mASF post by "zarathustra_fi"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, May 5, 2004On 5/4/04 5:00:00 AM, Cassandra wrote:
Cassandra,
I go on commenting the rest of your mail
>Deep inside, we know that. In addition, we have not been endowed with the
upper-body physical strength that most men have. We know all too well that just
about any man half our size can take us down and beat us to a pulp. We
consider, too, that we can be raped, and this is something that I doubt EVER
crosses the average man's mind.
I agree, this does not cross the average man´s mind.
>If we agree to go anywhere alone with you, it's only after we've become
comfortable enough in your physical presence. Take it from me, that takes
awhile for some of us ladies out here. TRUST is a big issue with us.
I have been shit tested many times when a woman did not get through with her
whims with me by this ultimate shit test: ”Franco, I am scared of you, you
scare me Franco”. Translate into:”I am feeling bad because you call me on my
BS”. I swear I never touched a woman violently in my life. Anyway I recognize
that as a man for me is a little bit difficult to identify with the need for
trust women have. For me it is enough that a male friend or a woman do not
follow certain rules and they are out. I don´t need to care about trust too
much as long as rules are followed. Rules make life simple. Anyway one of the
most beautiful things in Nature is that men and women are different.
>Not that you men don't value comfort and trust, as well. I've read many of you
writing here that you don't want to get involved with psychos,
We tell that to ourselves because they are generally very hot and testosterone
would bring in the opposite direction. LOL.
>You do want women to indicate an interest in you without them being too
forward,
This is AFC. Only AFCs are afraid of women being forward.
>And you generally want to establish rapport over the span of one to two hours
after first meeting.
Ahahaha, yes. I think we mean NLP rapport. DEEP INTIMACY is a much longer
process.
>Those are interesting CONDITIONS upon meeting that both sexes appear to share.
However, we females know that you have the definite advantage. You can
overpower us, force yourselves upon us; and if we're in a very dry condition we
will experience tearing of the skin and bleeding. How likely would it ever
happen likewise, where a woman might attack your asshole in the same way? Yes,
it could happen both ways, but what I'm pointing out is that it is FAR more
likely that a woman would be attacked by a man, than how it might happen if the
tables were turned.
I agree with the interpretation but I consider a man who is satisfied with
physically forcing a woman into something or being violent to a woman as a
disgusting individual and a real jerk. To me the real pleasure of love life is
to have her SOUL and the soul cannot be forced by violence. The worst
CASTRATION a woman can do to this man is to be with him sexually without
opening her soul to him.
>I've read hundreds of threads here at FS101, and so many times I've read
(sorry to say this, but) clueless comments made by the men here that really
boggle my mind. And I realize that the erroneous notions that many of you have
are not your fault. Between society's notions and notions you've heard from
your friends, views of one-sided seduction masters, etc., these are the
conclusions you've come to over the years. We ladies have many erroneous
notions about you men, as well, and because of the same reasons. But at least
in our case, we are usually considerably more sensitive to the point where we
at least want to UNDERSTAND your position and how you feel and think.
We also want to understand your position and how you feel and think but you
often consider us as WEAK and BETA when we try to do that and that´s why we go
for the REAL POLITIK = do what brings to positive outcome with women. As men we
are concerned with RESULTS very much because in our world no one is taken
seriously without results. – I improved my relationship with my LTR by quitting
respecting her so much that I discuss with her about planning. That tells much,
doesn´t it?
>I'm not so convinced that it works that way in reverse with most men (though
I'd like to think that I'm wrong on this). I get the impression many times that
men want to find ways to deal with relationship situations without first
finding out exactly WHY they're happening in the first place. That's like
putting a little finger-cut-sized bandage on a gunshot wound. With this
approach to problem-solving, someone is going to be left bleeding to death.
Maybe BOTH someones, even.
Interesting: what you mean with ”WHY” relationships are happening in the first
place. Could you elaborate more on this?
>So, in essence, we ladies know that situations will never be completely fair
between the sexes
For biological reasons, YES.
>and most of us can accept that fact a great deal of the time. Well, we also
realize that life isn't entirely fair for anybody, overall. We're sensitive to
most things like that. You know this.
