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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: ATTRACTION And Approaching Women” – December 23, 2002

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“Q&A: ATTRACTION And Approaching Women” – December 23, 2002

***QUESTION***

whatsup dr dave,

let me start out by saying you are my savior. ive been getting your newsletters for about a month now, and WOW! thank you. my question is: i work in a restaurant. needless to say there are quite a few 8s,9s and even a few 10s working there. approaching and talking to them is not a problem. but i feel i should be careful when asking one of them to join me for beer after work. i dont want to bring any feelings of uncomfortableness between us (if shes not interested). what would you recommend i do and what should i say?

t
indy

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The first thing to remember is that when you “ask a woman out”, you IMMEDIATELY start a whole chain of mental and emotional events for a woman.

She has to decide if she “likes you” and if there could ever be anything between the two of you… and if she’s thirsty and interested in free beer.

You get my drift.

Women know when you’re asking them “out out”, as in you’re asking them because you have a “romantic interest”.

Guess what?

When you do this it ALSO puts the woman in the driver’s seat in the situation, because she instantly realizes that she has something you want. Have you ever heard of “wanting it tax”? It’s when the price goes up the more you want it.

Now, as you probably know, I don’t generally think that it’s such a great idea to date women you WORK with, because you never know what’s going to happen, and the last thing you need is losing your job or having to work for hours at a time in an uncomfortable situation.

And besides, attractive women usually have attractive FRIENDS, and if you’re cool, the women you work with can lead to an endless supply of dates. Think it over.

You might want to think of it as a goose that lays golden eggs.

Even though I don’t advise dating women you work with, I still want to address your basic question of asking a woman out without creating discomfort…

Remember, most guys do the exact same things. They start talking to a woman, then say “Hey, can I take you out sometime?” or “Do you have a boyfriend?”.

This stuff is HORRIBLE.

It does exactly the wrong thing. It makes you look like a wuss boy that needs a girlfriend. And if she’s not interested (which she probably won’t be), then it WILL create some discomfort in the future.

MUCH BETTER TO TEST FIRST, THEN TAKE A SMALL STEP.

If it’s a woman you know, tease her, bust on her, and generally act like you don’t care. Make a comment about her and walk away. Be Cocky & Funny when you’re with her, and don’t be boring.

Then, if she’s responding positively (laughing, hitting you, telling you that you’re a pain, etc.), then say “Hey, do you have email?”

If she does, have her write it down, then say “Bye”.

>>From a MAN’S perspective this might not seem any different than just asking a woman out.

But from the WOMAN’S perspective it’s VERY different.

First of all, you’ve never shown her any romantic interest, which doesn’t give up your power in the situation, and hand it all to her.

Second, instead of putting “dating” pressure on her, you’ve only asked her for her email address (and maybe her number as well).

But you HAVEN’T asked her on a date, you HAVEN’T created any kinds of weird vibes in the air, and you HAVE made her wonder what you have in mind.

It’s powerful, think about it.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hey There,

Ok So I am a butch lesbian who has recently subscribed to your mailbag. Ok I am totally fascinated by you and what u have to say. I am planning on getting your book next week actually. I have used your tips about getting the phone numbers by asking the girl if they have email. Ok that works like a charm, i haven’t yet not got a phone number. So Just to let you know, you advice works for butch lesbians too! ok but here is my prob. I met this girl and i got her email addy, phone number and s/n. Well I didn’t want to be like everyone else and call her so i sent her an instant message. Well finally she wanted to call me. My response was I hope your not a stalker, trying to be funny and cute. Well she called and we talked forever, i couldn’t get the girl off the phone. Now she calls me like 5 times a day. She really likes me, she has admitted it and she broke up with her g/f so she could see where things go with me. I like her a lot and i want to see where things go, but her ex is a threat to me and her ex might want her back. I’ve also made the mistake of telling her i like her, so i’m thinking she may become “in control.” My question is what do I do next? Meaning how do i get that control back, do i continue acting like i want her, or should i talk about other girls? Also what about the ex? do i make it a threat or what. Also she is jealous b/c her best friend also likes me. Anyways, Any advice u may have for me, i would appreciate it.

