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Lay Report Someone else’s Party

mASF post by ajhorst

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Lay Report Someone else’s Party
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mASF post by "ajhorst"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, August 8, 2005

LR Someone else’s Party

Yesterday was pretty crazy. It started out with me going over to one of my
friend’s new apartment. We were thinking about having a small party by buying a
keg and calling over a few friends. I also had a few fresh #s in my phone, so I
figure I would also call them over. We made some calls, and made some plans on
how the guys would split up the cost of the keg (about 15 bucks a person).
Everything was going nicely.

His apartment is a college community, so it is crawling with hbs. I decide to
grab a beer and go with my friend walking around inviting hbs to the party. The
first one I see is walking her dog right as I step out the door.

Me: Nice beagle
hbdog: Ya, she’s a little hyper today
Me:Ya, my friend just go a beag…
hbdog: (giggling)I think she likes you
Me: Ya, most dogs usually do
Me: (looking at the dog)I don’t want you to get any ideas, we’re only
friends…I’m not that easy.
hbdog: (laughing)
Me: So my friend just moved in and we’re having a party, you should stop by.
hbdog: Ya, I might…you know amog is having a party right above you, so that’s
where I’ll be most of the night.
Me: Allright, I’ll see you sometime tonight then.

We then walk towards the pool, and there are about 15 gorgeous females
barbequing. We could only see two guys. I almost had to rub my eyes like I was
seeing a mirage. Every single one of these girls was above a 7, and I have a
very tough rating standard. So we walk up to this huge set and open them.

Me: What’s up
One of the hbs: Not mu…

All of the sudden as I’m standing right by the grill a HUGE flame pops up. I
don’t flinch, but turn my head towards the grill and back up.

Another hb: OMG are you ok
Me: Holy shit, do you guys do this to every male that walks up…no wonder
there’s like 15 of you and only two guys.
Them: (lauging)
Hbleader: actually we’re the (forget the mame)ette’s
Me: (sarcastically) WOW, I’ve never met a (forget the name) in person.
Hbleader: you don’t know what we do, do you
Me: Nope, never heard of you guys.
Hbleader: We’re the spirit group of the UT baseball team.
Me: Oh, like cheerleaders, I went out with one of the UT cheerleaders, you
might know her.
Anotherhb: No, we aren’t cheerleaders
Me: So like a dance team…
Hb: No
Me: Ya, I get it now…I know what you guys are (pause about 3 seconds)
Me: baseball groupies.

They then all look pissed, and not in a good way. My friend whispers in my ear
(I think you blew it). Just as I was about to acknowledge him, I hear my name
in the distance. It was one of my exes who turned out to be very unstable. I
hadn’t talked to her in about 3 months. Regardless, I wave her over to the
group and introduce her. My friend then starts talking to the huge set while I
talk to my ex. I ended up inviting her to the party and told her to bring some
of her girlfriends. She left shortly after. I then began talking to the huge
set again.

Me: My beer is out, does anyone want one while I’m up.

All the girls then look to hbleader.

Hbleader: no thanks
All the other hbs: no thanks

Me: allright, cool. We’re having a party a little later in apt### you guys
should stop by an represent the (_Y_)ette’s.
Hbleader: ya, we might do that

My friend and I then go back to his apartment to finalize the plans for the
party. We then start talking about the party hbdog mentioned. We decide to go
upstairs and check it out. When we got up there, I opened the door (no
knocking…after all, it’s a party) and see a keg 2 guys and 4 INCREDIBLY hot
women. All of them had that “unapproachable because I’m too good for you” look.

Me: Whats up

They continue the conversation they were having and act like they didn’t hear
me. I walk up closer to them.

Alpha: nuthin dude
Me: Cool, hbdog said you guys were having a party
Alpha: Ya, everyone’s showing up around 9, (looks at my friend) You just moved
in yesterday right.
Friend: Ya.
Alpha: Cool, You guys can stop by later for a beer if you want
Me: We’re also having a party downstairs, but we might stop by later with some

We then went back down to my friend’s apartment and start calling around trying
to reserve a keg, and everyone is either out or their prices have been jacked
up. They all said it is orientation at UT and all the frat houses were throwing
parties for the incoming students. We figured that the party is going to be
small anyways, so we decided to just pick up a bunch of beer and whatever else
at the grocery store and stop by taco bell for some food.

Shortly after we got back, someone knocks on the door so I answer it. It was
two of the hbs from the barbeque.

Me: Hey
Hb: hey, we wanted to see if you guys wanted to come outside and eat with us
Me: Well, I WOOOUULD, but I’m about to eat this Nacho Cheese gordita

I then pull it out of the bag and lift it beside my face.

