mASF post by "OceanEyes"
posted on: alt.seduction.relationships, July 7, 2005On 7/20/05 9:05:00 AM, BlueMystery wrote:
>Hey guys!
>
>This is my first time posting,
>and I would appreciate some
>advice with my current
>situation.
Ok.
>
>Background info: I'm an RAFC
>and am practicing PU material
>almost ever day. I'm
Excellent.
>currently in a relationship
>with a HB8 and we've been
>together for 4 months.
>Everything in the relationship
>is good, only that we are
You think.
>currently living in different
>countries (Im on vacation in a
>different part of the world,
>and she will be going to
>germany on vacation as well)
>but we will be rejoining in 4
>weeks.
You think.
>
>I've been reading a lot here
>and am working on maintaining
>a strong LTR by keeping the
>tension by being CnF,
>mysterious, then emotional,
>etc...and creating drama.
Be careful here. Women are masters
at this, they have lots of practice.
If you aren't used to doing this, you
may get yourself in a bind.
>Speaking of drama, I
>accidentally created too much
Having "accidents" with women is
generally not a good idea.
>drama for my GF in one of my
>emails, and I was wondering
>what some of you guys think
>would be the best course of
>action to go the other way and
>make things fine again (the
>balance) while remaining
>Alpha.
>
>Anyways, here's her reply to
>the email I sent (which I
>unfortunately didn't save).
>
>I'll also give what my
>intentions were, so that I
>could more easily learn from
>my mistakes.
Right. Just treat the whole incident
as a social experiment, and if the
outcome is unfavorable to your interest,
no big deal, you learned something.
>
>
>"
><<<<<This first part, I was
>just trying to gossip and get
>her to reveal more of the
>"girl secret code", but I
>think it backfired and instead
>created insecurity.
> (My lines)Oh, you know
>> what this one chick said to me?
>> Anyways, she told
>> me that it didn't count because she was like "it was in a different
>> country" kind of argument. What do you think?
>
>(her response) How am I
>supposed to react to that
>question?
This is exactly what you are trying to determine,
her reaction to your comments.
>You don't honestly expect me
>to give you the permission to
>fuck that
>bitch, do you?
Interesting choice of words here.
>Do you want me to fuck some
>guy when I'm in germany,
>because I'm in a
>different country? How do you
>like that thought?
Uh oh, she is getting defensive.
>
>If you fuck her lose my
>number.
She now owns the frame. You have
little value to her that she can keep
you "faithful" despite being very long
ways apart.
>
><<<Here, I was using a line I
>found on this forum to
>experiment (I'm not taking
>credit for it, and Im sure it
>wouldve worked on a different
>context)..it didn't work out
>the way it was supposed
>to.
>(my lines) Are you still
>working out like you're
>supposed to? You'd
>> better be, or you're gonna look unfuckable, which'll be too bad.
>
>(her lines) I hope that's
>supposed to be a joke.
>It better be or you just
>turned unfuckable.
>I wouldn't have expected you
>to be so superficial.
It sounds like you are being incongruent.
AFCs are not supposed to act like this.
She is reacting to your incongruency, not
the comment.
>
><<<<<<We planned to go to
>Miami when I came back, so I
>gotta rebuild attraction for
>her to regain that fun
>state.
>
>(my lines) Awww, how sweet
>that we're going to miami
>
>(her response)You better give
>me a very good reason why I
>shouldn't think that over
>again.
She is making demands. It sounds like
she is used to making demands in the
relationship and that you are used
to going along with them.
>
>
><<<hehe, I was trying to be
>cocky n funny, using DYD shit
>I think it was. Didn't go
>well tho.
>(my lines)Missing you, hope to
>hear from you soon. I miss you
>a lot
>> Sandra.......especially in the dark
>
>(her response)Doesn't sound
>much like it.
You are being incongruent again.
>
>Thank you for ruining my day.
>It's always nice to start a
>day by getting really pissed
>off.
>Especially if it's by someone
>you'd expect something else
>of.
If you started the relationship as an
AFC, she has categorized you as a tame
boyfriend, possibly husband material.
You can't sqitch gears into player mode and
expect her to go along with it. She is
just going to think you are an asshole,
then go fuck a real player and feel no
guilt or shame about it.
>
>End of message.
>
>"
>My purpose was to experiment:
>/1 talking gossip with my GF.
Gossip is something chicks do.
My gf tooled me recently on gossiping about
something, big mistake for her because
she loves to gossip herself. Not with
me anymore.
>/2 Show that I have standards
>(she wasn't working out)
If this was your first attempt at
establishing standards, it was
obviously not well calibrated to her.
>/3 Anticipate the fun we'd
>have together
She isn't in the mood to have fun now.
>/4 Play cocky funny.
Don't play C&F. Be C&F. Understand the
difference.
>/5 and most importantly, just
>tease her!
If you haven't teased her in the past,
doing this by email takes away the
most important part of teasing, the
non-verbal, body language parts.
>
>I think that I simply busted
>too hard on alpha without
>calibrating it, and this whole
>plan backfired.
Yep.
>
>How should I go about
>responding? Should I reframe
If you want to keep her,
you will need to own the frame.
It may be too late, she may have
been looking for a guy she could
own (like my gf).
>it as though she read the
>email wrong and that i was
>just teasing her? Would that
>work?
I don't know if it would work or not,
but it looks like your only way forward
in this relationship is to reach down,
grab your balls, and run with it.
* Be nice to imply a bit of supplication,
without explicitly supplicating.
* Tell her: "Ok, I won't mention other
chicks hitting on me anymore. I just thought
you would find it funny how slutty that
chick was telling me out-of-country
doesn't count."
* Tell her you feel bad that her day
turned out to be shitty, but that's not
your problem. You are having a good time
even though you miss her.
* Politely accuse her of lacking a sense of humor.
* In general, just don't take her response
too seriously, just seriously enough.
The biggest problem you face in this relationship
with her is that she feels totally comfortable
explicitly threatening you with the terms of
the relationship. To me, what she writes
indicates that she believes she completely
controls the frame of the relationship. She
believes herself the prize, and will dump you
the instant you don't treat as if she is the
prize. She says as much/
You need to ask yourself what you want in this
relationship, then proceed accordingly.
>
>Thanks alot you guys, you're
>the best!
-OE
ps: Not all women respond to C&F all the time.
You have to calibrate. Timing is everything.
----------------------------
OE's First Law: Any sufficiently long thread on mASF devolves into a flame war
about SS.
|