Still, all across the world we females are second class citizens in society, we
are second class in physical strength, and we are second class in social
conditioning because we are supposed to wait for you men to technically make
the first move, and it's okay for you to be angry in public but if we females
do the same we very often get chastised by men and women, alike. We are the
more sensitive and emotional side of the equation which also makes us second
class in the view of all the world's patriarchal societies, and you men prove
this by rolling your eyes and speaking sarcastically to us every time you
disagree with us, or when you see us in tears.
Why you are so unsatisfied in non patriarchal societies and punish those men
who are good to you and adore the men who are nasty to you? In the last years
any time I have been trying to be good to a woman I saw the woman starting to
go behind her most selfish interest and trying to lack of respect to me. I also
hear lot of stories from the wives who end up in my bed and those stories are
all the same ”He is a sheep. He does everything like I want”. When I do the
psychologicaly profile of the guy I find out that he is a good father, he tries
to protect her in everything, builds things for her, gives everything of him to
her. Do you know which is the worst VIOLENCE a woman can do to a man? It is
keeping him from feeling SWEET feelings toward her and doing SWEET things to
her. I a word the worst violence a woman can do to a man is to make him feel he
is USELESS. To be happy a man needs the feeling that HE IS NEEDED to others.
When a wife like the above tells around that he is a ”sheep” because he wants
to be useful to her and the family she is killing him psychologically.
>Note, too, how most women you meet are not competitive, as compared to men
with each other. You men have Leader/Follower mindsets, and we women have
Committee mindsets. Most of us females truly want everyone to get along, as
much as is possible. Most females *I* know, at least, are this way.
Because it is a very comfortable position.
>But you know what I don't get? The attitude of men who act like they've lost
power that they supposedly once had at some point in time in history. Sorry,
but from where I'm standing it appears that you've always had the REAL power,
that you still have it NOW and that you will ALWAYS have it.
Really? You mean those ”sheep” husbands I am talking about have real power??? I
would prefer to sign into the Stranger Legion instead of being ONE SINGLE DAY a
family father whose wife goes around in bars telling that he is a sheep because
he builds the house for her.
>And this is coming from a very strong-willed woman who is very successful in
the real world, too. In a male-dominated business, no less. Most of my really
good friends are men. I get to hear a great deal about their girlfriends, their
wives, you name it; and I know from personal experience that it's rare that
either side is completely blameless.
Of course. In a relationship both have responsibilities.
>Still, you men will always have a greater degree of personal power than we
women will ever have. That alone makes the average male attractive to us,
alongside whatever other attributes we also like about him.
Power and attraction go together. Did you read the novel ”The Unbearable
Lightness of Being?” especially the part where Franz and Sabina talk about
power and erotic life? I agree with Sabina on the subject: there is no
erotic/love life without the exerting of power.
>In any case, this is where we females stand, all across the globe. We know
that you, as men, have an enormous number of advantages that we will never
have. And you don't have to cower down and feel sorry for us. I'm not asking
that, and neither are most women on this planet. WE JUST WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHERE WE'RE COMING FROM. The world we all live in has been created by our
ancestors, for the most part. But it would be nice if you could realize what's
REALLY going on in our minds, and not use this information against us by making
our second class status in the world even more demeaning than it already is.
I think that a man who hates women is a very weak individual.
>Now let me tell you some things I learned many years ago when I was studying
Psychiatry, and also from interacting with many different people in long-term
relationships in the real world. If one person gets enraged over something that
the other person has said or done, and it doesn't really matter whether it's a
small issue or a large one, ask yourself what's REALLY going on? Does the
seemingly wounded party want power (is she a control freak?), or love (can you
show that you care when she's feeling insecure? Do you even know when she's
feeling insecure?), or is she just wanting a reasonable response from you (do
you find that you always have to be right)?
What if the thing is – this happened to me 3 years ago, she is next now – that
the woman, after having been in a relationship with you only couple of months
and claiming to be desperately in love, shouts in front of her girlfriends to
him: ”Franco do food for us NOW!” and later becomes a real bitch because Franco
does not agree to be nice to her when she is THAT direct ( I told her ”ask
politely or do the food yourself) and does not agree to fuck her in the same
bed where she has been with her husband only A WEEK after the husband left and
prefers to meet her at his flat for a matter of respect toward him? We had a
terrible fight with this lady for both reasons. She felt she has the right to
speak so directly to me and that she has the right to pretend that I go to fuck
her at her home in that bed because ”I like the garden of my apartment”. I
would never bring a woman to the same bed where I have been with my wife.
