The Top Pickup Artist Forum On The Internet: Fast Seduction 101

“Q&A: Starting Conversations With Women And Flake Prevention!” - March 25, 2003

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

G from Fl again here. I wanted to follow up on my previous question about the bartender's comment, and ask you once again for your help. If you dont remember, ill jog your memory a little. I wrote you about the girl that had made a comment saying "before this, i thought you were a player and a bit of a whore......" (I know you remember now)..Now that we are caught up here, I wanted to let you know what happened the next weekend we went out. The next Friday after work, one of the regulars at my bar told me that he was having a party at his house near by and invited me to come over after work. While we were in the process of closing up the bar, I called her on her cell phone and told her "Listen, I was invited to a party and I am closing up now..You are more than welcome to tag along if you want, but you do need to be here within 30 min" she responded by saying "that sounds great, we are closing here too, so ill be there soon." To make the story short, we get to the house party and theres people everywhere (most of them I knew from my bar). I introduced her to a couple people and go on to leave her and started talking to just about everyone at the party excepts for her. Occasionally i would check back with her to see if everything was cool and let her know that i was still around. At the end of the party, it was just her and i talking on the couch and i asked her a question about a guy she had dated, and she responded by saying "well i dont know you very well so i dont know if i should get into that" i quickly responded by saying "you know what, I dont NEED to know about it, nor do i want to know anymore." After i said this, she was insistent in telling me but i kept saying "forget it" We finally dropped it and started talking about something else. My question is this Dave: I think this girl really likes me bc shes always smiling when she talks to me and is always playing with her hair, and i just recently noticed that she often cant look me in the eyes for too long (this tells me shes intimidated), so how do i get this girl to open up more and in a way take it to the next level???

G in Fl

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email... I love to hear the follow ups to stories, and know how the story is playing out.

Let's get right to the point:

What makes you think that getting this girl to "open up more" is the way to "take it to the next level"?

Huh?

And WHAT ON EARTH are you thinking asking her a question about a guy that she's dated in the past in order to do this?

Duh?!

You're basically doing the right things, and you seem to be on track. But be careful. It sounds to me like you're TRYING to SCREW THIS UP the best you can.

Now, maybe my memory is failing and I'm a loser, but I don't recall you writing me before and saying "Yea, so I met this girl that I think is cool, and I made her like me by asking all kinds of personal questions about her past relationships".

No no nooooo!

That's not how things go, my man.

And nowhere in my materials will you find me EVER suggesting that you need to get a girl who you've just started seeing to "open up more" in order to take things to the next level.

Before I tell you what the RIGHT thing to do is, let me give a quick disclaimer:

As I wrote this last few sentences, I could already imagine all the people reading this thinking "What? It's not a good idea to get a girl to open up more?"... and "Does David D. think that people shouldn't open up to each other?"...

Of course, I didn't say that.

What I AM saying is that at the BEGINNING this might be a bad idea.

Why?

Well, if you've only gone out with a woman once or twice, and you then start talking about "deeper" subjects, past relationships, and using other "get her to open up" tactics you'll probably only scare her away.

She'll be thinking to herself "Oh, another guy who is starting to like me too fast, and trying to get involved with me too fast".

You're asking for trouble.

Instead, lean back. Give her space. Have fun. Don't get too serious too fast.

AND DON'T ASK HER ABOUT PAST RELATIONSHIPS!

As Deuce Biggalow's friend once said:

"Don't make me he-bitch-man-slap you!"

Work on amplifying the ATTRACTION that she has for you... not trying to get her to "open up".

'Nuff said.

And keep me updated...

***SUCCESS STORY***

David,

I have just GOT to tell you what a FANTASTIC service you are doing for all of us males who are (in my case, were) residents of Dateless Land. The amount you charge is a pittance when compared to what we get in return. Let me tell you, six months ago, I couldn't get a date to save my life. No lie. Of course, every woman in the city would LAUGH in your FACE if you tried to tell them that right now. But the fact is, I was a big, fat NOBODY. I thought I could use my charm, eloquence, manners, and a healthy amount of respect to win a mate.

