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"Mind Tricks For Attracting And Meeting Women" - November 6, 2004

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“Mind Tricks For Attracting And Meeting Women” - November 6, 2004

In this newsletter we're going to deal with possibly the BIGGEST problem guys run into with women.

I'd like to talk a bit about how we program ourselves and become programmed when it comes to dealing with women... as well as how to overcome the negative programming that we often don't even recognize within ourselves.

Let me as you a few questions. Take a moment to think about the answers... maybe even write them down.

1) When it comes to women, do you have an overall "positive" outlook towards your success? Do you believe that there is "abundance" when it comes to women, and that you can go out at any time and get a date if you want to? Why or why not?

2) Do you have any negative beliefs or programming when it comes to the idea of APPROACHING women you'd like to meet or asking women out on dates? Do you believe that you're going to be intruding or annoying a woman if you approach her? Do you believe that a woman will most likely accept or reject a date request from you?

3) Have you CHOSEN the beliefs and attitudes that you have towards women, or have they been "chosen for you" by others, situations, programming, TV, the media, etc.?

4) Would you like to change some of the attitudes and beliefs that you hold in your mind? If so, which ones and what would you like to change them to?

If you're like most guys I know who would like to improve their success with women, then you probably have one or two "negative programs" in your unconscious mind (if you're like I used to be before I learned the things I know now, then you might have A LOT of them).

I can remember when I used to believe that women would be VERY offended or alarmed if I tried to strike up an unexpected conversation with them...

I can remember feeling that if a woman rejected me in front of other people that I WOULD DIE of embarrassment.

I can remember thinking "Why would a woman find ME attractive?" and not believing that the truly desirable, beautiful women out there just wouldn't find a guy like me interesting or attractive because I wasn't rich, tall, famous, buff, or of royal descent.

And as a matter of fact, even though I've spent literally YEARS reprogramming myself and learning as much as I could about women and attraction, I still know that somewhere deep in my unconscious mind that this old programming exists. Of course, it doesn't affect my behavior the way it used to, but my point is that once you program yourself or open yourself to programming from others and from our modern culture, it's sometimes a challenge to overcome that programming and go on to be successful.

Let me give you a little Tough Love:

NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT WITH WOMEN. AND NO ONE CARES WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL.

Really.

If you learn how to meet and date the kinds of women that you've always wanted, it won't matter to anyone. Your friends won't think you're any cooler (well, maybe a little), your mom won't stop nagging you, your boss won't pay you more money, and you won't lose that extra 10 pounds that you've needed to lose for the past 10 years.

It just doesn't matter. No one cares.

THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES IS YOU.

And the only one that's going to be able to do anything about this programming that we're talking about is YOU.

Your buddies aren't going to come over tomorrow night and say "Hey, you know, I've been thinking about it. You really need to do something about your unconscious programming in the area of women and dating, and I'd like to help you."

Your mom isn't going to call you up and say "You know, dear, I've been thinking about it, and I really put some bad ideas in your mind about how to treat women... I'd like to address those things in this call and help you become the mac daddy you've always wanted to be."

Nope.

You're not going to get a call from the guys that run the ads that say "Show her that you love her by spending five grand on a pair of diamond earrings" to tell you that the ads really aren't true, and that no amount of diamonds will help you meet women if you're programmed to act like a WUSSY.

It just ain't gonna happen that way.

If you want to do something about your programming and your success, you're going to have to DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

Here, let me say that again... just in case you didn't get it...

YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

And what's the best way to do it yourself?

This is a fantastic question...

There are a lot of ways to get going, but I have a few favorites... and since we only have a little time together in this newsletter, I'll get right to the point...

1) Look around and pay careful attention to what's REALLY going on. Just like a comedian looks at the fine details and tells stories about things that we never see... but are right there in front of us, you need to look closer.

Here's a little story.

I was in Vegas awhile back for a visit. I hadn't been to Vegas in about 4 years, so everything seemed new to me... there were about 5 huge new hotels that had just opened, and I spent the day walking around and just seeing the sights.

As I walked around, I looked at the people... and especially at the couples. I'm not sure if it was because I was looking at all of the new sights or what, but for some reason I was really noticing a lot of little details... and I was paying special attention to the couples that were strolling around on the strip.

It's always amazing to me how attractive women will be with guys of all shapes, sizes, and ages...

When you really look around and pay attention to what's actually going on, you'll be amazed.

And you don't have to be in Vegas to see this phenomenon yourself. Just go out on a Friday night and look around.

