A simple value-eliciting scheme (from an unknown source): You: What's important to you in a relationship? A relationship, not qualities in
a person... Her: Well... x1 You: Yeah... that's really important to me too. How do you know when you have
x1? Her: xxx (talking about x1). You: I agree... that's a powerful one. Well, what else is important to you in a
relationship? Her: x2 You: Yeah... xxx (talking about x2). Her: xxx (talking about x2). You: Wow...that would be great to be with someone like that. Well, what else is
= important to you in a relationship? Her: x3 You: Yeah... xxx (talking about x3). Her: xxx (talking about x3). Step 2 You: Of those three values - x1, x2, x3 - which is the most important? Which
would you absolutely have to have? Her: Well... xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3) You: Well... I could see that. Of the other two, which is most important? Her: xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3) Step 3 About an hour+ later: You: You know...I've been thinking that maybe we've really got the start of
something beautiful here. And I think it's something based on (x1, x2, and x3 in order of
her preference she provided in step 2). She will go into a pleasure state, at the peak touch her and say: You: Can you FEEL THAT would be a really wonderful thing to experience? | 
Eliciting Values