Me: And after that, I’m going to move on to my ½ Pound Grilled Potato Burrito
Supream…..UPGRADED to STEAK.

I then lift the burrito out of the bag and give it a seductive look while
licking my upper lip. It’s hard to describe exactly what I did in print. But
the way I said it and how I did it had the girls laughing hysterically.

Hb: (looking at the other hb) OMG he’s hilarious.
Hb: Well, there’s nothing stopping you from eating your “½ Pound Grilled Potato
Burrito Supream…..UPGRADED to STEAK” (trying to say it like me) outside with
Me: All right
Me: (with my head in the fridge) Do you girls want a beer.
Both hbs: Sure
Me: I might as well bring a cooler out there

We then go to the group and start eating. It was mostly fluff talk, and I can’t
really remember anything specific. Some of the other girls grabbed a beer, but
most of them didn’t drink. I turned to one of the hbs that knocked on my door.
It was more of a private conversation as everyone was talking amongst

Me: So, I see that most of your fellow (whatever)ettes are on the wagon
Hbknock:Ya, its soooo freaking annoying. Hbleader and them went on this retreat
and came back all changed. They used to be the biggest sluts around, and now
they act all righteous like they are better.
Me: Ah, I see. Just let them hang around “The AJ” a little longer and they will
be right back to normal….Instead of asking “What would Jesus Do?,” they’ll be
asking “Who was it I just blew?”
Hbknock: you’re EVIL (while she keno’s my arm and giving me “the look”)
Me: You just need to convince Hbleader to come out to our party with her posse,
I’ll whip them right back into shape.
Hbknock: Why are you so concerned about Hbleader
Me: Because I can tell she’s the leader of the pack.
Hbknock: Ya, actually she is the captain.
Me: So go tell Darth Vader to get everyone to come to the party.
Hbknock: (laughing) Ok.

Hbknock then starts talking to the group and hbleader about how they should go
to our party. They then start discussing weather or not they should go, and
finally decide to come along. I then start talking to my friend about how we
don’t have near enough alcohol to supply all 15 girls plus the people we
invited. Remembering about the guys upstairs who had a keg, we decided to just
have everyone go upstairs.

We left a note on my friend’s door saying that the party was upstairs, and then
went to the party. It was about 8:45 so no one else was there yet except for
now 4 guys and the 4 INCREDIBLY hot girls. I walk up to the guys and say that
some friends were coming up, and he just replied, “whatever.” Shortly after,
all 15 of the hbs came up, and you should have seen the look on the amogs
faces. They were then trying to give me hi-fives and completely threw out their
alpha persona. It was like they were completely different guys. They just
relinquished all their power to me and accepted me as their new leader.

I, of course, then turn to the INCREDIBLY hbs that were there.

Me: Whats up
Hb9.5:Not much, so how did you get all those girls over
Me: (lick her face) I’M RICK JAMES BITCH (Thanks PlayerQ20, I owe you one)

Then (I guess now I should call them) bmogs and the other three hbs were
falling on the floor laughing.

Bmog: I can’t belive you just did that to Hb9.5
Me: What, this
Me: (lick her face) I’M RICK JAME BITCH (Again thanks PlayerQ20)

This time everyone in the room saw this, and they were all laughing. I then
tell Hb9.5 that I would talk to her later and started introducing the huge set
to everyone. We put music on and the party has now officially begun. Eventually
more and more people start coming in, and it’s about half people my friend and
I know and half people the bmogs know. I just walked around the party getting
to know people and introducing everyone.

My ex eventually comes in with two of her friends. One of them was exceptional,
which somewhat surprised me. I just figured she’d bring ugs to make herself
look better by comparison in front of me. As the party progressed, I was just
walking around talking to different sets. Most of the time I would be talking
to one group, and then hear my name across the room. When I would walk to the
other group, they would have someone that “had to meet me,” and they were
usually talking about the “Rick James” incident. Apparently Hb9.5 is known for
being an incredible bitch to people she doesn’t know. They would usually
comment about how they “Couldn’t believe” I “got away with that.”

