“Q&A: How To Kiss A Woman” - March 23, 2004

***QUESTION***

First of all, lets get things straight. I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. Your success with women disgusts me, and the way you have it down to a science so well that you even make ME laugh sometimes with your smart assed comments to the lamers who write you vexes me. But it intrigues me as well. Your stuff works. So I use it. Doesn't mean I like you. Just means I like your "tools."

Anyway, the problem I'm having lately is I meet and flirt with a lot of women using c&f, but when it comes time for things to get a little physical, they tell me they're waiting for marriage to do all that! WtF?! Is there a way around this kind of a "defense" that women use on me oh so often? (Besides dumping their celibate asses.)

Name: D Location: Bufffalo, New York.

P.S. Why not send me your tips on Valentine's day BEFORE I go and do something stupid like buy this hot snob a box of chocolates who I've known for 2 days?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, this is just a guess, but maybe your challenges with women stem from the dark cloud around your SOUL!

...ahem.

Dude, I can tell that you're attempting to be funny here, but it also sounds to me like you've got some anger issues that might need professional attention.

By the way, the way to "get around" the "I'm waiting for marriage" defense is to stop acting like a bitter WUSSY.

If women consistently tell you "I'm waiting for marriage before I get physical", it can only mean one of two things:

1) You're shopping for women at the convent.

2) You're CAUSING the resistance you're getting.

Most guys don't realize this, but THEY are the ones who cause women to resist and make excuses.

Really.

And by the way, don't EVER say that you don't like me, but you like my TOOL again. That's not cool.

***QUESTION***

Dave- you da man! I just had a great experience that I feel merits an email to you. There's a very upscale restaurant/bar at which you can even buy cigars from their humidor. There's a piano player that plays jazzy tunes, and the place is pretty expensive, quiet, with the aura of big money patrons. (I love cigars and jazz, which is why I wanted to go there so badly.)

So, as I've always wanted to go there, and I finally mustered the courage to put on my best suit and tie (complete with cufflinks), so I'd look the part, despite the fact that I'm not rich like the other patrons. The women there are usually in groups, and they wreak of old money.

I sat alone and nursed a martini for about 30 minutes, while I scoped out the babes. I zeroed in on a tall, stunningly gorgeous blond. (I have a weakness for tall blonds.) I used the "Can I borrow her for a minute?" trick, and it worked like a charm! Then I teased her for having friends who would just let her go off with a total stranger. Then I mixed a lot of listening with a bit of c/f once she joined me at my table.

She told me she was hungry, so I told her I was getting hungry, too, and that I was about to become nasty if I didn't get something to eat soon. Then I said, "You're not very attractive, but since I do happen to like that dress on you, I'll be a sport and let you buy me dinner just this once." I couldn't believe I said that!!!! I was a little scared that she'd get pissed off and leave.

She ended up buying me an expensive dinner!!! Plus I got her phone number and email. I told her I do a lot of traveling (which I don't), but that I'd try to remember to call her next time I was in town. She then asked me for my number and email!

I am still in shock. This girl looks like a supermodel, plus she's rich! I really want to call her or email her, but I'm deliberately waiting, in order to give her the gift of missing me. And though it's only been a day sine it happened, I still think she'll contact me first. Should I wait for her to contact me or should I contact her?

J

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol... you're cracking me up over here.

While I don't recommend lying to women, I still find your story pretty funny.

Thanks for the story, and for affirming that these concepts we're talking about appeal universally to women... rich and poor alike.

***SUCCESS STORY***

David,

Your book and newsletters are great and I TRULY appreciate them, so I won't waste time telling you about that. I had a success story tonight that I just had to tell you about even though it's 4 in the morning, I'm just that pumped. I just left a fraternity party of mine, and there was this chick there that has been hanging around the house and with some of the other guys for a while (tall, thin, blonde hair, bout an 8.5). She was at the apartment we were partying at, and she sits down next to me no the couch. I introduce her and have a little small talk, and she makes a comment that one of the guys told her that I am a photographer (I work for a local newspaper full time) and that she wanted me to take some pictures of her so that she can get into modeling. I say, “So, you want to be a parts model? You have some sexy toes? (you're good Dave). She says, “What, you don't think I'm hot?” I just kind of shrug that one off. She acts shocked and I just go on. Basically, all night I busted on her, looks and everything, ach she would act shocked at my comments but I could tell she liked it (she's 5'11, so when I leave to go to the bathroom or whatever I tell her, “You're like 6'5, so if anybody takes my seat you put them in a choke hold.” Needless to say my seat never got taken when I told her). I couldn't believe it Dave, I would never have done this stuff before. She even made a comment that I was such an a**hole and none of the guys had ever treated her like this. I would just smile and say “I know.” She was eating it up. I even told her at one point to go get ME another beer. I was shocked when she said yes. Later I gave her a ride back to her dorm, and on the way home she was talking about how she needs to quit hitting on guys, and told me about a game she plays at parties with her friends where they bet if they can get a guy to make out with them in a certain amount of time. I tell her I wouldn't, I'm not that easy. She's like, “Not even me?” And I go on with the not easy part and she would at least have to buy me dinner. Long story short I get her number and she tells me to call her like 3 times. Right before she gets out of the car I say, “Can I kiss you?” She says yes, and I say, “Ok, I'll make sure to do that,”... She says oh right and leans in to kiss ME. I couldn't believe it Dave. I am on a high that no drug could ever give, and I have you to thank for it. This is probably too long, but I had to tell you.

