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A great example of being verbally flexible
5/9/01 12:36:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time
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Two more days until Major Mark's Awakening Unafraid seminar starts here in
Montreal. I have secured a special invitation for the seminar attendees to
a private party with an open bar for Friday night, which I am sure is the
first of many surprises we will encounter. Details at www.trucor.com.
For those in Montreal or willing to come here for another special event,
Sunday, May 27th at 11:30 a.m., I am organizing a brunch with a special
guest. If you have an interest in what is discussed here, you will
definitely want to be there. For more information, email me.
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Adrian:
Review: David Shade's Manual
Today, exactly as promised, I received my copy of David Shade's Manual. And,
being the kind of guy I am, eagerly read it cover to cover, all 95 bound A5
pages of it.
David summarizes the book as "Advanced sexual techniques and practical
hypnosis to enhance your relationship and drive your woman wild."
Parts of it I recognized from some of David's internet posts (e.g. "Using
NLP
to Slip in the Back Door" and "The Remote Control Egg"), other parts I
didn't recognize, so I presume that they are either new material, or else
I've not seen them before. For anyone who has read the posts I'm referring
to, you may find it useful to know that a significant percentage of David's
Manual is presented along similar lines.
I particularly appreciate the way that the book is written from the point of
view of David's experience. He isn't saying "This is how it is", he is just
describing what has worked for him and his GF. This may be a way of
indicating that "Your mileage may vary", however there are places in the
book where David mentions his results with women other than his GF.
I liked this book a lot. It is everything I was hoping to read in the book
"Hyper Emperia" but didn't find there. H.E. would make a good companion book
to David Shade's Manual as it goes into a lot more detail about how to
hypnotize someone. Where H.E. is lacking, however, and where David's book
is very strong is on ideas on what to do with your GF once you've got her
hypnotized (Make her cum for an hour, anyone?) and the physical details that
you'll need to know to do those things, such as how and where to touch her.
Compared to other books I've read on sex (e.g. Lover's Guide type of thing)
David's Manual is VERY advanced, even before you start to consider the
hypnosis side of things. Many of the sexual techniques described are things
you may have a hard time believing - "Instant Orgasm on Command", "Cumming
Continuously", or "The One Hour Cum", though as far as I know these
phenomena have all been documented in other places, too.
I liked David's well considered book/product references, including one or
two to avoid. I also appreciate the fact that he has tried out things in the
books he references and summarizes his experience with them. I'll be getting
myself onto Amazon to check out the recommended titles straight away!
David doesn't say a great deal about the what's and why's of hypnosis,
though since most guys on this list will be familiar with Ross' SS material,
I guess he didn't really need to. He does, however give excellent
instruction in what you need to actually do to hypnotize your GF, including
a complete script. Also, he covers potential issues/questions, such as "Will
she remember?" and "She won't let me hypnotize her.," etc.
So, in summary, I loved this book. Lots of great ideas, complete with
instructions. Some new references to look up for reliable info on advanced
sexual techniques. And if only a tenth of the things in here worked as
described, you'd be begging to be reincarnated as a woman!
More info and how to order is at: http://www.davidshade.com
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Ross:
>First, the BF Destroyer:
>"Well, let me ask you one question and see if you can be truly honest with
>me, are you so madly in love with that guy that I should just wish you well
>and be on my way, or should I push past this test to find out what
happiness
>we could have together?"
>
>NightLight9:
>This puts a lot of pressure on her to be the one to say "Yes I'm going to
>cheat on him" .
I don't like it. It is forcing her to verbally admit to you that she
has made a bad choice. Why put that wall in front of you?
My Comment: I tried an oldie but a goodie (see below) and that may be a
better way to go.
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Robert (Comments from private email):
> It pisses me off that my age is such a factor now. Many women won't look
> beyond the number.
Been there - heard that. This one I have a solution for:
1) Ignore it.
2) Prevention is worth much more than Cure.
3) If all else fails... fib.
1) Don't bring up the age question. Even if YOU notice the wide age
difference, ignore it. Just assume you & she are the same generation, and
act accordingly.
2) Prevent the age question from even arising, by "youthening" your
appearance, when you go out targeting young HB's. If you've taken care of
yourself, this should not be difficult for 25+ HB's.
If however, you intend to go for CHILDREN (under 23)... then I wish you
luck. :-l
3) If SHE insists on determining your age... simply pick an appropriate
number. You don't have to lie, just IMPLY that you're 30ish/20ish/whatever.
Let HER conclude that the question is: a) irrelevant; and b) answered
sufficiently (for now).