Much Appreciation
CNS
Georgia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is great.

You know, if I PAID people to write this stuff it couldn’t possibly be this good.

I have this secret lesbian fan base that only breaks the silence occasionally when the situation get’s really critical. Love it.

OK, here are a couple of thoughts:

1) If she has an ex who’s in the picture, keep your distance and make her pursue you.

I have PERSONALLY made the mistake of acting CLINGY when an ex turns up in the picture and tries to get a woman back.

It’s generally not a good idea.

The best thing you can do is what you’re already doing… tease her and let her pursue YOU.

If she’s busy pursuing you, she’ll be thinking about you, wondering what you’re doing, wondering why you’re so busy, etc. and won’t have the attention for the ex.

On the other hand, if you start pursuing HER, then she’ll have to “decide between which one she wants”.

Not a good position to put yourself in. And it’s MUCH less interesting for her as well.

2) If her friend also likes you, that can be a GOOD thing.

Jealousy is a very interesting emotion.

It’s not something you want to use to manipulate another person, but if the situation creates it naturally, that’s another thing entirely.

If you have someone who is interested in you, and that person knows that others are also interested, it only makes them like you more.

…You know, someday I’m going to have to do a Double Your Dating» LESBIAN SUMMIT, so I can be stuck in some resort somewhere with 100 lesbian women who need dating advice.

I would have to say something male and insensitive like that, wouldn’t I?

***QUESTION***

David,

I’ve been reading your weekly newsletters, and I decided to take the plunge and get your online book.

It’s got some great information, and some tips that I haven’t thought of. I found myself already doing a lot of things covered, and I guess I’m pretty pleased that I needed much less training than I thought I did.

But I do have this question, and it’s not covered in your books, and it continues to stump me. I’ve added a bit of extraneous information, so you have a good picture of what happens.

A quick note of background, I was raised by my mother, and like many men like that, I can be pretty effeminate. Frankly, most of the time, that isn’t a problem as I have found, more often than not, as long as you’re confident, girls will just go on; if anything, it confuses the hell out of them, because it’s very easy for me to play the friend role in the coffee shop, while also flirting with them. In fact, it’s very disarming (and it allows me a greater understanding of girls than most guys have, and has helped me quite a lot.)

Usually (but not always) girls I meet are off the internet, and what happens every single time is this: I meet them and then within three to five hours they’re in my bed, or we’re in my car making out. Some of this is due to confidence, some because of the cocky/funny thing, some of this is because I am disarming and I make them feel relaxed. I don’t have sex with them, I’m a virgin, it’s just a personal choice, and I will add that all the girls I’ve ever been with except for one were *not* virgins, and in two or three occasions, I’ve had to refuse a hard sex sell.

So after we’re done making out, I take them home, everything seems fine.

Then the next day, they don’t want anything to do with me. They do want to be friends (most of the time) but they don’t really even want to talk to me on the phone or see me in person again. They definitely don’t want to date again.

Sometimes I get a reason why (only once or twice has that reason been “we’re moving too fast” or its variant “I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do.”) One time I got the response that I’m “too different” another time, in a situation which happened with a girl who lived out of state, and therefore I really wasn’t trying to date, I later found out that I made her “feel dirty.” The answers are all different, and yet they (usually) seem to have a universal confusion that binds them.

And for the most part, I’m hard wired for a long term relationship, so this is all depressing to me that I’m essentially having lots of little one night stands. I’ve theorized that it may be because I’m moving too fast, but is that concept real? Is it because I lead them on so much and then I finally refuse them?

Your book is entirely about seducing them, and I’m successful doing that; but for some reason, we part, they go back and think about things for a bit, and I can’t do it a second time because they want very little to do with me. (It happens quickly too…I’ve woken up to emails saying “I’m sorry to tell you this…but…”)

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated,

J

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, yea… I really feel your pain.

You’ve learned how to make women want to make out with you and have sex within a few hours of meeting… BUT YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN SEX… and then they don’t call you back.

Will someone please give this guy a medal for dumbest question of all time?