I cannot believe how NAIVE I was! I actually believed that crap. Whoever said that you can get more flies with honey obviously died a virgin. Fortunately for me, I discovered your e-mails. I ignored them at first. Just deleted them, and went about on my sad, dateless life. But they kept coming. And a strange thing happened: I started reading them. Well, it's lucky that I'm a quick study. The VERY NEXT day I went bar-hopping to try out your strategies. I think it was the second or third bar I tried (I'm not sure; I did have a drink or five) when I saw her. Gorgeous woman. 6'2, or maybe it was 6'3... I dunno. Mathematics has never been my strong suit. Anyway, the point is, I went up to her. I had cocky and funny coming out of my EARS. I waded through it, and proceeded to knock her SOCKS clean off! I started by insulting her shirt (which was actually a very nice blouse, but who the heck cares?) By the time I was finished... Well, let's just say that she ended up driving me home--the next morning. I've been a devout follower of yours ever since.

V, in Austin

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for the kind words.

Just a thought:

Can you imagine being a beautiful woman that's over 6 feet tall... who's used to men approaching her, cowering in her presence, kissing up to her, and acting like scaredey cats... and then one guy walks up and starts making fun of her blouse?

lol... you're a very, very bad man.

And that's a good thing.

***QUESTION***

Hey dave!

I'll save the shameless plug for the end (and its good).

Recently bought Advanced CD series and been listening to it constantly on the plane and stuff to and from wherever like on spring break and it blows my mind, its great, im getting 30 year old blondes and stuff to laugh hysterically (im 21) in places like waiting to board an aircraft where there is typically little time or environment to even do it and its just so fun and funny.

Question:

How can I analyze a particular situation (like the following) as either a major misfire on my part that signals i need to balance the cocky/funny formula better or as simply an uptight bitch girl that it just happened to fail on?

Example:

I'm in the gym and I walk up to an attractive woman my age and I say, "Here let me suggest something" and I increase the weight on her machine by like 40 pounds. She's like "are you joking? I can't do that" in a serious, boring way that said immediately to me that she was probably a bit** with a dull personality. But I keep testing her to see if I'm right or wrong and say, "What, first time working out?" in a sly smile way and she says "Um my arms would fall off first" still in a annoyed way. I told myself to keep it on and I say, "Well good then it'll speed up your workout and I can get on the machine" and still she's just NOT playing into it whatsoever! Im already thinking "wow im tangling with a pretty bitch girl here but lets see....". So I wait for her to finish and i say with some slyness "oh you're done are you?" and she says (now rudely) "yea sorry to waste your time like that" and walks to the coat rack on the wall. At this point I can sense major annoyance and rudeness but I'm not gonna wuss out and say "oh just kidding chuckle" or any crap. So I say, "what, no sense of humor?" in a sly, sarcastic tone. Then she mutters something under her breath obviously mean and rude but i didnt quite catch it but clearly it was rude like her previous behavior.

Was I wrong here? I dont think I was and I think this girl was just dull and a bitch but frankly I'd like to know what you think. Cuz' if I messed up here, it would greatly help me to lay back on sarcastic cocky and more funny i guess. I've had great c+f success before so I doubt its me in this case.

And now the plug: Its true you can't buy happiness, but I think the advanced series and DYD book are a means of creating that happiness for oneself with inner confidence, power and outer game skill. A happiness from being successful women and thenceforth other areas of one's life. I feel empowered as a man that I can create this happiness for myself now whenever I want.

Thanks Dave,
G. from Rhode Island

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol...

Well, first of all, I think you might want to try doing something a little less DORKY, and a little more FUNNY or interesting.

I'm not sure that walking up to some woman you don't know in the gym and saying "Here, let me suggest something", and then increasing the weight on her machine is such a smooth opening line.

Now, if she's a cold fish, as you've guessed, then it really doesn't matter WHAT you do. Women who don't have a sense of humor and fun personality aren't very fun to spend time with anyway... and there's nothing you can do about that.

But you might want to say something like:

"Hey, how do you like using that machine?" to start.

See if she's even friendly first.

It sounds to me like you might need to work on the "funny" part of "Cocky & Funny".

Also, it's not necessary to be that funny at the very, very beginning.

If you're at the gym, she's busy, you're busy... all you need is her email and number.

Walk over, ask her for her opinion on the machine she's using. Say "Thanks, I'm going to get back to my workout."

Walk away.

