Disclaimer: This FAQ is no more of an official FAQ for the ASF/mASF
(alt.seduction.fast/alt.seduction.fast.*) and newsgroups than any other FAQ someone might
compile. It is merely a collection of opinions of what the author(s) and contributors
believe to be helpful information to ASF newcomers, organized in a clear and concise way.
Suggestions and contributions are welcome, although the authors reserve the right of final
decision as to what ends up in this document - contact information is at the end of this
document. This FAQ is, however, official in regards to the moderated ASF forums available
through the Fast Seduction 101 systems at http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/.
The policies laid out in this document are expected to be followed strictly when posting
to the moderated ASF forums.
Q: "If ordinary guys get laid why do I need all this
information?"
You can find the answer to that question at:
http://www.fastseduction.com/youarenew/why.shtml
Q: "What's the best way to learn all this stuff? There
is so much material!"
You can find the answer to that question at:
http://www.fastseduction.com/youarenew/
Q: "Where can I meet women?"
A: Just about anywhere. Location is really not too important. The obviously
blatant pick up places like clubs and bars will have more potentially available women but
that scene is also difficult to succeed in if you have no pick up skills yet. When
starting out, you can use those places as practice. Think of it as a game where winning or
losing doesn't matter - it's the fun of seeing what responses you get that's important.
Anywhere you find a woman that attracts you is a great opportunity to say something new,
different. Study the responses, adjust your responses from past results and eventually
you'll see that women can be met anywhere - the trick is attracting them once you find
them.
More suggestions:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=98107424888714
An article with even more suggestions:
http://www.fastseduction.com/articles/niches.shtml
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I approach women?"
A: In the beginning, as you're learning, quickly and without hesitation. The
more you think about what you want to say and how you want to say it, the more likely it
is that you'll discourage yourself from the actual approach and psych yourself out. You
must act so quickly that you don't have time to think. Say the first thing that comes to
mind. If nothing comes to mind say "Hi, I noticed something about you..." Then
pause and wait for her to say "What? What did you notice?" (women are intensely
curious when such a comment is made to them). The few seconds it takes her to get
impatient and ask you what you noticed is probably enough time for you to take a closer
look at her and actually find something to say. "I noticed you're halfway through the
book you're reading - what's it about?" or "I noticed the deep tan you have -
did you just come back from a tropical vacation?" Whatever - anything that could
possibly lead to a continued conversation. The more answers you're able to get out of her,
the more questions you end up being able to ask until eventually a full blown conversation
takes place and you get a better opportunity to create rapport with her - a connection.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is the 'Universal Opener'?"
A: "Hi."
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I hide my nervousness around a woman? How
can I fix my shyness?"
A: What makes you nervous is taking yourself too seriously and thinking too much
about what she thinks (or will think) of you. Shyness can't be fixed or hidden - you
simply have to disregard the negative thoughts your mind is telling you. Approaching women
quickly, more often, and without thinking about what you're going to say first will
strengthen your resolve over time and diminish those types of thoughts running through
your mind. Never approach a woman thinking "I must absolutely make a good first
impression or she'll never..." Instead think, "I wonder what she'll do when I
tell her X, Y , or Z" and don't worry so much that she might not respond the way you
want - most women won't. At least not until you've gained rapport and a chance to lead the
conversation (and her) in the direction you want to go.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How does height (or generally the way one looks, or
how old one is) influence success with women?"
A: It doesn't influence success all that much except in extreme situations. And,
even in those situations, you focus n adjustign what you can (environment, kind of women
you choose, relevant tactics). Frankly, the only time it truly matters is if there are
other guys attracting her attention in the immediate vicinity who are
taller/younger/richer/etc. AND have a personality edge over you. If you find yourself in
those types of situations too often, you need to improve your personality and charisma or
change your environment when finding women to pick up. Focus on the things you CAN
change or improve, not the things you can't.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I build and improve my self-confidence and
charm?"
