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“Q&A: What if I’m Not ‘Her Type’?” – September 19, 2002

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“Q&A: What if I’m Not ‘Her Type’?” – September 19, 2002

*NOTE: If you or anyone you know:

1) Lives in the Los Angeles area, and…

2) Is GREAT at approaching women in public places and getting phone numbers/email addresses and dates, please send an email to sup***t@do***.com[ ? ] and let me know. I’d like to talk to you or them.

***THIS WEEK’S QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have been trying C & F routine recently and it has been working like a charm. Your CD is incredible with information that builds on your book. An example of C & F happened recently. Women always make comments of my age and how I appear much younger than my age (i’m in my mid-thirties but appear to be 24-25). Before reading your book and listening to your CD, I would simply laugh or say thank you if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my age. Recently I was out with my friends and this good-looking woman said the same comment. My response was “come on, I’m not going to fall for a line that. You women just want me for my youthful looks”. Then I continued busting on her and left with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my exchange with her and my success.

I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and funny responses?

Thanks a million,

Disciple in Training in D.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I really enjoy the way you’ve turned the issue of looking younger around and framed it as a woman’s pathetic attempt to pick you up and use you.

This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all the right things… it creates sexual tension, humor, and a challenge all at the same time.

Very nice.

But the part of your email that I really like is the QUESTION you’ve asked.

You’re asked:

“What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny responses?”

Here’s something that you must remember:

IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS IMPORTANT, THEN YOU’LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU.

Remember, ATTRACTION isn’t a “logical” process. It really doesn’t make very much sense (until you understand how it works, that is).

Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn’t “like” a certain “type” of guy doesn’t mean that she can’t feel a POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of this “type”.

Are you with me here?

ATTRACTION is an emotion.

A “type” is a PREFERENCE.

They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Here’s a good example: Women are universally more interested in taller men. If you ask a woman what “type” of “height” ISN’T her type, she’ll say something like “short guys” or “guys who are shorter than me” etc.

I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who said “I like shorter guys”. Never.

But guess what?

I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the 5’2″ to 5’6″ range that are UNBELIEVABLE with women. They ALL date beautiful women who are taller than them.

So what’s going on here?

ATTRACTION is what’s going on.

So when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny line to turn a “perceived deficit” around, the FIRST thing I have to say is “Stop thinking of it as a deficit”.

First you need to stop caring what a woman thinks of you ALLTOGETHER. Completely.

If you care what she thinks of you, then you’re probably going to start acting like a total WUSS, and you’re going to screw things up anyway.

Women aren’t ATTRACTED to men who look to them for approval. Women are ATTRACTED to men who are strong, independent, and not affected by the opinions of others (this is a generalization, but it’s basically true).

So based on this new perspective, here are a few ways that you could handle a situation like this one…

1) NOT CARE AT ALL

One of the things you could do is just address the comment at all… as if it didn’t even exist.

A mistake many people make is thinking that they MUST take every communication that another person takes seriously and then RESPOND to it.

Not so.

You don’t have to do ANYTHING if you don’t want to.

So if a woman says “I like tall guys” you can just act as if it had never been said, and continue with your conversation, getting her email/number, or whatever.

By the way, this concept can be EXTREMLY useful in other situations as well. For instance, if a woman starts getting upset about something and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don’t respond at all. Then, when it settles down a little, just continue your conversation as if nothing had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out with dramatic, overly-emotional women too, you dork!).

2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER

In this case, you’re talking about height. One way to deal with this is to bring it up before she does.

As soon as you start talking say “Well, you’re taller than me… I’m over it, are you yet?”

This says a few things. It says that you know what’s going on… it says you’re confident… and it shows that you’re not afraid to deal with it.

It also addresses the issue in such a way that you’ll know where she stands on it.

If she just CAN’T get past it, she’ll tell you.

3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM

Here’s a place to use Cocky & Funny.

You might say “Wow, you’re kind of a freak. I think something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It must suck trying to find nice pants, huh? You have to wear all those weird pants made for freaks and stuff.”

Or if she’s talking about a trait that she’s attracted to, point out the negative sides of that trait in a Cocky & Funny way.

Maybe she says “I like men who know how to treat a lady special, take her nice places, and who pay for everything to show that they’re a gentleman”.

You might say “Oh, so what you’re telling me is that you like men who basically pay for your attention with money and gifts… how romantic.”

…The one thing that you’ll find at the bottom of all the ideas that I’ve just presented is FIRST OF ALL, NOT CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.

I know that it’s a paradox… you obviously want her to like you, but you have to not care what she thinks of you.

Well, get over it.

Women aren’t attracted to men who are APPROVAL SEEKERS.

And if a woman throws out a comment like “I like tall guys”, you must first learn to NOT CARE, and not let it impact you emotionally.

Then you’ll be free to redirect the conversation and decide if she’s the kind of woman that YOU would like to go out with.

By the way, when you are interacting with a woman, one of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will determine whether or not she will feel ATTRACTION for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW YOU COMMUNICATE THEM.

And you are constantly communicating your beliefs with your body language», voice tone, words, topics, questions, and everything else you do.

In my new audio seriesAdvanced Dating Techniques” I spend a few HOURS going into some of the things you need to understand and do to communicate your inner beliefs in such a way that they lead to a woman feeling that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for you.

This material will truly blow your mind. It’s taken me about 5 years now to really figure it all out and then put it together and explain it… and I absolutely guarantee that this material will make you feel like powerful and excited about meeting women… and of course it will also give you all the specific tools, techniques and specifics that you’ll need to do it as well. Go to:

[products info link]

…for all the details.

And if you haven’t read my eBook “Double Your Dating” yet, then that’s the best place to start. It’s the base and the foundation of everything I teach, and it includes three free bonus booklets that are worth more than the price of the entire package. Go to:

[ebook download link]

…to get it.

And I’ll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS QUESTION & ANSWER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.

The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo.  All Rights Reserved.  By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.  All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity.  By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings.  Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.

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