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Lay Report: Threesome on the way

mASF post by Viper

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Lay Report: Threesome on the way
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mASF post by "Viper"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, August 8, 2005

Last sunday me and some of my buddies hit up a day club in North Sydney called
Sounds on Sunday at the infamous Greenwood Hotel.

Now as I believe, when RSD came to Sydney some time ago, they held a workshop
there. Since then just about every woman who frequents Greenwood Hotel has
heard just about every opener on these boards. I hear horror stories of some
wings who use Dental floss and get the response 'OMG, someone asked me that
just 5 minutes ago!'.

Ok, so I make a mental note. Under no circumstances am I to use someone elses
game. We rock up, and it's very nice. Sun is shining, everyone is outside
having a blast. Music is at a moderate level and it's a bit of a cockfarm as
far as ratio goes. Now because it's daytime, I feel unnatural walking around
opening sets like I usually do infront of everyone. I direct my friends to a
table that's fairly in the middle of a walkway, and sit so that I protrude into
the walkway. As hotties walk past, I hit them with the opener. One chick walks
past wearing this TOTALLY sexy green top with an open back. She gets my blood
rushing. As she walks past me, I trip her over and catch her, thus I look like
I just saved her a huge embarassment. I hit her with 'Woah slow down kitten,
you'll hurt yourself'. She giggles so I caveman her to my lap. Drag her down
and say 'Why don't you chill for a bit? I'm bored and you look like a
really...nice person. Mmmm, you smell nice too! what's that? Ralph?'

She freaks out that I guessed her perfume. Throw the big SOI in with 'Yeah one
of my fuckbuddies used to wear it...omg, it's almost like you're my new
fuckbuddy!' She giggles her ass off and mock hits me. I mock hit her back, and
say 'Ok, well I need to get back to my friends...was nice meeting you'. I watch
her walk off and start dancing. It is then that I notice she is tripping out on
excstasy. Note to self: Do not pursue junkies, you're above that.

I decide that i'm getting nowhere in the walkway, so I go back to my usual
moving pickups. I walk through the dancefloor and spot two hotties, both taller
than me (yum!) and both sexy as hell. We'll name them HB9.5SexyEyes and
HB9CuteButt. In an instant I begin my slow meander towards them. I cut through
behind the 9 and some random dude like i'm going to walk past into the inside
bar. As I grab her waist ********

Sorry to interrupt myself, but one thing I learnt long ago is tht when you walk
through a crowd, you DO NOT pretend the other people don't exist. I used to
just lightly place a hand on their shoulder and prod them over, then just as
quickly would disappear through the crowd. WRONG! I see so many people do it
now and it's beta as anything. FROM NOW ON you will ALWAYS interact with the
people you move. I place BOTH hands on women's waists and LIGHTLY move them
while smiling or sticking my tongue out. DO ANYTHING, just don't do

anyways, as I grab her waist she looks at me. (They always look because it's
not everyday a guy seductively grabs their waists). As she looks as me, I smile
and bust out an opener.

"Hey dude, is this a gay day or something?"...I flow with this, talk about how
some dude keeps following me around and slaps my ass, and that I'm going to
talk to her for a bit just to look taken. We roleplay and she digs it.

She grabs my ass, and I look at her and say 'Look but don't touch, I charge
extra for that'. She asks how much I charge and I say $35. The 9.5 says 'Well I
charge people $100 to touch my ass'. I look at her ass and say 'You charge $100
for THAT?!'.

She backturns me, and I grab her ass. She turns back around and says 'That'll
be $100. I tell her I'm charging her $105 because it's not everyday someone as
sexy as me touches her ass. I then tell her that rather than pay me, she can
buy me a drink. We haggle down and she says that rather than buy me a drink,
she'll just kiss me. She kisses my cheek, then I point to my other cheek.
Instead of her kissing it, the 9 does. I start pointing to random places, and
they take turns kissing me. I point to my lips and they both kiss me on the
lips. I point to each others lips and they make out.

I pull out my phone and tell them to put their numbers in because I want to go
pick up more chicks. They laugh thinking i'm joking, and they give me their

I kiss them both goodbye, and walk off. I open another chick standing by
herself with 'Hey, the belt doesn't match your shoes. What were you

She laughs and tells me she never expected a guy to notice. I laugh and tell
her I'm no ordinary guy. She spots my pearls and says 'Obviously not...' I
reply with 'Ok let's dance!' I grab her and start dancing with her, then in the
ultimate show of 'I don't give a fuck-ness', I take her over to the 9.5 and the
9 and tonguedown her. The 9 and 9.5 are now looking at me DDB styles, and I can
tell they're loving it. I keep making out with the new chick, but I'm staring
intently at the 9 and the 9.5. They're staring back.

I stop making out with the new chick, give her my phone, she enters her number
and I spin her around and slap her on the butt to dismiss her. Admitingly she
was a 7.5, although she served her purpose. I wink at the 9.5 and the 9 and
backturn. They fucking chase me halfway through Greenwood to the quiet chillout
bar. En route, I see one of my wings completely OBLITERATE an AMOG. He grabs
the AMOGS girl and starts dancing. The amog says to him 'Fucking smartarse'. My
wing turns to him, says 'I got your smartarse right here!!'. He then drops his
pants, drops his boxers, turns around so his arse is inches away from the amogs
face, then with one hand he tugs his butt cheek away and says 'One plus one
equals two...SMARTARSE!!!!!!!!''.

I immediately urinate myself laughing, my wing has a coy smile on his face, and
everyone starts laughing. I Hi5 wing, and he pulls up his pants and says 'Now
THAT was a smartarse'. He re-engages HB, and AMOGs face is red.

I go to quiet chill area of greenwood and grab a booth. The 9 and 9.5 find me
maybe 2 minutes later. We reposition so that i'm in the middle, and I rub them
both up. Thighs, belly, titties etc. After some light fluff, I throw down the
threesome gauntlet with 'So who's the better kisser?'

After making out with them BOTH for 5 mins, I start thinking extraction. I ask
the 9 where she lives, and she tells me she lives near Blues Pt (a lookout
point that faces the harbour bridge directly). I tell her I've always wanted to
go to blues point. She tells me it's just a 5 minute walk from her place.

We fluff some more, then 9.5 says she's tired (at like...4pm), and we cab it
back to HB9s place. We arrive, and HB9.5 goes straight for her car, says she's
tired and needs to go home. She tells me to call her, and I promise I will
(right after I fuck HB9, infact).

HB9 invites me in like the good girl she is, and volunteers to make me
something to eat. She makes waffles, and they're AWESOME. I'm going to marry
her just for her waffle skills. We watch Bruce almighty for a bit, and while
it's on, we're both cuddling under a blanket on her couch. I decide to go for a
bit of comfort and trust but not too much so I don't fuck myself out of a

I tell her that I think she's awesome and definately a great kisser, and we
kiss some more. From there, clothes come off and dick goes in. We have
post-coital waffles (MMMMMMMMMM!) and then post-waffle oral.

I crash at hers for the night, and she wakes me at 7am for a quick shag before
work. I, however have the day off so I cab it back home a satisfied man. Get
home, call 9.5 and she asks me how good HB9 is in bed. I nonchalantly tell her
she's great and can't be bettered. She begs to differ, so I arrange a meet with
her for this thursday.

I love life.


Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "Viper" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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