A: Start simple. Don't try everything you've learned all at once. Approach many
women. Say whatever comes to mind. Study the responses. Carry it as far as you can go and
if it doesn't work out, find another woman and try again. Over time, not only will you
learn how to quickly gain rapport with almost any woman, you'll also gradually gain
confidence, quick-thinking for immediate conversation starters, and the ability to stretch
"fluff talk" long enough to elicit her values (her value words) which can then
help you lead the conversation. For example, if she says "I like bright
colors..." or "It's a really bright day out..." then you can ask "What
is it about bright, colorful things that you like so much? She might respond "They
remind me of my youth - carefree times". Then you can lead the conversation into
things that associate you with memories of her youth, and reinforce the idea that you are
a carefree person. Practice methods like this over and over with different women until it
becomes part of your nature. You will then have self-confidence and charm without ever
thinking about it.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Do commercially sold pheromones (or any pheromones
for that matter) work to help attract women?"
A: First, you must understand and accept that the most potent attraction tool
you can ever use is your brain. Although pheromones have been scientifically proven to
affect mating actions in various creatures, there's been no ultimately conclusive
scientifically repeatable study done on humans. So, until that happens, the answer is NO. However,
there is a lot of information on the Internet about pheromones (just do a
search on Google or Yahoo). A reader, Alex, sent me a thesis paper on the subject
available at http://www.fastseduction.com/archives/PheromonesPaper.zip which may be interesting to read. Although this paper can be distributed for non-profit
interests, all other rights are retained by the original author.
If anyone can provide me with more insightful information, legitimate studies available
on the topic, resources, and (assuming there are some commercially available pheromones do
work) a list of products along with rating, company name, and ordering information.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is wrong with me?"
A: Nothing. Any doubt you have in yourself is insecurity you are emanating to
others. If you don't like yourself, how do you expect others to like you? If you ever find
yourself thinking "What is wrong with me?", change the thought to "I can't
wait for her to find out what a great guy I am. It will be a shame for her if she doesn't
get the chance."
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What does a woman want to see in a man she just
meets?"
A: A man who isn't like other men. Someone with the ability to challenge her. A
man who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it."
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What does it mean when a woman says 'I want a man
who knows what he wants and knows how to get it.'?"
A: When women say "I want a man who knows what he wants and knows how to
get it." she is actually saying: "I want to be chased. When a man chases me, I
feel better about myself." It also means she's in control to a certain degree, and
although I would say that she THINKS she wants to be in control, she really doesn't
because if the man knows what he wants, then she's abdicating responsibility to a degree
and subsuming her desires for his.
~Hugh, ASF, 1999/04/15
Be careful, however, when applying the "chase" methodology. Women are
sometimes charmed by a man who actively "chases" them but the part of that which
is actually attractive is the idea of pusuit without concern over outcome. If you actively
pursue a woman and she becomes your only focus and you do things for her as your primary
tactic to get her interested in you, she will not be attracted to that.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "When is the best time to hug, kiss, or shake hands
after meeting a woman?"
A: It depends on the situation, but don't think of it as "hugging, kissing,
or shaking hands." Think of it as basically physical touching, and do it whenever it
could come off as the most natural thing to do. For example, when talking to a woman at a
bar (which might be crowded and noisy), lean in and talk very close into her ear while
touching the side of her arm or elbow. This type of touching is also known as a
"kinesthetic approach", kino for short. You want a women, soon after meeting
her, to feel comfortable (and possibly aroused) with this type of touching from you. It
displays to her that you are a sexual being and are not afraid to move in close or make
contact. Don't treat touching like a business affair, treat it like subtle animalistic
human contact. Your hand stroking her hair, touching her hand, arm around her shoulder,
whispering in her hear and making sure your lips brush against her lobes. That sort of
thing. Obviously not done when first running into a woman on the street but over time with
practice you'll learn when the right time is. But keep in mind that if you wait too long
before first starting kino, it may come off as unatural. First and foremost, you want to
be congruent with how you act.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Why don't women like 'nice guys'? Why do they like
'bad boys'?"