Walk over 15 minutes later and say "Thanks for the advice on the machine... I tried it, and it's great."

Then, if she seems like a nice person, say "Hey, do you have email?"

Oh, and I appreciate the plug for my products. But what's with the word "thenceforth"? You don't say that word around women, do you?

Good, I hoped not.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave, First I must say this. I have a "friend" who I turned into a friend with my "wussy" ways about four years ago. We used to talk on the phone all of the time (both calling each other), and it wasn't until I told her how I felt about her that she ran! OH YEAH, like a cat with its tail on fire! So we have been talking once and a while for about a year now, and I couldn't figure out what I did wrong. I read a few of your Emails and found out the answer. EVERYTHING! So just recently we talked and she said she would come out to the local bar with me for Karaoke. I had been telling her how wild I get there , the women all over me , ETC. All the truth though thanks to you! At one point I told her of the 3 girls that had their hands down my jeans while I was singing. She ate it up! I was forward with her about a lot of things, like telling her "she couldn't handle me"etc. I touched her at the bar and gave her a back rub. She commented on the back rub and said "you are going to put me to sleep". The next day she was making the same old comments about how she is too old for me (6 years) , but not the friend stuff I was used to.

Here is my question. It seems like I may have somehow managed to get a second chance with her. What can I do to be sure not to mess it up this time. I don't want her to see a fast transition into the C&F routine, and did not use it the night I took her out. Should I bust on her and call her old? Please help!

Anonymous

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, I see your big plan...

You want to SLOWLY turn from a Wuss Bag into Mr. Cool... without her really noticing.

Smooth concept.

Sounds like a great way to act like a Wuss, but explain it away by telling yourself things like "Well, I can't act too differently because then she'll suspect something is up..." etc.

I suggest that you stop trying to over-think this one, and start doing the right things NOW.

NOW!

Old proverb:

"No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, TURN BACK."

***QUESTION***

Heya's, I got your book set awhile ago, I fully understand all the concepts, it was a very "enlightening" read, except for one concept. I cant seem know when to draw the line between "busting" on them and "being rude or insulting". Unable to solve this problem, I have kinda kept my mouth shut, resorted back to the shy guy when I am around women (wuss).I am attempting to fight the urge to be a wuss, but its hard to resist. Like today this great lookin blond sat at the same table as me in the libary. She was using the table to make copies of her scholarship application. I ignored her pretty much doing my homework, until I wanted to talk to her, as I saw she was applying for many application. So I said, "applying for a few scholarships are ya?", she said "yeah 12"... ok here's where I blew it, I said, "I looked, I dont have enough units to qualify for any of them.", she said, "thats to bad, maybe next time, I'm hoping that 12 is enough, hoping for at least 1.", I said "yeah, those are pretty good odds, good luck!", (didnt get number or email) rest of conversation was majors/returning student ..etc not exciting. As you can see the c+f routine is hard for me, it's never been apart of my personality. I am just a cool "nice" guy, who doesnt say much, partly because sometimes I feel what i havta to say, will insult them or they'll dislike me for saying what I think. Ok so I guess my questions are, how could I have "teased" her to get her to like me more, and how do I develop confidence.. and the c + f routine... yeah..yeah.. I know its in your book.. but I need more then that.(poor student cant afford dvd set)

-- CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The difference between "busting" and "being rude and insulting" is...

HUMOR.

It has to be FUNNY.

Now, as I mentioned above in a previous comment, I really think that too many guys try to do too much at the very beginning.

One of the biggest mistakes men make - and this is a UNIVERSAL mistake - is trying to IMPRESS women when they first meet them.

You don't have to do anything fancy at the beginning.

ALL YOU NEED IS HER EMAIL. That's it.

When you're alone over a cup of tea or coffee you can try the fancy moves like being funny... lol.

You really need to mentally rehearse a few different situations, and know EXACTLY what you're going to do when they come up.

When you said "applying for a few scholarships are ya?" and she said "yea 12", you should have read the situation, determined whether or not she seemed friendly talked for a minute, and moved directly to "Hey, do you have email?"

Don't try to bust on her, don't try to be cute or clever.

Just get her email!