I think you might want to go read some “Mars and Venus” books or something. Try buying women things, or maybe paying for lots of dinners or something.

lol… I think you’re going to figure it all out.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

First off, I want to tell you how amazing your stuff is! (I’m sure you already know) It’s really changed my life. I feel great about myself! I never realized how much of a wuss I was until after reading your book. lol…I laugh at how stupid I was. I am now able to talk to women and feel completely confident about myself. It’s great!

Anyways, I was on a double date the other night and I decided to try some of your techniques. I noticed that just by acting like you are in control of yourself, gets you far. I had my date feeling as though she wasn’t good enough for me, and my friends date was even hitting on me. I could not believe it. However, I had trouble coming up with some C&F things to say. How do you know what to say and when to say it? I want to master this! What do you suggest to further this skill?

A,
UT

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, let me see if I understand your situation.

You read my book, realized you were a wuss, STOPPED being a wuss, STARTED getting great results, and now you want to know what I suggest to further your skills?

Here’s a hint:

[products info link]

…and here’s another one:

Sit down and take an hour of your life to WRITE DOWN the 10 most common situations you find yourself in with women, then come up with 3 great Cocky & Funny lines for each situation. Finally, practice them in your mind, and in the real world until they feel natural.

PRACTICE.

***QUESTION***

Hello Dave, This is T., I just ordered and received your CD’s and I’m ready to roll, I just want to let you know my current situation, not once have i dated someone who I was really attracted to, clicked with, and who was emotionally stable, I’m 27 years old and all my friends are dating descent looking women and moving on in their relationships, They tried setting me up with a few people, but they were all nasty looking, and they tell me that i’m very picky and that i should learn to “like someone for who they are” which i think is pure bullsh**, to me, attraction is very important or else i can’t date the person, I know I’m a good-looking guy and I can do just as good and better once I gain the tools from your CD’s, I have a problem with being “nice,” instead of cocky, ball-busting, and mysterious, like all my other friends, the few girls that i’ve dated that i found attractive always stopped calling me and I simply don’t know why, i simply don’t have the positive qualities that the “jerk” has, i simply don’t know how to approach someone who’s attractive and carry on a good conversation, will the cd’s turn all that around for me? hope this email isn’t too long, if it is, i’ll keep it shorter next time.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The short answer is: YES. DEFINITELY.

By the way, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING SAYING:

“…hope this email isn’t too long, if it is, i’ll keep it shorter next time…”

That’s WUSSY TALK.

Are you with me?

Next time you write me, and you think your email might be a little too long, say “If this email is too long for you to include in your newsletter, let me know and I’ll edit it”.

Don’t say things like “hope this email isn’t too long”.

Subtle things communicate so much.

EVICT THE INNER WUSSY!

***QUESTION***

David, I have used your C&F stuff with amazing success, but theres one area of difficulty I have encountered. I’m a freshman in college and I talk to A LOT of girls. Almost all of the girls ive talked to are very nice and seem very interested and love the C&F attitude. I get their Aol Instant Messenger names and their e-mails and all but the problem is that some of them, even though they had a fun time talking with me and they spent a lot of time with me initially, they block me and ignore me and I dont understand why. I’ve asked ALL of them why but they dont respond to me and they look at me weird and shyly. But I say and do the same thing with them as I do with others who dont block me and who just completely love me. I just dont get it. I thought that maybe I intimidated them or something. Help me David Help Meee!!!

-c

(btw your stuff is incredible…I have 10x the confidence and ability to get dates with women than I ever had in the past, thanks man!)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol… calm down. You’re making me nervous.

You sound like you need to chill out and relax.

If you’re getting BLOCKED on instant messenger, then you’re probably being just a TAD too pushy with these women.

Lean back.

Tease.

Make a comment online, then say “I have to run”…

Don’t act like you want her attention.

RELAX.

And did I mention that you need to RELAX?

Did you hear the story about the old bull and the young bull standing on the hill?

The young bull says “Hey let’s RUN down there and have sex with one of them cows!”

Old bull looks at him and says “Let’s WALK down there and have sex with ALL of them.”

Ponder. Reflect. Repeat.

***QUESTION***

Let me preface this by saying that I agree 100% with your ideas. I realized the cocky and funny principles in high school, when I noticed a good friend got laid constantly because he just naturally had that routine down. He always laughed about it – the less he appeared to care about getting laid, the more he got laid. Pure magic.

