“Q&A: What To Say To Women, How To Tease Them” - November 15, 2004

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

You are the Man! It took me about a month of reading and re-reading your book. I am (was) very shy. I really think it was more a lack of self confidence than shy. I think I was using the word shy because I didn't want to admit or didn't understand that it was a lack of self confidence. I set a target date of when I was going to let my inhibitions go and put my (your) plan to work. I got more email addresses and phone numbers in 3 hours than I got in 3 years. Just felt compelled to write and say Thanks.

Hope to see you in NY
E.M. in Va.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I love letters like this one. Good for you!

It sounds to me like the process of getting this area of your life handled has you pretty excited. Let it spill over into the other areas of your life.

Great job!

***COMMENT FROM WOMAN***

Dear David,

Remember the woman that had a friend that wanted to slap the sh** out of you - you know, the crack pipe chick? That woman was right about one thing - someone needs to get slapped.

She does and so do all of her milk toast, clueless and probably dog-ugly friends! How in the world did she get "lesbian" twisted into all of that? I read the e-mail for crying out loud, and it sounds to me like this girl's in a slump that makes the Devil Rays look like World Series contenders.

Injure a woman's delicate psyche? Give me a break. I hope you guys out there don't believe a word of this girl's whiny crap. If your girlfriends agree with her, I hope you don't mind turning squishy and you better find a good recipe for strawberry daiquiris and start planning for a life filled with tupperware parties and purse shopping.

Let me set all of you guys straight who might still possibly be on the fence at this point. Get David's book. I haven't read it yet - I'm still crackin' up over the newsletter. I'm an attractive woman architect who works in a man's world and would have it no other way! I'm athletic, but still feminine. I'm pretty conservative and don't cuss (anymore) so I'm proof that it's not just the rough women that get turned on by the sport of a challenging male. David's right - I have a lot of male friends and most of them want to be more than friends. I could never put my finger on it before I started reading David's newsletters - they were nice and I've certainly dated guys that weren't nearly as good looking as them, but it's clear to me now. My guy friends are wusses. Cocky + funny = SEXY! Don't ask me why, just do it. I wish more of you would.

By the way, David, the chicks out here that read (and appreciate) your newsletter, need a formula, too.

Sincerely,

ks in Kansas City

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

I was just thinking to myself:

"You know, it sure would be great to meet an athletic, feminine woman with a good job... maybe an architect or something."

I don't know about the conservative, no cussing thing... maybe I could adapt.

But to my credit, I'm NOT squishy, I have NO IDEA how to make a strawberry daiquiri, and I hate purse shopping. I do, however like to host an occasional tupperware party.

Think about it and get back to me.

Oh, back to your comments...

Thank you for writing in and providing another perspective. I wish that more women would be as open and honest about what attracts them.

I personally think that women like you who have their lives together are too busy ENJOYING life to take the time out to teach the mass of WUSS-BAG men out there how to stop with the purse shopping and tupperware.

Thanks again for your email... I love sharp, honest women.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hey, I've been receiving your emails for awhile, and have been thinking, does this stuff work on guys as well? I'm an attractive 18 yr old, and I don't often have problems attracting males attention, but that's about it. I don't often get approached in clubs/bars, just looked at from afar. Do guys think woman are promiscuous etc if they make the first move? I mean does that kind of confidence in a woman scare men off? A little help would be most appreciated!

Ta!

JD
New Zealand

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, now I've got attractive 18 year old women who are trying to figure out how to get men to talk to them.

IS ANYONE OUT THERE LISTENING?

I've actually met MANY women who say that they either aren't approached often, or when they are it's the same old lame, boring stuff time after time...

"Can I take you out sometime?"

"So you probably have a boyfriend, right?"

Or guys just watch with the "I wish I wasn't such a total and complete WUSSY because you're very attractive and I'd give one of my front teeth in exchange for just one chance to talk to you" look.

Ugh.

In any event, YES, this stuff works on guys. In fact, it works on just about everyone. Damn shame you even need to ask.

***QUESTION***

Hi David!