***QUESTION***

Dave -

I recently broke up with a girl, a definite 8.5, due to my becoming a total wuss around her. In the beginning, I acted cocky and like I didn't care weather I saw her again or not. We laughed and joked all the time. I eventually started liking the tremendous attention she was giving me. I was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Now, my personality allows me to grow attached quite quickly and easily, so it wasn't long until I was telling her that I love her (she said it first). I began supplicating, I gave her everything she wanted, and constantly told her how attractive she is and how much I love her. She stopped putting out, said "it just doesn't feel right"; and she eventually told me that she didn't know why, but I was becoming more and more annoying to be around. We fought more and I did nothing but try to be nicer and nicer. It wasn't long after we split that a friend referred me to your newsletter, shortly after which I purchased your online book. They have helped me gain a lot of knowledge, especially about what I SHOULD have done. In fact, the situation was 100% EXACTLY identical to your December 16, 2002 newsletter and the letter titled "What causes women to pull away?". It was an epiphany. I just wished I heard about it sooner.

On to my question. The girl I had been with, I found out later on in the relationship, was quite well known in the places she and I would go hang out at. She had apparently been with more people than I cared to know, and therefore, maybe this isn't a question for you to answer. Where would you recommend going to look for girls who may not be such "party animals", but still looking to have fun with someone? "Nice girls", so to speak. Yes, I'm looking for someone who'll put out, but not on the first night I meet her. And that's all there seems to be in places such as bars and clubs. Church is out of the question, because I don't want a brainwashed fool, either. Any ideas?

K Phoenix, AZ

"This is a witty quote lacking anything to do with sheep." ;)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I guess the love-of-sheep conversation just won't die. Alas.

Now, on to your "Yes I'm looking for someone who will put out, but not on the first night I meet her" line of thinking...

Can I ask you a question?

SAY WHAT?

You want a girl that will what... "put out" on date #4?

lol...

Have you determined that this will solve all your problems?

I think you should put your pre-conceived notions about how a woman behaves in the "when she puts out" department aside, and start dating some women who have things going for them.

I believe that the most important factor in when a woman decides to be intimate with a man is THE MAN'S LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING and experience.

I have to say, it's not easy finding a woman that really has her life together.

You're probably going to have to date several women to find one.

Bars and clubs aren't the best places to meet smart, stable, secure women.

Try a yoga class, a Tony Robbins seminar, or a professional get-together.

Oh, and be careful with the "If she doesn't sleep with me, she's probably a better person" theory.

I know where you're coming from, and there is some logic to your thinking. But the reality is that the flip side of this coin is just as dangerous. If you find a woman that uses sex as a tool to manipulate you, you'll probably have a much worse time than if you got together with a woman who was "easy"...

***QUESTION***

Dear Dave

I am not sure how I came across your material, but it has helped me greatly over the last six months . I just wish I new about this stuff earlier. I am an ex pro hockey player and scoring with girls was quite easy when I was playing and in the spot light. Strippers, models and other great looking women would go home with me, without me even saying a word to the them. Now after my retirement it has been increasingly tougher to score with beautiful girls. After receiving your material, I realized I was terrible at attracting girls without my hockey player status. I Know now to bust on girls and tease them and it has worked wonders since my retirement.

On a trip back from europe recently I sat beside two Polish models and started a conversation with them just to try your material. I made fun of them, the whole flight, their names, how they talked, their clothes. It made me feel great that I wheeled these girls, and they gave me their email without me even having to ask and I did it without any status.

Question

I am going across country to see one of my hockey friends and I have a thing for his sister in law. We only met once at his wedding and we hit it off but I pushed to hard to sleep together that night and it back fired. She told me I was just going to be another story to the team. I am just wondering how to be around her. I am worried that being cocky and funny might not work with her. Is there times when it does not work?

thanks a
montreal

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great letter... thanks.

As for your "friend's sister in law" situation...

You have to realize something that's VERY IMPORTANT.

The idea is NOT to "be Cocky & Funny" as a technique to be FAKE and manipulate women.

The idea is to be Cocky & Funny because it's turning on a part of your personality around women and showing them that you're comfortable with yourself.

If I can rephrase what I hear you asking me, it would go something like this:

"Dave, there's this girl I like, and I'm willing to do whatever I have to in order to get her... I'll even act like something I'm not in order to manipulate her..."