Later on I started talking to my ex’s friend…

Hbexfriend: So YOU’RE the AJ everyone is talking about
Me: The one and only (turn my head and wave at someone saying my name)
Hbexfriend: so what do you do when you aren’t licking people’s faces and having
20 girls follow you to a party?
Me: I’m a male stripper
Hbexfriend: Oh really, why don’t you give me a lap dance
Me: I don’t give out lap dances for free, you give me one and then I’ll think
about it.
Her: Sounds like fun

We then walk over to the couch, and I say “excuse me; we need to borrow the
couch for a moment… Hbexfriend is about to give me a lap dance” they move off
the couch, and everyone catches word and gathers around us. I then say to
Hbexfriend, “Ohhh, the pressures on, now you are in the spotlite…you better
give a good performance” A new song plays that is appropriate for the lap
dance, and Hbexfriend starts her routine. She was doing a damn good job, and
every time she bent over I would slap her on the ass.

About ¼ of the way through the song my ex barges through the crowd and grabs my
arm leading me out saying, “we need to talk.” I tell everyone that I will be
right back, and as we are headed towards the door, my ex looks at Hbexfried and
shouts, “SKANK.” As we are walking out, she tries to hold my hand while I deny
her. When we get outside, she asks me to go up to her bedroom. Of course, I
denied her request. Then she starts crying and trying to hold me.

Me: Allright, you need to stop
Ex: You’re such a fucking asshole, you know, I LOVED YOU
Me: I know, that’s why I broke up with you. I didn’t feel the same way.
Ex: So do you just go around FUCKING every girl you see, like you did to ME.
Me: You know what, THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. There is no reason for me to stand
here listing to you BITCH. Now, I thought you could be cool; and I thought you
could be a responsible adult and be able to handle attending ONE FUCKING PARTY
with me there. I guess I was wrong. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM (as I’m pointing in
the general direction like a parent yelling at his 4 year old). I don’t want to
see you up here again tonight.

She then ran away sobbing. I actually did get really pissed off (after all, she
interrupted my lap dance), and it took me a minute to calm down before I went
back to the party. As I went back in, everyone was yelling my name. All the
girls were especially going up to me asking about everything with my ex. Women
LOVE drama. I just told them that she wanted to fuck, I turned her down, she
started crying, and that I sent her to her room. I didn’t make anything sound
over-dramatic. They also were talking about other things like the “Skank”

About 10 minutes later, the cops knocked on the door. One of the bmogs looked
through the peephole and told everyone to quite down, “It’s the cops.” I then
walked over to the door and started talking to them. I could write a whole post
alone on dealing with cops. The key is to remain one notch below them in
status. If you act higher status, they will take you to jail…ALWAYS. If you act
like a pussy, they will write tickets. So, I answer the door.

Me: So are we a little loud
Cop: We got a noise complaint…and in a college place like this, we don’t get
many of those. Y’all must have been real loud.
Me: Ya, a few more people showed up than what we expected
Cop: I see you boys are drinkin’…..a lot
Cop: Is everyone here 21
Me: Probably not, I didn’t check everyone’s IDs as they walked in or anything
like that. (I show him my ID)
Cop: I see you recently turned 21, you know that a contributing to minors
ticket is a minimum of a $2,500 fine.
Me: (acting surprised…believe me, I know every law in the book having anything
to do with “minors”) REALLY?!? Even if I didn’t buy the keg myself?
Cop:Yessiree (He then goes on to explain all the laws while I act interested)
Me: Wow, I’m glad you told me that. This party should have ended a long time
ago, I’ll tell everyone to go home, and make sure no one drives drunk.
Cop: Now that’s a good idea, but if I get one more complaint, I’m writing
everyone a ticket and taking you to jail.
Me: Ok, thank you

I then tell everyone that it’s my ass if we get another complaint, so everyone
needs to go home. As everyone was leaving, I literally had a LINE of hbs
wanting to get my #. I’m not exaggerating. It was amazing. I was putting one
hbs # into my phone while there were two more in a single file line. I got a
total of 8 numbers. I remember when hbexfriend was giving me her # she said,
“Ex will hate me for this, fuck that bitch…Call me.” That should be the easiest
future lay of all of them.

As I’m walking down stares to go sleep at my friends place, hb9.5 grabs my hand
and says, “Let’s go watch a movie at my place.” Now, every guy knows what women
mean when they say “let’s watch a movie.” It’s not even up for interpretation.
She then said, “I can’t believe you licked my face right when you met me.” I
just replied, “Ya, don’t act like you didn’t love the attention.” That was the
last thing said between us that night. She just smiled as we walked up to her
apartment. Right as we got inside, we started making out. About an hour later,
I had to reach for the condom. I said a total of two sentences to this girl. I
woke up over at her place, told her bye, got her #, came back and wrote up this


Ps: I have another post in general dealing with Alpha behavior and AMOGing that
I recommend you check out called “AMOGing and Fighting…”

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "ajhorst" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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