mASF post by "AtoZ"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005>I was chatting to a girlfriend of mine (as in friend-friend) yesterday. She
> knows me from days gone by ('bout 4 years ago), when I was the poster boy
> romantic.
>
> I was telling her that I've changed a lot, which I have, 'cos to be honest
> I
> find the whole concept of 'love' between a man and a woman quite hard to
> grasp
> now. This is partly the result of relationships gone down the u-bend.
I completely understand this. Even if youre otherwise social, alpha,
interesting etc etc it still takes that extra bit of jadedness rooted in
shitty experience to raise above to a certain level of just not taking women
all that seriously.
Maybe some people are born like this, but incidentally I've observed kids
who were total bullies to girls in school grow up to be far wussier than us
nicer kids :)
On a personal front, I took a direct, heavy hit five years ago from a gf of
several-years relationship which was totally great almost to the really
crappy end. In retrospect, I appreciate the shitty breakup because potential
months on end of possible doubts and regret should the breakup be smoother
were in fact condensed into two or three weeks of
Shock/Denial/Anger/Acceptance, skipping the Self Pity parts since (I was
'the good guy' in the whole story) and giving me a serious never trust women
syndrome which kickstarted my game to a whole new height and for the years
after I couldn't be happier. Fast forward to now, I feel that I made peace
with the trust issues yet still havent had an official gf (mainly due to
having few concurrent unofficial ones throughout the entire time >:) and my
views on 'love' are not all that resolved. Playing the field and having
MLTRs doesn't help with that :)
> Whereas once upon a time I did all the romantic shit, had huge crushes on
> girls
> and generally felt that 'love would overcome', I don't really feel that
> anymore. It's not even like it's something I miss. Just something I've
> accepted.
>
> It never gets mentioned here, love. Not once. I don't think I've ever read
> a
> post that said, 'I love this chick...' or whatever. It's almost like it's
> taboo. In ASF terms, love = oneitisyou're fucked.
I believe that for people who are confident, have good pua skills and solid
emotional control - love is something they can CHOOSE, not succumb to. And
if we can rationally decide when allow ourselves to fall in love, we're
still in control and it doesnt imply supplication.
Furthermore, if we see that its going crappy, we have the emotional control
to distance ourselves. A harsh breakup helps control your crushes and
actually decide how close to a girl you wish to get. Since girls eat and
breathe emotion, playing back and forth with this distance is good for a
pickup, even =)
Bit I digress. Isn't 'love' only a bane of existense if you use it like
you're socially conditioned to? I used to be a little hung up on this as my
above paragraph may show, but ended up asking myself do I really need to be.
My gf's who arent on the special benefits program get this from me pretty
often - why - because I'm NOT AFRAID for them to misinterpret it? But
following the same logic, why should I be afraid the ones I *AM* sexing will
misinterpret? If they wish to, I can always explain to them I love them like
the bestest friend. hehe.
On this one ^^ I'd definitely LOVE some feedback :)
>
> What are you thoughts on it? Have you been screwed over by someone you
> 'loved',
> whatever that word means. Is that what brought you to ASF? Or is it just
> that
> Playa instinct in you crying out to be released?
>
That's not what brought me here, but its what led me to the types of
behaviour that eventually did :) . I was determined to leave the serious
relationship scene for some time, concentrate on my business, personal goals
and have a good ol time with as many attractive and interesting girls as I
can in the meantime. That attitude was part of why things went well, it has
done away with the entire neediness mindset because I wasnt putting that
much emphasis.
As for coming to ASF/mASF/seduction community, I figure once you decide to
proactively play the field again after a lengthy relationship, you find
yourself not really that satisfied with result ratio or spending too much
time on a pickup (unless youre a free-flying drifter, I guess). Even more so
if you ARE relatively successful in which case you intutively feel your
sticking points and looking for ways to resolve them. Tons of stuff I read
around here resonated with what I already did and allowed me to make more
sense of it or see it in a new light, and whats even more useful is seing
other people's methods which are completely different than my own yet still
work :)
So yeah, Playa instinct I guess :) ever feel that Breeding Bull in you
awaken? Most common symptom is when you start prefering Variety+Quality over
Quantity.. but the first two eventually produce the latter anyway >:)
-AtoZ
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