Sure, I'm being a little harsh here... but what you're saying is that she has something you want (her), and you REALLY want it.

Guess what?

You want it TOO MUCH.

It's too important to you.

You need to stop worrying about whether or not "Cocky & Funny works all the time" and start focusing on being yourself, being happy in your life, and not caring what happens in any particular situation.

Look, attractive women are AMAZING at sniffing out fakes.

If she realizes that you put too much importance on what she thinks of you, she's going to blow you off.

And by asking me how to behave around her, you're telling me that you DO put too much importance on what she thinks of you... and on getting her.

Get over her.

Don't worry about it.

If you're indifferent to the outcome, you'll be more attractive.

If you like being Cocky & Funny in your life, then do it when you're around her.

Just don't modify how you behave in order to get her approval. You will only lose if you do.

***QUESTION***

can you turn a lesbian women straight with oyur tips and experience

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, sometimes I get an email that is priceless.

This is one of those emails.

I reprinted it exactly as it came to me... isn't it a masterpiece of careful thought and planning?

The answer?

Well, you might remember a year or so when a guy wrote in saying that he actually DID turn a lesbian woman over to the dark side (or light side?)...

And I remember the one letter that was FROM a lesbian who was having fun using the materials to meet men... and was considering dating a man...

lol...

But that's all fun and games.

If you're sitting around trying to figure out the magic formula to turn a lesbian woman straight, then you have WAY too much time on your hands.

Get a life, please.

Oh, and if you do discover how to do this, make sure you LET ME KNOW! If I knew the answer, I'd be rich.

***QUESTION***

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! Astounding. If ONLY I had known this stuff at age 16! Guys, don't even hesitate..get the DVD series if you can. Even if you have the CDs already..BUY a DVD player and get it. Simply the best self-help program ever for guys..even women. Brilliant stuff. Just watching David's friends come on and speak is worth the price tag. These guys are unbelievable. Ok..(deep breath)..now to my story:

I've used cocky and funny on line for years sporadically and have met some women, but this program helped me fine tune it to correct all my (serious) mistakes. Just from reading Dave's emails (before I bought the book and the DVDs), I had the confidence to meet a new woman on line and we had a wonderful night. I have just met a perfect 20 yr old 10 on line, (something I would NEVER have the sheer confidence to do) and we are planning on hooking up. Guys, this stuff works. And I am still a total novice. Although no longer a WUSS! That's the best part...Dave's way of kicking all of our asses for being wusses..which is what I've been all my life up till now. It is painful to change..but at least this program wakes you up to start changing! I am confident now to get emails, ask for phones and dates. I am still not so confident in approaching women on the street or even at a bar. But here is my question:

I work out every day at a gym..full of nice women..but I have a mental block or something to approach them. I mean, what do you say.."Hey you look great in those tight shorts?" If you could please offer some advice on this Dave, I'd appreciate it. It would perhaps help me have a break thru in a major way. Thanks Buddy... you are the Greatest!

D
Manhattan, NYC

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, as much as I appreciate your comments and nice words, I still have to verbally bitch slap you...

I think I'm going to make a new rule for sending in questions to me.

If you have an I.Q. above 50, you must at least TRY to answer your own question before you ask me...

You work out at a gym all the time, and you see hot girls running around everywhere...

You have my DVD program, and you've learned the material...

Do this:

1) Find a pen and paper.

2) Sit down alone for one full hour.

3) Write down as many ways to start a conversation in the gym as you can think of in that hour.

...you should come up with at LEAST 50 different ideas.

Here, I'll start you off with a few, and I promise not to take more than 3 minutes brainstorming...

1) "Hi"

2) "So what's the deal, are you always here when I'm here?"

3) "So what's your name?"

4) "How often do you work out here?"

...those too me about 30 seconds.

Are they the greatest? No.

But I didn't say "Come up with the greatest". I said "Come up with as many as you can".

Now, when you're finished coming up with as many possible ideas as you can think of in an hour, go back over them, and put a mark next to the GREAT ones.

You'll probably have 3-5 GREAT conversation starters.

Next, pick the one or two that you REALLY like, and MENTALLY REHEARSE them.

Think through how you'd actually use them the next time you're at the gym.

Think about every little detail of how the conversation would go.

You'll realize that some things are just strange to say, and some aren't practical, etc.