But I’m just curious if there are women who are actually turned off by the cocky and funny routine. I’ve always liked smart, nerdy girls – the librarian archetype – and I’m a little leery that these women might not be so impressed with the C&F. Nobody likes a wuss, of course, but I’m wondering about the women who aren’t so easily manipulated. How about some failure stories? When doesn’t this stuff work so well, and are there things to watch for to keep from going too far with it?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, Cocky & Funny isn’t a super-secret, covert manipulation tactic. It’s a way of flirting, teasing, and interacting with women that they enjoy.

Second, I’ve found that the only women who DON’T respond well to it are women who are UPTIGHT, women who aren’t at all interested, or overly SHY women who are intimidated (in which case you can usually just tone it down and have fun with them too).

That’s my personal experience.

Smart, nerdy girls like the ones you’re attracted to (I’m glad you have that market cornered, by the way) should LOVE to spar with you and will probably LOVE your Cocky & Funny attitude. Keep it intellectual.

There will ALWAYS be situations in life when things don’t work for you.

Tiger woods screws up a lot of shots, and he’s the best in the world at golf.

Michael Jordan misses a lot of shots, and he’s the best in the world at BBall.

We don’t live in an ideal testing lab, we live in reality.

Don’t worry about what won’t work, and find what will.

The thing to watch for to keep from going too far with Cocky & Funny is a woman getting VISIBLY ANGRY or asking you to leave. If that happens, walk away.

***COMMENT***

Hey Dave

Here comes a big thank you. Your material is unbelievable/amazing/<insert superlatives from your fave thesaurus here>. Just wanted to clue you in on what you’ve done for me and how you’ve healed the social leper (at least with girls) that was me.

Bit of background: I’m short, stocky, average looks but I can be funny. The “funny nice guy” got me places, but trouble was, I was a major wimp when it came to women. The Sub-Standard “Mom’s brainwashing” owns up at this point. I’d stumbled my way through school and early twenties, slowly but surely improving my appearance and myself from no-hoper to “in-with-a-chance-if-he’d-only-open-his-mouth” type guy. Last Christmas I got lucky with a girl I’d dreamed about at work. And when I say I got lucky, I mean she seemed to fancy me too. Well in early October this year, after losing her completely to the Mystery that is Women’s Attraction, I was at the end of my tether. I’d go home after parties seriously annoyed that I got nowhere, ragging on at myself for missing my chances. I was losing my will to live, metaphorically at least.

Anyway, did a search on the net, found your stuff, and downloaded your ebook the same day. Read it, and immediately realised what I’d done wrong with that girl. Mentally, committed myself to give up on the memory of her and moved on. That evening, went out to a club with friends and applied your principles (well what I could remember anyway) and did SO well I was a new man. UNTIL I got a little too drunk and turned WIMP again and spilled out how I thought this girl there (a friend) was amazing etc. She literally hid from me the rest of the night. hahaha.

So fast forward to now: The Wussbag side of me has been consigned to a berth on S.S. Titanic, and I have had 6’s and 7’s throwing themselves at me these last couple of months. I’m moving up the food chain slowly but surely. Cheers for sorting my head/life/etc. out and helping me towards being able to look myself in the eye in the mirror again.

Some wise person once said “If you wanna get rich quick, start a religion”. Well Dave, looks like you’ve inadvertently done that.

Cheers

MJ
London

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What, no gifts for me?

Yea, you gotta be careful with that alcohol stuff.

It can loosen you up, but it can just as easily make you act like a dumb ass in the worst way.

Great job, and thanks for the email.

