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Player Guide: Proceeding instead of closing

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Proceeding instead of closing

A very viable alternative to closing is simply proceeding. If both you and her seem to have some time to spare and things are going well, why would you literally want to “close” a wonderful thing? To leave her wanting for more? To work some more magic over the phone and build up anticipation, incredible connection and attraction? Sure, but none of this compares to being able to make things happen right now. And if there seem to be no unsurmountable obstacles, then that is exactly what you should be doing.

The following example adapted from “Sweep women off their feet…” uses big-time supplication, but being fairly off-the-wall and presented as “anything to make you smile”, it does the trick:) The main value of this example however is the application of proceeding instead of closing.

“There is no better time to go out than right there and then. If you already spent some time talking to a girl you just met and she is responsive, asking her out can mean nothing more than taking the conversation somewhere else.

[Talking with female colleagues on the street]. Just as I turn around I see this amazingly beautiful girl walking down the street towards us.

I looked straight into her eyes and said:

“You know what I think? I think it should be illegal for someone to be as beautiful as you.”

As she made her way past the three of us, she turned her head and said:

“Who me?” as though she was trying to figure out if I was talking to her. She began to blush.

“Yeah, you! You are going to cause an accident. At least if I was one of those guys driving down the street, I couldn’t take my eyes off you and bump the car in front of me.”

“Nah, you’re just saying that.” And then she walked into the building.

“Wait, just wait a second. Do you think that you’re just going to walk into my life like that, completely blow me away with your beauty, style and magnetic personality and then walk away never to be seen again?”

“Well, as sweet as you make it sound, I do have some things to take care of in this building and I have to go.”

“That’s fine with me. Just tell me how long you’ll be and I’ll wait here for you. I won’t even take another breath until you return if that is your wish.”

Without saying another word she went into the elevator and off she went. Five minutes later I was still out there talking to my two friends when she came back out of the building. I walked up to her again and said:

“Wow, I knew that you were going to come back to me. You didn’t tell me how long I should wait but I was ready to go home and get my tent and camp out here for as long as needed just to see you again.”

She starts giggling and says:

“What kind of girl do you think will fall for this kind of lines?”

“Actually, if these lines can put a smile on your face, then I can die a happy man. I suppose I’m ready to die now. My dream has come true. I made you smile. I wonder if I can do it again. But you know this is not even funny. Usually I am a self-centered bastard just like any other guy, keeping my feelings to myself, then this girl walks into my life and changes everything. I start pouring out my inner most feelings and you think they are just some cheesy pick-up lines.” (Acting hurt)

“Somehow I just don’t see you as a self-centered bastard. You’re just being too hard on yourself.”

“I can prove it, but you have to spend some time with me, perhaps have a drink with me around the corner at the E&C (nice restaurant and sports bar).”

“But I don’t drink. Besides why would I want to really find out that you are a self-centered bastard? That’s not what most girls want in a guy.”

“Ok, I don’t drink either. We can have a couple of soft drinks. But I know that in my attempt to show you my dark side, you will realize how much fun you’re having and I’ll get yet another chance to admire your beauty. I’ll even make you a deal. The minute you stop laughing and having a good time that’s the minute that you get up and walk away. No strings attached.”

“Are you buying?”

“I wouldn’t even have it any other way.”

“Ok, you’re on.”

The casual tone of the entire conversation allowed us both to laugh all throughout.

After drinks I told her that I had plans for later in the evening because I wanted to see this movie, but I would love it even more if she came along. By now she was very comfortable in my company and she had no problem saying yes. At the movies we bumped into an old acquaintance and after introducing them he said out of the blue that we look good as a couple and that we would have good looking kids. As you can see, we were already acting like a couple in love, and that’s how people around us perceived us. [well, you won’t be able to count on bumping into old acquintances telling you your kids will be cute, but acting like a couple in love goes a long way nevertheless:)]. At the end of the evening when I took her home we kissed and said good night. We never even exchanged phone numbers as of yet. From earlier conversations she mentioned of her love to read and the vast collection of books she has. At that very moment I asked her if she had any books on love and she said yes. “Can I take a look?” We went upstairs and she told me to wait by the door so she can tidy up a bit before I can go in. Once I was in she showed me her books and gave me the one about love. I sat on the floor and told her “It says in here that love usually happens when you least expect it but if you’re in doubt there’s a little test to find out for sure.” I asked her to sit next to me for the test. We kissed and I never left until the next morning.

Though we spent a few hours together before this happened, the point that I’m trying to make is the fact that meeting a girl for the first time can turn into more than an exchange of phone numbers and a possible date down the road. In this case, having slept together, how hard do you think it would be to ask her out on a date? In her mind it would only be natural that we continue our “relationship” by going out together, and yes, more sex. But at the same time, the fact that we both had the time to talk and get to know each other right away was the deciding factor. If we were under time constraints and constantly interrupted, the most we would have accomplished would have been the exchange of numbers and perhaps another date.”

If at any time the time constraints and interruptions seem to be interfering with proceeding though, you should do the close (taken from “Sweep women off their feet…”):

“It is indeed nice talking to such a wonderful person as you just about anything that can make us both laugh and feel good. But can you imagine how much more we could enjoy each other’s company if we were in a more comfortable setting without any kind of time pressures or interruptions, allowing us to really explore the topics of conversation that allow us to have a good time and laugh the most. I think we owe ourselves at least one chance to experience that. Wouldn’t it be great to experience that and let it happen?”

You basically asked her if she likes to have fun. Who doesn’t like to have fun? From here it’s easy to set a date for you to spend some time together.”

See also:
Inviting the girl over to your place
My home is my love-nest

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So close, yet so far
  »Drunken Ramblings
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Started by: FaithlessPriest
Dec. 12, 2003 – 11:31pm
by: FaithlessPriest
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