By mentally rehearsing, you'll really get a feel for how a particular approach will work out.

Then, once you find one you think will work, TRY IT.

Go talk to 3 woman next time you're at the gym.

Look, you're a smart guy. Think for yourself before you go looking for advice. You've got the tools. If you just take a few minutes here and there to THINK things through, you will come up with some GREAT answers.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

I am a 44 year old woman...and I want you to know that from the little I have read, you are RIGHT ON!!! I wish every single man on the planet (including some of the married ones) could read this stuff.

I have been mostly single since 1988..I am very pretty and smart and on and on...if I could just give out copies of this on a street corner, maybe these guys would understand the language and put it to good use.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

j

from the Central Coast of CA.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for the email.

You know, I get a lot of email from women saying the same things that you're saying.

And every so often I get an email from a woman saying "You suck, and you're a loser for teaching this stuff to men".

Go figure.

I really believe that women want men to behave the way that I teach.

Women don't want Wuss Boy men!

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

I have to say that your 'stuff' is nothing short of phenomenal. The sheer depth of information that you present covers not only dating, but life. You know, I recently ran across 'The Strangest Secret' by Earl Nightingale. I thought it was very profound. And if you 'get it' that's all you need. However, as I was relistening to DYD cd's, you covered this topic in depth. Once again, you have proven to me that you have an extremely thorough, well thought out series. My advice to your email subscribers is to buy your e-book read it & then buy the CD/DVD. Listen, listen and relisten, you will continually learn. OK, enough of that.

My specific question: A woman who I have dated, (not exclusively), cancels at the last minute. I know from your material that this is a test and I also know that she is into me. (sizzling chemistry). How should I handle this, should I call her again & if so, when. My response to her was 'what are you going to do to make this up to me'

Now, she is definitely not my one and only hope, but I would like to know how to handle cancelling get togethers, in such a way that she will regret cancelling and to get the attraction back on track.

Your friend,

S.
--Maryland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, I'm going to give you some "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" kind of advice here on this one.

The "flaking" issue (canceling at the last minute, changing plans, etc.) is a big one.

Women are notorious for being late, not showing up, changing plans at the last minute, etc.

I might sound a little bit judgemental here, and like I'm stereotyping women...

I am, I admit it.

But in my experience, it's true.

Women will often make plans that they don't intend to keep, just to avoid hurting a man's feelings or turning him down. Really.

Women also like to keep their options open, and if you're dealing with a woman who gets a lot of attention from men, there's a good chance that she uses the "I'll take the best offer I have" method of time management.

Here's some interesting news:

I RARELY have women flake out on me.

I can remember when I first started learning about how to be more successful with women... I had women flake out on me ALL THE TIME. I mean, it was a problem.

So what's the difference now?

Well, the FIRST, and MOST IMPORTANT difference is that I have stopped acting like I NEED to see her.

In other words, instead of being the guy who's chasing her around trying to corner her into seeing me, I have realized that I'm the one who is busy... I'm the one who's in demand, and I'm the one who should be ACTING like it.

This is MY REALITY that I live in. Not hers.

This simple shift in perspective and behavior... from acting like I want and need her attention badly... to acting like I am the one who should be pursued... has made a huge difference.

When you act like you'll do whatever she wants, and accept it when she flakes on you, etc. you're basically saying "You are a prize, and I will put aside my own life and needs for just the chance to spend time with you. If you flake on me, that's OK because you're more important than me anyway."

When you act like YOU are the busy, desirable one you send the message that "I am a prize, I am busy and happy in my life, and if you do anything to screw up your relationship with me it's going to be your loss. I don't tolerate people who waste my time or act flaky."

That's a key.

Now, here are a few other "flake prevention" ideas:

1) Don't make plans too far in advance. I'd say that at least 80% of the time I don't make plans more than 24 hours in advance. Why? Because I'M BUSY. If you want my attention, you'd better be ready to accept any time I find that I can free up. And you'd better be there.

I also think that shorter time frames make for fewer opportunities for other things to "come up".

If you make plans 5 days in advance, ALL KINDS of things can come up.

If you make plans 5 HOURS in advance, you have a much better chance of things happening.

2) Always talk about when you're busy before you talk about when you're available. Two to one is a good rule of thumb.