I just broke with my wife of six years. So I´m starting the game again. I went to a club this past weekend and saw a very nice looking girl. She was looking at me a lot. So I waited around ten minutes and then approach and asked her, "Are you shy or something?" She said, Why? And I told her "Because I've been standing here for around ten minutes and you still haven't said hi to me." As you can imagine she burst laughing. So I said, Hey, I'm glad you know how to laugh. She said, So, is this the way you go out meeting girls. I said, Nah, it's that every time I go to some place that have girls present they all seem to get very shy around me, since I'm such a great looking, sexy man, AS you can see. (Said with a wink).

She kind of blush and smile. We talk for around ten minutes and I then said, Well, let me see if I can find my friends around here, It was a pleasure talking to you. When I was leaving I did your e-mail close and it ran smoothly. She put her phone number too and a note that said, "No, I'm not shy, call me soon, C."

E.Q. From Puerto Rico

PS. In a recent mailbag there was a guy who used the c&f routine with his ex wife as practice and it worked to get her interested in him again. I was wondering what stuff he told her and how he did it. I'm very interested to know his technique to see if I can get my ex wife interested in me again.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, I LOVE the story. That's pure gold.

If you're reading this right now and you want a KILLER example of Cocky and Funny, read this about 25 times.

As for your ex, I don't know what the specifics were, but I will tell you this much:

After you've been in a relationship with someone and acted like a WUSSY for many years, it makes a HUGE impression when you stop it and start busting balls.

You know the formula, now think up some techniques.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave, You're going to luv this one....bought your book and like a kid in a candy store was eager to prove it out....

I'm on this date with a 9/10 who selected this outside Italian Cafe and insisted that it was her turn to pay. Well, I started busted on her from the time i sat down. I enjoyed myself immensely as i had NO expectations and therefore could not be disappointed. I slipped my AMEX card to the waiter without her noticing and when the eqchay comes, she looks at me and says: It was my turn to pay....if you don't let me pay ...I'm not going out with you anymore (serious look).

My response: (serious look back) If i let you pay what do i get in return?

Her Response: We're going back to your car and I'm going to give you a BJ like you've never had and you don't even have to worry about making a mess cause i swallow.

My Response: (in my mind...holy sh** this stuff really works...well lets turn it up a little..i'm enjoying this..i'm a natural teaser) No, lets be friends first...(inside hahaha ...I could tell i was messing her up real good)

Her Response: Nothing (i believe she was in shock)

My response: Now If you say please, i'll let you pay.....

Her Response: Please...Please... (so i let her pay)

Next Day: I receive an email from her saying that she likes me even more than ever before. Talk about amplifying the attraction and anticipation.....I'll do her when i decide....hehehe...for now we're friends.....

Thanks Good Buddy

K

Toronto, Canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, I'd say that you're starting to get it.

If you keep this up, you're going to have this poor woman camping outside your door!

It's all about amplifying the attraction and the anticipation, and I'm glad you understand what the heck that means.

This is another stellar example of Cocky and Funny in action... combined with some other more advanced techniques. Nice.

***QUESTION***

Dave-

Your material does a great job bringing to the masses what are innate qualities in the naturally-successful-with-women types. Your book is almost a study of human behavior, like something Dale Carnegie would write (I doubt he was as successful with women though). Anyway, I have a problem with one half of the magic formula, the 'cocky' part. I've always had success with deadpan-style humor, with no facial expression whatsoever, and most of the time people can't tell if I'm being funny or not based on my expression. This is where I hit my problem: if I make a cocky/funny type comment, I'm afraid I'll come off as arrogant if I don't give a smile or something. But in your book it says something along the lines of things being funnier if it's difficult to tell if you're joking. So my question is: Is it okay to smile while being cocky and funny and busting on girls? Or should I keep a straight face all the time? I'm not sure if this email makes any sense, but I think you'll be able to figure it out. Great stuff, and hurry up with the next book!

BW

Seattle

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny, you must give up your fear of coming across as overly arrogant. The secret lies within the FUNNY ingredient of the formula.