Isn’t it great that us regular guys can have success with women…? Love it.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Ok, for everyone reading this now.. GET DAVID D’s BOOK NOW!! and his CD/DVD’s too!! Dave, you are the man! I’ve never in my entire life had this much success in the last 6-8 months. Case-in-point I met this girl, about 8.5, and when we first met I was a young jedi..lol I had only just bought your book and was a novice. So I became Cap’n Wussy..lol And she said she just wanted to be friends, so I moved on like you say. Well we have been friends ever since, we occasionally hang out and I would push the C+F attitude to the hilt. The would love it, she called me an ass, smartass, etc. Well she calls me here reverently to tell me she now has feelings for me, and she doesn’t understand why.. of course you and I know why..hehehe.. Supposively it happened when we went to a movie together, I was basically treatin her like my bratty little sister. Now she wants me and says she can’t stop thinkin about me, she called me a bastard cause she can’t stop thinking about me.. Damn, man you teach some powerful stuff.. I told her some stuff about other women, not that I’m dating but who have came on to me and she got jealous, I wasn’t trying to make her jealous. Dude, I’m attracting her and I swear I’m not even trying!! I just wanna date around and have fun, hell I’m in a band and have dreams of being a rock star so I’m not planning on settling down soon.. Anyway, you are truely a Jedi Master!!…

-bassman in oh

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, the good news is that even if you don’t hit it big and become a rock star, you can still ATTRACT WOMEN like one.

Nice. Good work.

And I really like the new word “supposively”?.

***QUESTION***

Dave;

I’ve never wrote into one of these before, but after reading some of your stuff and putting it to the test I wanted to commend you on your C & F technique… Good Stuff!

Since I’m on winter break right now I’ve only got a chance to try it out online. It’s been going great and I’ve been getting good responses, but I can’t figure out how to close the deal. I know you said that you want to get the woman on the phone as soon as possible, but all I’ve been getting is a couple e-mails a day from this one that I’m trying to bag. She is a definite 9.5-10 and without a doubt interested in me, I just can’t get her to close the deal and contact me on the phone or give me her number. What should I do?

C

>>>MY COMMENTS:

“BAG”?

“CLOSE THE DEAL”?

I’d first recommend that you stop thinking about “bagging” and “closing the deal” and start thinking about how you can make her feel ATTRACTION.

If a woman feels ATTRACTION for you, then the “bagging” will take care of itself. Are you with me here?

Also, STOP FOCUSING TOO MUCH ENERGY ON ONE WOMAN.

If you’re just dating women right now, NEVER put too much importance on one woman… ESPECIALLY one that you’ve never even talked to.

Meet other women.

Go out.

And get your mind of off “closing” and “bagging”.

That’s needy, user talk.

***QUESTION***

Hi I have a 2″ of beard and I wanted to ask would your e-book help a guy with beard in the same way as any other guy, even though I keep it well groomed.

Thanks

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, gentle reader, this is a real question from a real person.

My answer:

No. This stuff will absolutely not work for you.

I’d recommend that you trim the beard to one and seven eighths inches, and keep it slightly less well groomed.

That should do the trick, and all of my concepts will then work for you.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Dave,

Gotta tell you first of all that I’m a girl and accidentally was subscribed to your newsletter by a well meaning ‘friend’. I found it interesting reading about how guys are so hung up on attracting women, going on dates and stuff. Do forgive me I have not read your ebook Double your dating stuff, no offence, it’s just that I’m married with kids and dating other men (apart from my husband) is not something I’d be thrilled about.

Anyway, I just wanted to comment on some stuff I read in your newsletter. Here’s your first hand girlie response. It is NOT true that “once you’re in a “NO” category it’s hard to get out no matter how good your game is. Personally there were a few guys that I’ve assigned to a NO category at first and ended up dating later, my husband being one of them. Most of my girl friends would tell you the same. And it doesn’t matter what kind of characteristic would send a guy into the NO category – too young, too old, too skinny, too short, too poor, big nose, big ears, too boring, too depressing, etc etc etc you name it. None of it matters, at least it never mattered for me, no matter how much I tried to make myself think rationally. It all depends on how manly you are. And different women have different ideas on that, if you match most of those or at least some, it doesn’t matter if she put you in the No category at first. Women change their mind often, as you probably have noticed. While writing this email to you I’ve changed my mind at least 3 times as to whether I should send it or not. LOL. One last thing – having a lot of women in your life is not a very noble purpose for a man’s life. Being a better person and a better man is, and if you manage to make it a priority in your life, then beautiful, intelligent and lovable women will be all over you in an instant. At least I find it true in my life and in the life of my friends all over the world.