My Comment: My usual response now is to either say nothing (which I am not
crazy about because it will come up later) or to be very upfront about it
right away and get it on the table. I have a friend who will tell a woman
anything to get her in bed and lying about age wouldn't even be something to
think about -- he would do it in a heartbeat. I don't feel good about doing
that. Fortunately, I look a lot younger than I am so I have been getting
past the issue without much resistance still. But I can see it becoming
more and more of an issue.
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NightLight9:
I just wanted to make clear NightLight9 did not write the following. One
thing you are very unlikely to here is me saying I got played. I have
removed that trait from my personality.
>NightLight (did not write :-):
>Ok, so I got played BIG TIME! She put up a HOOP and I jumped through
>it, like a good little doggie. It cost me pride & dignity, and I have no
>intention of calling her again.
To give this correction some value I will post a PU from yesterday.
It was a work function and I spot a cutie wandering. I give her a little
eye contact and keep walking. A little while later I see her at a table with
a friend of mine. I walk over and sit next to her facing him. I say hi to
him > "hey what's happening". He smiles back (he's a
BIGTIME player - male model, very smooth - but married and to my knowledge
retired from the game, so he only practices catch and release). He
introduces me to her and she is obviously in a good mood. Another friend
comes and sits across from me as well. We all talk, having a lot of fun and
I keep making jokes. She's Japanese, so I keep them very simple and laugh a
lot to make sure I am making it clear. This is more PU than SS to be sure. I
keep the convo fun, which is easy since I'm with cool guys and she's pretty
willing
(a little inebriated but far from drunk as well). So we go over to look at
something on the other side of the function which is quite a spectacle.
About half way there I say something about a piggy back ride, which she
interprets as an offer (although I can see she's not sure), I can see she's
willing so I quickly act as if I offered one, and she climbs on. I can feel
her breast pushing again my back and I really like it. By the way, this is
a great example of being verbally flexible. I can't think of the number of
times I've said something meaning one thing and had a HB (with English as
first language ;-) hear/interpret it another way. If she reacts well,
quickly change your mind to fact that you said what she heard and don't
correct her. This seems obvious, but I see AFC's do it all the time.
Keeping in mind that people hear what they want to hear, this is a great
technique for building rapport. You can also use the same type of thing by
saying something sarcastically to the point that she can't tell if you're
joking, get her response and then decide if you were joking or not. Same
with ambiguities... Back to the story. By the time we get to the spectacle
it's already been taken away. So we stand there few minutes, me with this
girl on my back. And talk Everyone disperses and I just walk off with
her. She tells me her car is one way, but my office is only about 200 yards
away so I walk to that instead. Walk in and sit down in my chair with her
still on my back so now she's more straddling me. I unlock my workstation
and start answering email. She starts laughing.
I put on some music and close the door. I type some more and then I turn
and kiss her. It's clear she's not comfortable, but that she is also
attracted to me. We talk some more and says she needs to get going. I say
"I haven't eaten, would like to get something to eat?" (I would not
recommend this with US chick as if she says she has to go, unless she's
really into you, asking her to do something looks really lame.) She says
"yes, that would be nice, what are you going to eat." Conversation is
easier with women who speak a second language because they can't speak well
enough to play stupid games :-) I say, that I'm going to make dinner and
ask if she likes fish (I haven't met to many Japanese people who don't...)
She says yes. A stop at the super market later and we were at my place. I
got dinner started, but I could barely pull myself away long enough to take
it out of the oven and sit it on top of stove before it burned. I know
you're
all wondering, yes we did eventually eat.
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Hypno Bill:
I have read "What the hell do women really want."
This book is excellent and I am currently on my second read. Her perspective
comes from anthropology, and has numerous studies listed to back it up. She
makes the point that you can change or be alone. The bargaining chips are
clearly defined of what is attractive to women. Yes, men want young,
attractive
women and women want powerful men. Yes, money is a bargaining tool. Exactly
what is wrong with nice guy behavior and jerk behavior. Given a choice women
will choose the jerk and why. How to tell if she is LJBF'n you. Also a great
model for starting conversations, the triangle approach. What are open ended
questions. Not the poor advice one normally encounters, like ask open ended
questions without defining what is open so that you can ask them. Lots of
good stuff worth reading a couple of times.
At the local library I found a two tape set called "Making People Talk", by
Barry Farber. It is about making the most of conversation. Good advice; this
guy is a real good story teller. Hard core by most people's standards, he
comes right out and says to use people to get what you need. He even gives
good advice on meeting women. His advice is right on, seems that universal
truths get
around. Although out of print, you might be able to find the book in a used
book store. For anyone in LA, the tapes are in circulation at Los Angeles
county library. Well worth studying as mastering conversation is power.