A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you haven't seen him, go search online and find his Star Wars video clip. You'll laugh until you cry...

Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece.

You'll notice that Triumph is RUTHLESS with the sarcastic comments... but THEY'RE ALL FUNNY.

And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, he might throw in an "I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he does do it on occasion.

If you feel like your comment might have been taken too seriously, try a "sly smile". It's a combination of squinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips, and doing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch.

In any event, you need to get over your fears, and get out there and do it! You'll find the balance.

***QUESTION***

David:

I have been using the techniques like C&F and have had a huge success. Honest to God, i now have several girls on the ropes, and i have the luxury of choosing my choice. It is wonderful. You are a genius. (i figured your ego needed a little boost)

Now i have a situation on my hands. There is a new girl at my workplace, who is very attractive and funny. We get along great. The other day i told her about a concert that i am going to and she begged me, not just begged but pleaded with me to get her a ticket. Then within the next 5 minutes she was asking me for my number and email address. That is right asking me. I made a smart remark along the lines of "I've only been training you for 3 days and you are already hitting on me, damn that has to be a new record...(dramatic pause) Most girls only take a couple of minutes to see my un-resistable charm." I realize it isn't the greatest line ever but it worked. She was all over it. And retorted with "I always was the stubborn one." So now she is emailing me, and calling me and always talking to me and flirting with me at work. So far so good, here is where the problem kicks in. The other night i am walking out from work and locking the building and she looks over rolls her eyes, and sighs that her boyfriend is here to pick her up. the next day she came to work and was telling me that she and her boyfriend are going to be breaking up soon and she doesn't know when. What do i do? I mean to me all the signs are there, how do i field this one? Do i even DARE field this one? HELP

n.s ND

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, two rules of thumb:

1. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

2. Avoid women who are involved.

Why? Because it's usually just plain short-sighted to do these things.

Some boyfriends are jealous and crazy, and if a workplace romance goes bad (which they usually do), then it can create all kinds of weird vibes. Trust me.

I have to comment, though... you're technique and flirting is FANTASTIC. You're really onto something with this line of humor. I love it.

***QUESTION***

I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7 yrs. Although I have been told many times that I am an attractive guy I have had one date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am also overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs. I am convinced that women these days are not attracted to big guys like myself. I am also one of those "nice guys". Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that I have been reading about would really work for a guy like me? I am willing to try anything at this point

D.E.
Scranton (Pa.)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, I think it would DEFINITELY work for you. In fact, I think it will work for anyone who applies themselves and figures it out.

We each have our own particular situation in life. No two are the same.

Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guys are older and gray, some are overweight, some are bald, and some are inexperienced.

We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particular challenges in life.

This is one of the great things about being alive. We get a particular hand dealt to us, and it's one of the great joys in life to figure out how to best play it.

Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think that you're unhappy with your weight. In other words, it sounds to me like you've got MENTAL limitations and self-image issues... so simple techniques alone probably aren't going to solve your whole problem.

I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while at the SAME TIME practicing the techniques you've learned here with women, the COMBINATION will yield better results.

When you improve two or more areas of your life at the same time, you'll find that you often have far better than just twice the results. But try to solve problems at the root, and not just at the branch level alone.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave,

Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that combines two points you've made in the past:

1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting on her verbally while your actions are gentlemanly) 2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink

So I use the hotties at work as target practice, honing my game. BUT - I tone it down a bit and always do really nice things for them, like if they need someone to carry a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive enough for THEM to date (keeping me out of trouble at work), but PERFECT for a friend of theirs. Hotties hang with hotties, and so far I've been set up with three fiiiiiine young ladies this way (note: it helps to work for a big company so you have a good selection and distance between parties). Now, the friend has heard that I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it - then WHAM! I bust out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again, contrast added to c+f. (As one said, "I heard you were kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really are!" For the record, I'm slightly above average.) So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring major action on date one. I'm keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand work connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part of the fun. I let NO ONE get too close too soon, and things continue hot 'n' heavy at MY pace, and everyone's happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but it's sure worked for me. You rock!!!