R
VL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Again, I couldn’t have paid someone to write something better.

NOTICE TO ALL MEN

If you want to attract a WIFE AND KIDS, and you want a woman who changes her mind three times before even FINISHING an email, then take the above advice.

My favorite:

“Having a lot of women in your life is not a very noble purpose for a man’s life.”

Yea, you’re right.

Having a lot of women in your life SUCKS when you’re a man.

Thanks for your email.

***QUESTION***

My first every try of your wisdom. I got a phone call with a girl ringing about my car. My mate saw who she was and began chatting her up. Then i got on the phone and gave it a speal, and told her to contact me for a test drive and I would show her the ropes.

The next day i got a phone call from her again. she never liked the car but asked me if i used the phone number to help pick-up! I put it back onto her and told her that she called me and was picking me up. she never denied it. two days later i rang her and told her i was coming her way and would like to partake in her favorite meal and coffee. was thursday or friday best. Sure enough i got the date. my first ever time i’ve asked a girl out, and she ended up being a 5’10” leggy blonde who dod modeling and was studying law! CATCH!

Thanks for the confidence boost
C – Australia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, the language barrier might exist, but the communication is LOUD AND CLEAR.

Nice.

***QUESTION***

Dave, I have your ebook and your Advance Audio CDs and my success with women has dramatically increased. I used to get nervous around attractive women and would act like a complete wuss. Now I am able to remain confident and in control, and sometimes I notice women blush or act nervous when I talk to them.

My problem comes when I am having a conversation with a woman. It seems like I am only able to talk about relatively boring things like, “how’s school going?”, “what did you do last weekend?”, etc.. It is hard for me to incorporate the C&F attitude when I am not in that fun, easy going state of mind. I can never think of anything that I could bust her balls on. If I am in the right setting and atmosphere, like at a party, it is easier for me to pull off the C&F attitude all night. I do notice that once I make a comment that gets a woman to laugh, it’s all good from that moment on. What kind of C&F comments can I make when first meeting a woman to get into the flow of things? Should I focus on her physical attributes or something else when making that first C&F comment?

Thanks
MP
Louisville, KY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The FIRST thing you need to do is LISTEN TO THE CD PROGRAM AGAIN.

It’s more important that you just RELAX and get rid of your INSECURITIES than ANYTHING ELSE!

Cocky & Funny is important, but it’s MORE important that you practice the body language» and voice tone exercises in that program, and you learn how to project the types of beliefs and self image that attracts women.

Don’t worry as much about the techniques.

The body language» and attitude are FAR more important for you at this stage.

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave, I have to say I’m the biggest wussie you’ll ever meet! I mean I can even get the nerves to order your seminar, which I truely want to order.

I just got out of a 13yr. marriage a year ago and I really want to get back out into the dating world and have fun like the rest of the guys.The problem is that I can’t break out of this wussie shell that I’m in.I Don’t know how to give myself courage to approach women without my subconscious mind wussing out.I’ve read all of your dating tips,and they sound great,but I’m still in confusion on starting a conversation with a women and keeping it alive.I have to admit that I’m one of those quiet guys that don’t say to much unless I know a women likes me,then I can talk my ass off,then after all said and done I still wussed out on asking her for a phone number,or a date.I desperately need your help to get me back in the dating world,and if you can’t help me then I don’t think anybody can. Do you have any advice to get me out of this wussie stage so I can get back out into the dating world,and to purchase your dating seminar? Do you have any seminars coming to minnesota?

thanx K.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Please follow these instructions:

1) Find a strong, buff friend.

2) Ask him to BITCH SLAP you.

Repeat until you can stop acting like a girl.