Thanks a million.
K. in Texas

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, what else is there to say?

There's really nothing like experiencing this stuff in real life.

The first few times that you really apply the material and get women feeling ATTRACTION for you are amazing.

You wonder why the hell you didn't figure it all out before.

Great job. You're the man. Thanks for the story!

***COMMENT***

Hi Dave,

First off, not to sound like everyone else, but your stuff rocks!!! With that being said I'd like to offer a comment on J.M. from New Hampshire's predicament.

J.M. said "What's the best way to deal with a girl coming out and saying "oh, you're so cute/funny/etc..."? Should I ignore it and keep the c/f going? Should I address it in a cocky way?"

A couple of my favorite lines to use:

She: Your so cute.
Me: If you want cute buy a puppy.

She: Your so funny.
Me: Yeah, but looks aren't everything.

It works great to down play her comments. Make fun of yourself, but don't draw too much attention. Act disinterested in her comments and move on with the conversation. Let's her know you really are comfortable in your skin and she should really be closer to that skin!!

Hittin Heavy in Iowa, (with no sheep, LOL)
S.W.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Man, I don't even like sheep JOKES anymore.

You know, what I'm wondering is why they sell those blow-up sheep DOLLS in the adult stores. What's the deal? Are they for guys that don't even have enough game to pick up a SHEEP?

OK, whatever.

These are great comebacks.

I personally don't use very much humor that makes fun of myself early on... but your stuff is great.

Thanks for the comments.

***QUESTION***

Whats wrong with this letter. She works at Burger King and I handed it to her. She didnt talk to me anymore.

[The Letter]:

C,

I like you!

You have an electrifying gracious attitude at Burger King. You are leaving soon so lets chat on the phone. Don't judge me by my lack of conversation at the restaurant. I get a mental block at times. Let me know if your interested. OK....

Thank you

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What's wrong with this letter?

Well, other than the fact that it's the worst thing I've ever seen, nothing really.

"You have an electrifying and gracious attitude at Burger King..."?!

Say what?

Dude, why didn't you just say "I am a stalker, and every night when I go to sleep I can see you flipping Whoppers"?

You need the kind of help that only my ADVANCED DATING TECHNIQUES program can give. Do not pass go, do not collect your two hundred dollars. Go IMMEDIATELY here:

[products info link]

...before it's too late.

***QUESTION***

Hey David,

I love reading your newsletters every time you mail them out, and I am going to buy your e-book as soon as I get back from my vacation in New York. While I'm out there though, I'd like to know one thing. I like the newsletters you mail out that deal with getting a girls number for the first time. But I can't get myself to get started even to that point. Yes, I know I'm really afraid of rejection and that makes me make up excuses as to why I won't come up to a girl.

I completely feel the way you say that I should come up to a girl, talk to her for a minute, then say something like "I have to get back to work now," leave and then turn back and say "Hey, do you have e-mail?" But my question is this: How do I get a girls attention to begin with? In other words, what do I say to her so that she will want to talk to me for that minute you talk about? I don't feel like saying "Excuse me, Hi... my name is ..., do you work around here?" would be the best solution for this. Do you?

Thanks for the newsletters because they are slowly but surely making me grow some balls enough to get up and go talk to a girl!

CAT, San Francisco, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, it's funny...

You're asking a question that every guy in the world wants to know the answer to.

It's a simple answer... and it's a DAMN complex answer at the same time.

One of the KEYS to approaching women you don't know is being able to do it as comfortably and naturally as you call your mom.

If you get nervous, shaky, and freaked out the woman will pick up on this... and it will make HER nervous.

You can walk up to a woman and say "Hi, I don't have time to talk, but if you're single I'd really like to talk to you sometime... do you have email?"... and if you do it in a calm, comfortable way you can get a HIGH percentage of women to give you their info right there on the spot with no conversation needed.