M.B.
Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great points.

Attractive women know other attractive women.

And practicing on women at work is great! You can also practice on waitresses that work at restaurants you frequent, hostesses/receptionists at places you go often, etc.

Women LOVE to have fun, chemically-charged interactions with men... even if it's not leading to anything. So do practice whenever you can.

***QUESTION***

Okay....i bought the book, i read it and re-read it and re-read it. I had always been funny but a lot had been self-deprecating or witticisms that were hysterical but required women to think and make the leap from A to B. So, based on your book, I changed my ways. I added "C" to my "F". Now, I'm a Lindy Hop Swing dancer. I dance at the clubs 4 times a week. go to workshops. I own instructional tapes. I listen to swing music constantly. I even dream I'm dancing sometimes. So, when I go to a club i'm not just going to meet women but also because i love dancing Lindy Hop. IT WORKS!!!

Before I ask my question, here's my success story. After reading all the e-mails over and over and the book over and over, i made it a point to be C&F even when i'm not interested. One girl I asked to dance at a club said she had to leave but "do you come here often?" she asked. I told her that we only knew each other for a few minutes and ALREADY she was trying to pick me up. I didn't mind, i said, but she should use a more original line. Another girl I danced with messed up as she was dancing and her hand touched my ass by mistake. I spent the rest of the dance accusing her of trying to grab my ass because she liked it. (her e-mail i got but i messed up the next bridge). But the clincher in my mind that C&F works is this: I take a 3-hour dance class once a week and it usually has the same people. One is this cute 19-year old. She's not my type and i'm not interested, but i still employ C&F whenever i see her, for practice. Well, this week out of the blue she says "I was talking to [Bob] about you the other day." Oh yeah? what did you say? i ask "I told him I like you because you're a smart-ass." My jaw practically dropped. I maintained composure while on the inside i was screaming "HOLY SH**!! THIS STUFF WORKS". "smart-ass" was obviously "C&F". So, thank you and i plan to continue using this. MY QUESTION!! So, here's the thing. Dancing this much is a blessing and a curse. A lot of women want to dance with me, but they ONLY want to dance (i've gotten quite good). Plus, i'm into the dancing so i'll dance with several different women a night, and most likely each women multiple times. How do I use C&F in these situations when A) Unless it's a slow song, you don't really have the opp to talk DURING the dance B) If I get an e-mail/number, i'm still gonna be at the club the rest of the night. Do I ask her to dance again? or do i ignore her? What if she asks ME to dance again? C) If I ignore her, i'm gonna see her as i walk around looking for dance partners throughout the night, do i say anything as we pass by? do i even smile at her? D) Can I use C&F on multiple women throughout the night and get more than one e-mail or is that a bad idea? If dancing were a means to an end for me, it might be easier, but i'm really into this. My job is just a means for me to be able to go dancing (that's how into it i am). I know that I've got a potential gold mine at my feet since I dance. I've heard that "if you can dance you can get any woman you want." Well, I couldn't, but i'm only now starting to see how i can thanks to C&F. But it's only a beginning. Please help!!

G.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You've gone over your one question limit, but I'm going to give you a great idea anyway.

First off, making jokes about a woman trying to pick you up, not being that easy, being offended that she used such a cheap line, etc. is GREAT stuff.

Here's the idea:

If I were you, I'd learn how to be Cocky and Funny WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. If you're a great dancer, then I'm SURE you can come up with 100 ways.

Maybe you could notice mistakes that a girl is making, then imitate them over and over while keeping a look on your face of "Look at how cool I am".

Maybe you could incorporate some bizarre dance steps into a dance, then insinuate that she's dancing that way.

One thing I like to do is MIRROR a woman, then EXAGGERATE some part of what she's doing.

If she has good posture, I might sit up EXTRA straight and say "You're slumping".

Cocky and Funny isn't just a verbal thing.

Ohhh... now I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

By the way, if you're reading this right now and you've got some good examples of non-verbal Cocky and Funny, write me an email. Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

***QUESTION***

Dave,

Your insight into women and how to attract them is dead-on. Being cocky and funny works. Upon adopting your approach, my dating life improved dramatically: I went from dating one woman last year to dating 10 women in three months at the beginning of this year.