I would recommend that you invest in my Advanced Series, but I don’t want to confuse and upset you.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

You are the man!!! I have been receiving your newsletters for about 4 months now, and plan to get your book as soon as I get some legal issues taken care of. I gotta say that your stuff works wonders. Here is my example; I was at the laundromat earlier today, and I just happened to run across a girl I went to High School with. I have changed a lot since the, and she didn’t recognize me. I couldn’t resist the temptation…..this was a girl who blow me off back then. I walked up to her and started talking. Nothing much, busting on her for coming in with her mom…..”You still living with Mommy I see.” Stuff like that. So, after a few minutes, I tell her I have to go finish up my clothes. I walk away without saying a word. While I’m standing there folding my clothes, I glance up a few times and watch her looking at me. Every time I look up, I give her this sly little half-cocked grin and she jerks her head away. I finish up and go to leave, giving her only that little grin as I’m going, and walk out to my car. Right before I start the car, she’s running out with a slip of paper in her hand. Its her number. Like I said before, this was a girl who wouldn’t even look my way 4 years ago.

Okay now…..here’s my question…..Normally I couldn’t approach a girl like I did this one. I get up to them, say hi, then I freeze……once I can get into the c&f routine its no problem……but a lot of times, I find it hard to get into it…….Got any pointers for me?

FC
Kentucky

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, I LOVE THIS STORY!

Don’t you wish you could turn back the hands of time and have another chance with all those hot girls that ran around your high school… the ones that wouldn’t even look at you?

I’m pretending that I’m you right now, and it’s great.

To answer your question, don’t worry too much about being Cocky & Funny when you first meet a girl that you’ve never talked to… one that you’ve just approached.

The only thing you need to focus on is getting her info so you can follow up later.

Use the 3 minute email/number technique, and don’t worry about being Cocky & Funny until you get together with her next.

Trying to come up with cute lines when you first meet a girl usually makes you self-conscious. Just get her info!

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,

I recently ordered your CD series and I have to tell you that it was totally amazing. I am calling it amazing due to the lack of words that can describe/praise the series. I have had your book for about a year now. When I got the book, it was a big eye opener and I felt like taking the book and hitting myself over the head with it {I used to be a big WUSS}. I thought nothing could be better than that but you proved me wrong by releasing the CD series which is absolutely untouchable!

I have read your book many times and have heard the CD series about five times. EVERYTIME I hear it again I hear something that I failed to hear/note/realize before. I have decided not to listen to any other tape, CD or radio till I have this stuff so embedded in my subconscious mind that it becomes second nature. For this I would also like to make a suggestion to all of the other readers. There is a saying: “IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LEARN YOU MUST BECOME”. I have realized many times that I act and behave normal when I am around friends Or women that I am not interested in. BUT as soon as a hottie comes around, I try to switch to the personality and character that you have taught most of the times I succeed BUT there are many times when it is hard to so SUDDENLY change. IF YOU STAY IN THAT CHARACTER ALL THE TIME, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SWITCHING GEARS. OVER THE PERIOD OF TIME IT WILL BECOME YOUR REAL CHARACTER AND SECOND NATURE IT WILL ALSO GET YOU MORE RESPECT FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

I also realized that BODY LANGUAGE» is 93 or better percentage of the communication. BUT have not seen you RECOMMEND A BOOK ON BODY LANGUAGE». I went to the library and Borders and found a lot of books in fact, too many! Can you suggest a couple on Body language»? Thanks in advance.

Thanks!

PG
Ohio

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email.

I love it when I hear from guys who are taking action, and getting this part of their lives together!

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find ANY books about body language» that I consider to be GREAT.

And worse, most of the books I’ve read about body language» teach you NOTHING useful about ATTRACTION.

The book “Body Language»” by FAST is interesting, and you might want to check it out. There’s a chapter in there about a guy who is good with women, but unless you understand all the things you’ve learned from my CD program, it doesn’t make very much sense.

If you find any good ones, email me and let me know!

…and if you’re reading this right now and you HAVEN’T gotten your copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques Program yet, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Let’s see…

1. It’s the best investment you can possibly make in your dating success.

2. It’s over 12 full hours of digitally recorded, edited, and mastered audio and/or video.

3. It comes with a 100% no-hassle money back guarantee. If you don’t love it, get excited by it, and have more real success with women just ask for your money back. Really.

On the website you can watch and listen to several samples:

[products info link]

And of course, if you haven’t yet read my original eBook “Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, then you really need to get that now. You can download it and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now…

[ebook download link]

Happy holidays, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS QUESTION & ANSWER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com/.

The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo.  All Rights Reserved.  By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.  All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity.  By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings.  Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.

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