>The #1 complaint that most women register with me about the men they love is
that their men are so incredibly impatient about things that don't really
matter, and that it gets in the way of good communication between them.
Interesting: tell more about this, elaborate more. I know what you are talking
about but I am very interested in hearing more from a female perspective about
this.
>The #2 complaint that most women register with me about the men they love is
that as soon as a man starts having regular sex with them, he starts acting
like he owns them, and that that gets in the way of good communication between
them.
That is stupid, that´s why I always openly talk with a woman at the beginning
of relationship with her is she willing to be with me:
FB
MLTR
LTR/Wife
And then act congruent with it.
I do that because I know that I cannot control/own the soul of the other
person. Also I do that because when we have agreed about which is the kind of
our relationship I can also know how I act in the relationship. Of course many
women don´t like this because they would like to have the right in the
relationship to ACT OUT their emotions from a day to another and we would be
betaised by just watching at it. NO WAY. Only a looser/AFC would agree to that.
>But ask yourself -- what kind of day was that person already having, to begin
with? Or both people? Perhaps both people were already having a bad day?
(Whether one is male or female, it works the same way, and forget that bullshit
notion that men don't react emotionally. Perhaps they don't come to tears as
easily as most women do, and they do a good job of learning how to hide what
they're feeling, but men react with emotion just as females do. If they didn't,
they wouldn't be human at all. They'd be robots.)
We are very good in repressing feelings. We had to leave for Crusades and let
the beloved ones at home. We learned to keep the tears inside.
In any case, don't we humans normally go more overboard if a problem crops up
and we're already having a miserable day to begin with?
>I've had clerks at stores treat me badly for no good reason at all. Most
people would say that I should punish them for their rotten behavior. NO.
That's not the way to take care of it! Why do that, as it will only further
aggravate the condition they're in? Why pour salt on an open wound? Have some
compassion for them, no matter what is happening in their life. What I do is
this: I step into a genuinely sympathetic demeanor and say something like this,
"Gee, you appear to be having a really bad day today. I bet someone has done
something to make you miserable. And I don't know the situation but I hope it
clears up for you really soon." It amazes me at how often they sigh and take a
deep breath, because SOMEBODY understands. Then I see the complete turnaround
in attitude, where they apologize for their attitude and offer to do anything
for me that I want or need.
I really appreciate this. I would like to be able to do the same. My HONOR code
keeps me from being able to do like this. There are situations in relationship
which are like a declaration of war. Also if I would do like this with a woman
who lacks of respect to me I would loose her as a woman and destroy the
emotional and sexual relationship with her. The more I love her the more I call
her on her behavior.
>A surly clerk is an acquaintance that we all can run into in the real world,
but how do you normally treat that woman in your relationship who has seemingly
gone overboard by either picking and/or escalating a fight with you, or by
completely shutting down on you? Do you regularly ignore that woman or make it
clear to her that she's not all that important in your life, by hinting that if
she doesn't do exactly as you say, she's very easily replaceable?
Maybe this can seem unbelievable to you but when I am in the position to do
that she did something to me who was so unacceptable that I had no other
choice. Like the shout ”Franco DO FOOD for us now!” The same woman did not like
that I want to wash my clothes myself and otherwise don´t like if someone else
is maternal to me and told me 10 times every time we went out ”do you have
enough clothes on you Franco” in spite of the fact that I told her she does not
need to be that protective to me. Why she did not listen? I was not attacking
her. I was only setting the limits of how I like to be ”touched” emotionally.
>If a woman feels insecure in her relationship with a man she cares for, it's
amazing the things she might do to get him to give her what she feels that she
needs. And why is that? That's easy. All she wants is to know that you CARE.
Too many women use this as a controlling mean: to be insecure about the
relationship. Very long post. I need to go again. I will comment the rest, too
as soon as I have some time.
Franco
http://www.franco-seduction.com
Online Seduction School for Single Men, Husbands & Players
"Sarge Est Necesse, Vivere Necesse Non Est " Gnaeus Pompeius, revised
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