While dating is fun, like most guys, I eventually find one that I like and want to pursue it further, i.e. become more serious. The problem I've discovered is that a lot of women in the age group I date (27-33) are resistant to this due to the residual pain they carry with them (the proverbial "baggage") from previous failed relationships or marriages. Rather than take a risk by pursuing a relationship, they prevent it from progressing any further to avoid any emotional pain that might result if it fails.

Is this a common problem men my age (late '20s, early '30s) experience (and should continue to expect to experience in the dating world), or am I just being a wuss and need to get over it by dating younger women with less baggage? Is there a way to employ the C&F routine to MAKE these women overcome their indecision and want to be with you?

LOL,

B

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, as much as I avoid "Relationship" questions, I just have to comment on this one.

First of all, I believe that MOST guys would prefer to be in a relationship with a great woman (over being single).

The problem is that amazing women are as rare as amazing men...

If you REALLY want to make a women become attached to you, then you might want to try a paradoxical move...

Stop looking for a relationship.

If you communicate that you want a relationship, the natural response is going to be for a woman to play Hard To Get.

If YOU do the playing of the Hard To Get, and you HOLD OFF on showing the "relationship" level of interest, you'll find that the woman will pursue the relationship with YOU.

Think about it.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I like your newsletter and I really enjoyed your books. I have one problem though. My sister, who is a socialite and seems to have a ton of really attractive friends, has this one friend. She's one of my sister's best friends and is my age. The woman is incredible...definitely a 9 or 10. She's got this really sweet personality, but also goofy at the same time. I know she's dated pretty boy models and NHL hockey players before, but I know she's not too superficial inside, since she broke things off with them after she was unhappy. So even though I'm probably a 6 or 7, I think I may have a shot, as I've heard she's recently single. Anyway, my problem is that I have absolutely nothing I can bust on her about. I don't know her well enough to rag on those Ex bfs or anything. Most of our conversations revolve around our mutual admiration for my cat.... So any past encounters we've had have been in 'wuss' mode. What would be your approach to this situation?

Thanks,

C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Say what?

You have "absolutely nothing" you can bust on her about?

You really need to get a couple of books on comedy, my man.

What color hair does she have? If it's blonde, learn some blonde jokes... if it's brunette, learn some brunette jokes.

Is she tall? Bust on her height.

Is she short? Bust on her vertically challenged-ness.

And by the way, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A CAT?

Don't even get me started on the jokes you can make about her being more interested in the pussy than in you. I could write a book of lesbian jokes based on your one-paragraph email alone... and I've never even met this girl myself.

Are you starting to get the picture?

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I bought your book and I have been able to successfully use your method.

Last knight I picked up this girl at a lounge by accusing her of being a liar. I struck up a conversation and started doing the small talk thing (no wuss topics). I then ask her about her age, she leaned over and whispered in my ear that she was 20 years old. I heard her loud and clear. But when she turned her attention elsewhere I ask one of her friends that she was with (who was also very hot) If the girl I was speaking to was really 26 years old, (all at the same time giving of the impression that I wasn't really convinced) Surprised she turned to her friend saying "You told him you're 26?". I then of course accused lying so that she could have a better chance of hooking up with me. I then proceed to tell her how often girls do this to me and how she would have a much better chance with me by simply being herself. The boys at this point were cracking up. This was all done in good fun and in a FUNNY COCKY way, the girls knew I was joking but at the same time they were not 100% sure, this really played on their curiosity. My Question, Should I make eye contact with a girl before talking to her or should I just make her feel like she doesn't exist first and then proceed to hitting on her? Also is it bad to stand at the bar and check out the women? Does this make you seem needy? In other words what's the best way of working the room before I start to talk.

thanks. CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Another masterpiece of Cocky and Funny. This is great... I can feel more and more guys are getting it.

And about eye contact.

Eye contact is VERY powerful.

