before blowing
heaps of warm Narcissisto's on her belly. Splooge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We commenced to pillow talk. I told her that I was so sick of the pretentious
attitudes of women in the area and how they like to play guys. I told her I
had only been here a couple of months, and that I had already started to adjust
my game to playing women before they played me. I said I'd really like to just
find someone that I can hang out with and share my stories and experiences with
without having to succumb to the land of no return or flaking and forgetting.
She said, "What if that girl was sitting right next to you?" She had said to
ask her out twice earlier in the night. LOL. I told her that I am a player
right now and that I can't stay with one woman. I started talking about other
women of the past and she told me she didn't want to hear anymore about the
other women. She spoke in French again and I mentioned this French girl I met
last month at Local 16. I got halfway through the story where I asked the
French girl how open sex was in France and how persistent men are with
approaching and laying women. I didn't get any further and HB Memphis grabbed
my face and heavily made out with me. I guess she was trying to shut me up.
We fucked again.

This time I looked back in the mirror like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho
and watched me fuck her from behind for a few seconds. She was saying, "Does
that feel good baby?" Mmmhmmm.. I blew on her back and she asked me to wipe it
off. I grabbed some dirty boxers and wiped it off. We went to sleep.

Later in the afternoon, she wanted to go. I said I was tired and lay under the
covers while she got dressed. I asked if Memphis was a crime-ridden city. She
said it was and that it was filled with black people. I told her to write her
number down because I was too lazy to put it in my phone. I pointed to the
pens and paper. She was about to exit my room while I was still in the bed and
she said, "You're going to walk me out Justin!" I laughed and said that I was
just thinking about that and that she might have thought I was a complete
asshole for not doing that. I walked her out and stood out on the porch. I
had no shirt on and this Jeep full of hot women stopped at the corner and
stared at me. My hair was all messed up and I smiled at them while this girl
was on my porch. LOL. I kissed her goodbye.

I think I fucked it up already because of my drunk-dialing on Saturday night
and my cheesy assed AFC text message I sent. I told myself I was not going to
do any more drunk-dialing, but it happened again. Arggghhhh!

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "Narcissisto" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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