mASF post by "grammatica"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005"What amazes me, is how natural some of this is to me
sometimes, and then other times, I'm a total dork."
- Robert1
---
Being Alpha, Cocky & Funny, getting over rejection
all have similar elements of .. confrontation that
only enforced a confrontational/socially awkward
frame of mind that I already had when I began absorbing
all of this.
Most of the reason I'm shy is because of how I
perceive interacting with other people: I'm scared
and intimidated by not only the the initial contact
(How will it go? How will they react?) but also
(ironically) by what could happen if it goes well!
I mean, I'm not going to immediately get along
with this person which means that the next
confrontation will also be a challenge.
Focusing on competition with other males, or my relative
'status' to them (alpha), my social status (social proof),
challenging and making a target laugh (C&F),
and going out on a limb to ask for something
(rejection) are obviously all things
that in this context only enforce a confrontational
view of the world.
However much I pushed against "this" world, the
energy that it was "taking" out of me was always
more than the energy I was putting into it: in
other words, I was constantly fighting imaginary
resistance and constantly being challenged by
how I perceived the people around me.
This isn't to say that you don't need to initially
push against your own social perceptions. As I
see it, mASF is hacking the social structure that
not only exists in other people's minds but also
(and mostly) in our own.
Some of you (hopefully most of you) won't have
this problem. This post is for those of you who do.
What's helped me the most is simply assuming
(correctly!) that most people are friendly.
Most people want to be my friends. Hell, let's stop
with the "Most people" and just say everyone.
Putting aside all of the game (inner and outer) that
you can throw into a conversation, everyone with
whom I've started up a "accepted" conversation
has responded at the very least politely if not also
nicely back.
(an "accepted" conversation is in which both you
and the subject are in the 'frame' that you're just
talking to pass the time, because one of you needs
information, or because you both just experienced
something amazing. -- this is in contrast to a "forced"
conversation when you or the subject is in the 'frame'
that there's something not entirely.. normal going on. )
Unfortunately, I have the idea that a lot of readers
will just say to themselves "But I do that anyway, and
don't get what you're going on about.. ".
It gets down to this: much like a lot of other
mASF stuff, it's about becoming aware of how
you perceive and react to other people. I became
aware of how I was seeing people, and am
changing it. It feels great and I have twice,
three times the energy to go out and interact
with people -- because I know it will be fun.
Props to Senor Fingers for planting this seed.
Thanks to Thundercat for his blog/archive and
for watering the seed.
Major props to myself for sticking with it,
and ending up with a FB who's sms'ed me begging
for sex.
Grammatica
Whose world are you living in?
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