I recommend that if you make eye contact with a woman that you keep it until SHE looks away. This is a great exercise, by the way. Just go out and make eye contact with as many women as you can... and keep it until they look away.

If you're already talking to a woman, you're going to have to work with the situation.

In some situations, you're going to want to be aloof, and in some you're going to want to be intense.

Just remember not to look away because you're nervous or afraid. Women can detect weakness very quickly, and they turn off like a light switch when they do.

If you want to "check out women", just make sure you don't look like a looser that has no life and is planning to use the images you're taking in for future solo fantasy role play.

Don't look desperate.

Women are turned off by guys who have that "I'm not worthy" look... and they're turned ON by guys who have that "You are interesting to me, but not so much so that I'd give blood just to talk to you" look.

***QUESTION***

OK, Dave, what's wrong? Why won't you put my letters in your mailbag? I NEED HELP!!!! But, yet, you refuse to help me! Your stuff makes sense, yet it seems impossible to use. And so, I get all depressed because what you say makes me feel like a loser. I have zero confidence in myself and I can't make anyone laugh. I am 20 years old. I have never had a real girlfriend. I don't have any friends. My 5 guys I am forced to live with are not friends (but we get along fine). They all get girls, but won't help me. They all make me feel like a complete loser indirectly. Just like you do. Oh, using C&F is totally unnatural as hell for me, and I could never use it enough to be very successful. But, I also realize being the nice guy and buying stuff for women is also unnatural for me. I NEVER flirt. I NEVER compliment women for any reason whatsoever. I NEVER buy women gifts. I do, however, pay for women on dates (which I haven't been on any is 18 months). I can't make myself talk to girls unless I have a reason other than because I wanna date them. I can't ask women out on dates. I am convinced I will be rejected, so I don't even try. Even when I do talk to women, I can't make it move on to the next level. Women never even become my friends! They never move beyond acquaintance level. It just offends me VERY much that you won't even attempt to give ME personal advice!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I'm going to use my psychic powers to guess the correct spelling of your name.

Keep in mind, I don't even know your name, so getting the spelling correct could be considered to be basically impossible.

Oh, I'm getting something...

W...

U...

S...

S...

Y...

Wow, what an unusual name. I don't recall ever meeting a guy with that name before.

Oh, wait a minute... maybe I HAVE met a guy or two with that name.

Hey, in fact, I've met a LOT of guys with names like yours.

OK, enough of the obvious. Let's talk action.

You really need to get over your victim mentality, man. Read some self-help books, do some visualization and affirmation exercises... maybe go to a seminar or ten.

Before you're going to have ANY success with women, you're going to need to overcome your negative view of reality and life.

Women HATE all of the qualities you're demonstrating right now. Qualities like:

-Negativity
-Pessimism
-Whiny-ness
-Victim Minded

Get the picture?

I'm giving you some tough love here, but you sound like you really need it. Women (and people in general) don't want to help those who whine and complain. Start working on yourself, and keep going until you begin to find techniques that make you feel more secure, stable and self-sufficient.

It's probably going to take a pretty big commitment, but I believe that anyone can get to the next level if they really want to.

***COMMENT***

Dear Dave:

I've noticed a lot of emails lately (and I hear this from my friends all the time): "This stuff is great, and it attracts women, but when do you just get to be yourself?" You reply to these emails something like this: "Never. Make the C&F changes permanent." My contribution is an analogy that might help the guys who resist this advice see the error of your ways:

Let's say that you meet a beautiful, intelligent, and above all, SEXY woman. You start going out with her and loving it. Suddenly, though, as she gets comfortable with the relationship, she stops dressing sexy and wears only jogging outfits. She stops working and starts over-eating; soon she's fat. To top this off, she doesn't feel the need to "impress" you anymore and frankly talks about her health problems, etc. (her conversations begin to get annoying). She even farts and belches around you.

The point of this is, the things that were attracting you to her all stopped as she got comfortable with the relationship. She feels so "comfortable" that she doesn't feel the need to exert any effort in keeping you attracted.