Now, before you say "Yea, but if you're rich or handsome or tall you'll get more chicks" I will acknowledge that these things can provide certain advantages, but they're not NEAR the level of advantage that WOMEN get from being physically attractive... not even close, actually.

The more I pay attention, learn, and try things, the more I realize that women respond to PERSONALITY far more than they respond to LOOKS.

I've even made it a point to ask guys who are tall, handsome, etc. if they believe that their success with women comes from those things. Almost universally they tell me that their ATTITUDES and SKILLS are far more important than their looks.

I've also met a lot of tall, good-looking guys at my seminars who have INCREDIBLE problems meeting women. The more experience I have with this, the more I realize just how little LOOKS has to do with the equation.

You've probably read some of these newsletters where good- looking guys write in and say "I'm buff, good looking, and I have women talking to me all the time, but I can't get any dates... they only like me as a friend."

So part of this step is for you to take a day or so and go out in public... to a place that is PACKED with people, and look around at the couples. Look with your own two eyes and see all of the attractive women that are with guys who are NOT what you would consider to be "physically attractive."

You need to see with your own eyes what's going on in the REAL world.

This is a big step in changing some of your programming.

2) Watch some guys who are successful with women.

One of the best things I've ever done is make friends with some REALLY SUCCESSFUL guys (I'm talking about success with women here). As a matter of fact, most of the techniques that I've learned, developed, and write about originally started out as something I got from a friend by watching them interact with women.

When you watch guys who know how to make women feel that magical emotion called "ATTRACTION", you'll start to see the patterns in their behavior, and the patterns in the responses from women.

Nothing can replace watching a guy walk up to a woman, start talking to her, and walk away 5 minutes later with her number.

So make some new friends if you have to. Just do what it takes to watch some guys interact with women. It's a big one.

( If you're at a point in your life where you're too busy with work, etc. to get out and meet guys who are successful with women, then do yourself a favor and subscribe to my monthly CD interview series... that will help a LOT. It's here: [products info link] )

3) Stop looking for a "magic pill". Realize that you're going to have to CONSTANTLY learn and improve.

I know, I know. You'd like to take a pill and have this whole part of your life handled.

You'd like a computer chip implanted in your brain that will change you into a chick-magnet.

Well, until these things exist, you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way... you're going to have to actually DO SOMETHING.

At first, it might seem a little uncomfortable. You might feel weird going out to a bar alone just to look at the people.

But don't worry, no one will care (remember what I said earlier... nobody cares whether or not you're successful, only you do).

The more you improve, the more you'll WANT to improve, and the easier it will become.

Read books, try things, experiment. Keep a journal, write down what works and what doesn't, think about the things you'd like to change and write them down.

JUST KEEP IMPROVING A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.

If you do these things, you'll begin to REPROGRAM YOURSELF and change your negative programming into POSTIVE programming and success.

Of course, the best place to start is with some of the materials that I've put together...

It took me years of trial and error to really figure out what works with women.

Repeat: It took me YEARS.

Years of trial and error.

I'm talking about trying out everything you can imagine...and having MOST of it not work.

Every time I found something that DID work, I took the idea, refined it, and wrote it down.

After a few years of doing this, I put all of my best ideas into a book... that book is called "Double Your Dating»", and if you want to get a copy, you can go and DOWNLOAD it right now... and read it in "eBook" format on your computer. If you get it now, you can be reading it in a few minutes. You can go and get it here:

[ebook download link]

Now, if you REALLY want to take your success with women to the next level FAST, you need to ALSO get my CD/DVD Advanced Dating Techniques program.

This takes the concepts in my eBook, and goes MUCH deeper with them. I also spend several hours teaching the theories and concepts BEHIND the techniques, so you can work to change the most IMPORTANT area that we've just discussed in this newsletter: YOUR BELIEFS.

The best parts:

I'll send it to you to try at MY risk. You don't have to pay until AFTER you've checked it out and tried it for a month.

I'll send it to you in a plain package, so your mom won't know what's in it.

I'll guarantee that it will help you get more dates starting IMMEDIATELY. I put my money where my mouth is.

Go get it here:

[products info link]

And by the way, make sure and forward this email to a friend and encourage them to sign up for my free newsletter. They'll appreciate it, and I'll appreciate it.

I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS QUESTION & ANSWER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a David's answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David's newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David's book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.

The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo.  All Rights Reserved.  By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.  All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity.  By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings.  Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.

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