On the other hand, if you're freaked out, nervous, and acting like you're all jacked up on speed while driving a getaway car, it doesn't matter WHAT you say.

Experts estimate that approximately 7% of your communication is the words you use, and 93% is your voice tone and body language.

In other words, the WORDS aren't very important at all.

So how do you get the voice tone and body language under control... and more importantly, your EMOTIONS?

Well, this is a simple and complex problem as well.

I have personally found that understanding exactly how and why women feel sexual attraction for men has changed the way I interact with women DRAMATICALLY.

If you DON'T understand this important process, you're just going to be "faking" it. If you DO understand it, you're going to be COMMUNICATING differently, and communicating with a different PART of the woman.

Keep educating yourself. My eBook and CD/DVD program will give you an amazing education in this area, and can help transform your fear and hesitation into ACTION.

***QUESTION***

David,

I've got to say that your emails have been a great help and your CD series is unstoppable! In both your emails and CD's you mention movie characters to study and model yourself after. Could write up a list of movies that you think are worth watching for the Cocky & Funny attitude.

Thanks Dave.

B. D.
Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Some of my favorite scenes:

-Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom... the after-dinner scene when they're in the bedroom.

-Top Gun... when he follows her into the bathroom.

-The newest James Bond flick... basically everything.

-Gone With The Wind... the scene right after Scarlet and Ashley are alone in that library type room toward the beginning... when she throws the vase and then Rhett Butler stands up from behind the couch and starts chatting with her.

-Also, listen to how Howard Stern and David Letterman mess with people CONSTANTLY. Great stuff.

***QUESTION***

Dear David,

Amazing job with your e-book "Double your Dating", I finally understand why most of the girls I've been with left me after less than a month. I had the natural humor, but it was mostly meant for goofing off instead of being cocky.

My question is about kissing. From my dates, in the second or third date, I would kiss the girl using your tips (e.g. the hair) but I am not really sure I am getting a good *job* into kissing a girl. Its not like I can leave a comment box after the date… do you have any suggestions on how to make a good and memorable kiss? You did say that a first kiss with a girl is pretty much like first impressions ;)

- From one of your many loyal fans

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a great question.

I'm going to share a little secret with you.

It's a secret that I talk about all the time... in my newsletters... my book... my seminars... my Advanced Program.

The secret is ANTICIPATION.

Anticipation is such an important concept when it comes to "getting physical" with a woman.

I believe that it's important to incorporate it into every part of your interactions with a woman... really.

Now, if you really don't know how to kiss a woman, then I have a recommendation:

START SLOW, THEN MIRROR WHAT SHE DOES.

Here's how to mix this strategy with ANTICIPATION.

Let's say that you decide it's time to kiss her. You use the "Kiss Test", and she's enjoying it... so you lean over to kiss her.

Just as you start to kiss her... when you first feel your lips touching hers... stop right there. Brush your lips back and forth on hers a little bit... then pull away without actually kissing her.

Then smile at her.

You'll probably be sitting there thinking "Why the hell didn't I just kiss her?"

She'll probably be sitting there tingling all over, and feeling like she wants to jump on you.

Next, lean back. Talk a little more.

A few minutes later, touch her hair again.

Then lean over to kiss her again. This time, go VERY slowly... gently press your lips against hers. Hold them there for a moment, and feel how she responds.

If she kisses you the same way, then just stop, lean back, and relax again for a few minutes.

The next time you kiss her, open your mouth just a little bit, and see if she does the same.

Do this a couple of times.

At some point, she will probably start "escalating" the kisses, because the anticipation is just too much for her.

At this point, stop her. Push her away, and smile.

MORE ANTICIPATION.

Just keep mirroring how she's kissing you as things get more and more intense. This is a great way to "learn" how to kiss... and she'll enjoy it, because you'll be doing exactly what she likes!

...and that about wraps it up.

By the way, I am getting some KILLER letters from guys who have listened to my new Advanced Series who are TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY by what they're learning. I put a lot of time, effort, and energy to create this series, and as far as I'm concerned you won't find ANYTHING like it in the entire world. And you can bet your last pickup line that I've looked. Make sure you check out the samples when you visit:

[products info link]

...and I also recommend my eBook "Double Your Dating". If you're just getting started with these materials and you'd like to learn the basics, that's the place to start:

[ebook download link]

Of course, both come with a 100% no-hassle, no-questions-asked guarantee... if you're not THRILLED with your investment, just email and you'll get a refund. I have put a lot of effort into creating tools that will help you meet more women, and I stand behind them 100%.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!