See the parallel? It's obvious to me, but let me explain for the benefit of the thick-headed: When you stop doing the things that attracted her to you, you are exactly like the hottie that lets herself go. The degree to which you "let yourself go" will determine whether or not she dumps you or starts cheating on you.

Hope this helps.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, I think I'm going to hire all the guys who wrote in this week and just let them write these newsletters from now on.

What do you say?

Your analogy is great. I wish I would have said that.

***QUESTION

Dave,

First, I have purchased your "double your dating^»" from your website. Your book and extra's have enriched my life.

I had a beautiful woman sit down next to me on the train on my ride into work. I could feel she was interested but I was scared. I didn't want to make an obvious come on with so many people around. So I did nothing and missed an opportunity to meet an ultra beautiful woman. How can I prevent this from happening in the future? How can I discreetly approach a woman in this situation? I'm not interested in becoming comic entertainment for the morning rush crowd.

G

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Say what?

You didn't want to make an "obvious come on with other people around"?

What, did you want to become her friend and shopping buddy, then two years later spring an "I love you" on her in the middle of the girdle aisle at Macy's?

Or did you miss the part where I said in Double Your Dating^» not to hide the fact that you're interested?

You really need to get over this idea that making it obvious that you're not just interested in "friendship" isn't considered bad by women... and that if you try to hide it, you're only shooting yourself in the foot.

And by the way, if you're "not in the mood" to make a woman laugh in front of the morning crowd, then what are you going to do... charm her with your boring, un-funny creativity?

Think about what you're asking me.

You need to get over what other people think, and get into making things happen regardless of who's watching or listening.

This alone is a trait that creates ATTRACTION.

Of course, if you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be "discreet" about it, you could hand her a note that says "I was going to say some funny stuff, but I didn't want anyone to think that I was picking up on you. If you couldn't tell, I'm kind of a Wuss, but don't let that stop you from calling me later."

In short, the way to prevent this in the future is to BE READY for the situation. Plan out what you're going to do NEXT TIME, and be totally ready when it happens. If you mentally prepare for the 10 most common situations that you find yourself in, you'll DRAMATICALLY increase your success.

***QUESTION***

Hey dave I really enjoyed reading your e-book. It taught me so much more than all your newsletters have. To every one reading this right now buy the book it's the best $40 I have ever spent I would even have paid up to $200 for it im serious. I went to the beach the next day after reading your book and used your techniques, but I am kind of shy but I figured out how to have women approach you... give up. Volley ball. It's so awesome the chicks will just approach you and ask to play, and you have an excuse not to wear a shirt show off your body and not make it look like your showing off. Me being only 5'2 with a muscular built. I will always say "I'm prejudice of the fact that your taller than me...but I can accept you for who you are" awesome line for all you short guys. I do have a question though I can't seem to figure out a cocky funny line if A girl tell you that you have a big/nice muscles. Also I can't come out with any thing to say while playing volley ball. Most of what I say comes off as arrogant. For example if she would miss I would say "what the hell was that" yes I know smooth lines. I would appreciate your help on this one I think other guys would to. I cant wait until your next book and seminar tapes come out.

your friend
CL - maine

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, very nice. Great thinking.

And if a woman says "You have nice muscles", just look back at her with a serious face and say:

"You know, I'm really tired of you women treating me like some kind of piece of meat. I have feelings too, and I don't just like being thought of as a sex object."

I have a friend that uses this with amazing success.

Oh, and if there's anyone else out there who had purchased my book and found that it was worth $160.00 more than they paid, feel free to contact me and I can arrange to accept the additional payment.

If you haven't yet gotten your copy of my online book "Double Your Dating" (yea, the one that everyone in this newsletter is talking about), then what the heck are you waiting for? Go to:

[ebook download link]

...now and get it. You can download it right now and be reading it within a FEW MINUTES. Get it!

And if you're REALLY ready to dial-up your success with women and you're SERIOUS about getting this are of your life handled, then you need to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

This program is JAM PACKED with literally hundreds of ideas, concepts, and techniques for meeting women and getting dates.

You can check out some free samples here:

[products info link]

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!