>My Comments Continue: The best other BF destroyer I think is to just
>ignore her comment and keep going.
Cliff, I agree with that advice. It seems that he is making a Big Deal of
the
borefriend. I do not often hear the boyfriend line. If he is hearing it
regularly over 5 to 10 minutes, he is dropping his cloaking and showing up
on
her sensors as Pick Up. She responds by bringing shields on line with
maximum
force. Even if he overwhelms her shields, she is already arming photon
torpedoes.
Advice: hail her as an ambassador wishing to genuinely exchange cultural
information. That you are sincerely interested in learning about her
customs. Once beamed on board you can start directing toward a friendly cup
of coffee. You have only a limited amount of time as you need to get back to
the alpha quadrant.
Personally I like the "Do you have a boyfriend? Are you looking for a better
one? Answer the second question first." Of course you must bring it up first
and say it fast. But if you are playful you can get away with a lot.
Actually
as I think about it, it could really be a pace of her reality.
My Comment: Two nights ago I stopped this raving beauty on the street and
ran Ross's 90 second close ("...if you're not with someone in the way you
truly want them to be...") and got the boyfriend response. This time,
having been reminded by Tristan of an oldie but a goodie, I hit her with
"That's great, I think that is really special that you have found someone
who fulfills all your needs and desires, and completes you as a woman,
someone who you will spend the rest of your life with, day after day, week
after week, month after month, year after year, to the point where, fifty,
sixty years from now you will look back on all those long years spent
together, I have to say I really think that is terrific." I didn't go
anywhere from there but I could tell she was really thinking about that one!
I wouldn't be surprised if she broke up with him the next day.
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Brother Marcus:
> Stephanie (from private email):
> I found your comment, "Your comment about feeling safe and comfortable
with
> him is very interesting -- I think this is what most of women want but
with
> the excitement still there. The problem is that once they feel a guy is
> safe, he usually ceases to be exciting any more", quite interesting. I
> think women especially think it is always supposed to be exciting. Well,
> let
> me tell you, nothing in life is always anything. ...What do we need to
> be happy? What do we want? How do we get both of them without feeling as
> though we sacrificed or settled too much? That is what needs to be
thought
> about prior to entering a new relationship.
>
> My Comment: Reality is that the burden is on the man to behave in a
manner
> where he has sidestepped all the landmines, passed the tests, and has
still
> managed to maintain that appeal. And note that I am more talking about
the
> very early stages of a relationship ...Once you have gone beyond that
initial phase, you need to know how to
> keep her interested without having to behave in such a way that is
> uncomfortable or unnatural for you (or expend so much effort that you
aren't
> enjoying the process).
Maintaining interest without a lack of comfort, that would be the central
challenge. So, are you saying that's possible? If not, then both of you
sound really dystopian here. The subtext of both these arguments seems to be
that having the perfect relationship means sacrifice--at the beginning for
men, and from then onward for women. Yowtch. Are we talking about typical
relationships, or the sort of good thing that new attitudes and
understandings can bring?
I remember long ago asking my college sweetheart what marriage was for.
She replied, "Thousands of years ago, the men were sitting around a
campfire. One of them piped up and said, 'GUYS! I have a great idea!
Marriage!'
"They all raised their eyebrows and nodded their heads, but one of them
said 'OK, smartass, how do we get the women interested?'
"They sat and thought--all night long--until one of them jumped up and
shouted, 'I know! Weddings!'"
My primary GF and I have been beyond the initial phase for 2.3 years
now, and it keeps getting better. Looking at it in your terms, I'd say the
key has been making and expending effort and enjoying the process the same
thing. That's a decision, remade every moment. Setting the frame for our
relationship is something that we do every day. What I hear you saying,
Cliff, is that somehow a stable relationship means an honorable discharge
from the hard work of winning someone's heart. Seems to me that if something
is worth doing right, it's worth doing over and over again. A big challenge
for me in the opening months of our time together was that, although I used
Speed Seduction» in order to be able to convey myself to her effectively, I
needed to give her credit for her feelings for me. If I hadn't done that, I
would fallen into the same old trap: "Well, my work here is done! Mom--I
mean, Laura, bake me a pie!" As it stands now, neither of us has had to
sacrifice anything.
My Comment: I think there is a distinction between making an effort (where
it is a real effort) and where when you do things for someone because you
want to and the energy is expended comparatively effortlessly.
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