"I'm busy tonight, and I can't do it Thursday. Let's get together tomorrow afternoon around 4... but I only have a few hours, do don't be late."

3) Don't say things like "I can do it anytime" or "I'll make time for you whenever you want". This kind of thing just TELEGRAPHS the message that you're chasing her, you want her approval, etc.

4) Give her the gift of missing you. Don't call her all the time. Don't always bug her to get together. Don't always call her back when she calls you. In other words, have your own life.

Finally, make sure she knows that it's not OK to be flaky with you.

This takes some guts when you're dealing with an attractive woman that you like.

It's not always the easiest thing to say "Wasting my time and changing plans at the last minute isn't OK with me... even if your best friend is upset tonight because her cat is having a mental breakdown."

But it must be done.

I would like to know what she said when you asked her what she was going to do to make it up to you. That was a GREAT question to ask.

And as a last resort... if the problem keeps coming up with a woman, you might have to use the secret weapon:

PROBATION.

Just say "OK, well you're now on probation. No more making plans in advance with you. If you want to see me, you can call me and ask what I'm doing right then. If I'm free, I'll see you, but you've wasted too much of my time, and I'm not going to make plans with someone who can't keep them."

Then, when she asks to make plans, say on Friday, just say to her "Well, maybe. You can call me then and see if I'm free. But you're on probation now for being flaky, so no advance plans with you."

Harsh? Maybe.

But if YOU don't respect your own time and put value on it, then how do you expect anyone else to?

Exactly.

Ironically, even though these ideas might sound a little bit too extreme... and like they might scare a woman away, exactly the opposite is true. If you do these things, women will typically be MORE attracted to you, because you're acting like a MAN WHO RESPECTS HIMSELF.

If you DON'T do this stuff, she'll probably drift away from you, and you won't even realize why it's happening.

...and by the way, thanks for the comments at the beginning of your letter.

I have spent a lot of time on "self development" concepts in my Advanced Series... and there's a good reason for it.

After working on this area of my own life for over five years now, I understand many things that I didn't "get" before.

One of those things is that learning how to be successful with women and dating takes a whole lot more than just a few fancy pick up lines and a few drinks.

In fact, I've learned that some of the secrets to being successful with women and dating are so "counter intuitive" that I believe most men on this planet will go their entire lives without ever figuring them out.

This is a bummer, by the way.

I think many relationships will end because the men in them just don't "get it" when it comes to women.

And I think that many men will screw up their chances with that one "special" girl that the REALLY, REALLY want because they didn't take the time to give themselves a good education in this area.

To really have success in this area of life, I personally believe that you have to learn:

1) The history and evolution of how men and women came to be the way they are.

2) How and why women feel ATTRACTION for some men.

3) The beliefs and mindsets that men who are successful with women have.

4) The techniques and "skills" that it takes to actually get out there and meet, date, and interact with women.

...now, what's the big deal here?

The big deal is that most guys only want to learn #4: The techniques.

We all want the quick fix in life... the easy way.

Well, you can take it from me... someone who's spent YEARS trying to get to the bottom of this particular matter...

You MUST work on your INNER GAME^» first. You must learn how and why women become attracted to men, the history of how this evolved, the beliefs and mindsets of men who are successful with women, how to project this critical information through your behavior and communication, etc.

Then, when you learn the "how tos" and the specific techniques that I teach, they will WORK for you.

And what's the best way to learn all of this critical INNER GAME^» material?

Well, I've spent a lot of time, effort, and energy putting together my eBook and my Advanced CD/DVD Series.

These tools will give you the best education available on how to be successful with women and dating...

It's just the good stuff.

This is what I WISH I would have had in my own hands five years ago when I started out. It would have saved me YEARS of trial and error, and literally hundreds and hundreds of mistakes, bad experiences, and wasted hours of time.

My eBook and Advanced Series are easy to understand and straightforward.

No fancy words, tricks, or techniques.

Learn at your own pace, from the comfort and privacy of your own home... and they both come with a 100% risk-free money-back guarantee. If you're not thrilled, and you don't get more dates, just ask for your money back. No questions, and no hassles.

Go check them out. You'll be glad you did.

My Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

[products info link]

My eBook is available for immediate download here:

[ebook download link]

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!