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"How Guys Screw Up First Dates" - June 21, 2003

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“How Guys Screw Up First Dates” - June 21, 2003

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.

I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.

A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES

I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.

I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

THE ANSWER

The simple solution to this is...

DON'T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this...

SURPRISE...

IS THAT IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about her that you don't like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is "You're screwing up your chances with me".

Let's say I'm walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we're walking from my place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an "overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say "This relationship just isn't going to work".

Then, let's say fifteen minutes later she spills her tea on the table and herself.

I'll shake my head again and say "What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?".

In other words, I'm communicating the very OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying "I'm so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me".

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

So here it is again... one thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up... one thing to AVOID:

DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another note:

Most guys don't "get" women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.

They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".

That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques Program comes in...

The first segment of the program is entirely focused on your "Inner Game»". In other words, it's focused on helping you "get" what's going on.

This program goes into DEPTH about all aspects of psychology and behavior of men and women... and teaches you from the ground up. You must get rid of some of your bad programming before you can get GOOD programming.

You will get over 12 solid hours of digital video and/or audio of me teaching everything from the ground up on how to take things all the way from beginning to end... from the first meeting through the first date... all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.

You'll learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears of talking to women... how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, even if you don't have money or looks, etc.

In other words, it's a complete system.

You'll learn everything you need to know in order to start meeting and dating more women IMMEDIATELY.

All the details, and some great audio and video samples are here... check it out:

[products info link]

...and if you STILL haven't downloaded your copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's jam packed with dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else. And right now you can download it FREE, and try it out before you buy. Go download it here:

[ebook download link]

I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS QUESTION & ANSWER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a David's answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David's newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David's book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.

The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo.  All Rights Reserved.  By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.  All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity.  By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings.  Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.

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