A: Contrary to popular opinion, women do like nice guys. What they don't like is
guys who let women walk all over them. They don't want a doormat and they don't want a
supplicating fool. Women walk all over nice guys because nice guys let them do it. Women
*want* to be treated like ladies, with respect and adoration, but they don't know what to
do when they are treated that way. They are simply not wired to expect this sort of
treatment from a man who could be a potential mate. It's not the type of behavior that
arouses them. In fact, it has the opposite affect. But that doesn't mean you need to be a
"bad boy" or jerk to get what you want, it just means that you have to show
women that you cannot be walked all over. It means you DON'T supplicate yourself with a
woman. Think of it like a reward system. In order for you to do something nice for her,
she MUST first do something nice for you. Not the other way around. For example, past
posts from Nathan on ASF outlined the following example to explain the reward system:
You're at a club/bar/whatever and see an attractive woman sitting/standing alone
waiting to pick up her drink or basically not doing anything. Move in and say "If you
buy me a drink, I'll let you kiss me." Sure, it doesn't work in all scenarios, and
doesn't work with all guys/women or personality types but if you dissect the problem,
you'll notice a few key things you've portrayed to her in a rather short comment:
- You're a man who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it."
- You don't supplicate by asking to buy her a drink. Instead, you suggest she buys YOU a
drink.
- You're telling her that you'll "reward" her, but only if she provides you with
something you want.
- The "reward" is actually something *you* want but it doesn't come off that
way.
- You're fun and daring.
Once in a while, some woman will actually take you up on the offer and not only do you
turn the game around, but other women at the club/bar/whatever will notice this (without
knowing what you said to her) and their own interest will be enhanced, opening up more
opportunities.
An average chump, on the other hand, will usually awkwardly hang around the bar wand
wait to find women who they can offer to buy drinks FOR. Losers. AFCs. Supplicators.
"Nice guys." They're the first to get stepped on, used, then ignored, and the
last to get laid. These guys will call getting laid "getting lucky" because
that's what it takes for them to successfully seduce a woman - luck.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "If I'm not supposed to be a 'nice guy', do I have to
be a jerk?"
A: Not in the least. The nice guy / jerk spectrum is too wide to describe the
actual personality you should be displaying to women. People only think "jerks"
because jerks never supplicate. But you don't have to be a jerk to avoid supplication and
you don't have to be obnoxious to get what you want.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I change my 'nice guy' image?"
A: What you want to do is learn the types of actions that might label you an
Average Frustrated Chump (AFC). Then avoid doing those things. An example, don't bring a
woman flowers if you're just asking her to coffee. Don't ask for her number before
conveying personality and gaining rapport - in fact, don't ask for her number at all
directly. Let her figure that out when you end a conversation and indicate you have
somewhere else to be ("I enjoyed our conversation. I have to go now - what do you
think we need to do in order to continue this at another time?") or be direct and
SUGGEST that she give you her number. If you've successfully attracted her, she'll whip
out a paper/pen because she'll WANT to give you her number. Don't compliment her
excessively when first meeting her (although, ocasionally, it helps to give a woman ONE
*honest* compliment when first approaching on her). Don't put her on a pedestal. Don't
spend money or a lot of time on a particular woman unless she's already reciprocated your
attempts at attention.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What are the best openers (pick up lines) when
meeting women?"
A: In general, "pick up lines" suck. A simple "Hello" is
much better than a line anyone can give you. The reason is that a canned, contrived line
sounds like just what it is: canned and contrived. Remember Mystery's formula: FMAC (Find
Meet Attract Close). You do not hit on her. You display personality, make her like you,
elicit her values, reflect them back at her, then structure an opportunity for her to
spend time with you. A pickup line that sounds like a pick up line makes you sound
unoriginal. How many lines do you think she's heard that night?
The exception is GM style - an advanced method that uses crude lines and filthy jokes
in a fun, "just-kidding" way.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
An added note regarding "pick-up lines": Through the course of reading
information on FastSeduction.com, you'll come across many examples of canned
"openers". Those are not so much "pick-up lines" as they are a
conversational structure for initiatign conversation. Those canned openers are very useful
to guys first starting out and getting used to approachign and talking to a lot of women,
but you must remember to never allow such canned material to become a cructh for you.
You can use the material to get you started and get over any approach fears you
might have, but then gradually challenge yourself to find more creative and dynamic ways
to open up conversations with women.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is Mystery's 'Elvis opener/script'?"
A: First, you should understand that this is an EXAMPLE only of how to do a
canned opener. It is NOT something you should do verbatim. Seduction is a process and has
a structure but regurgitating words you've read from the Internet is not the way to seduce
or even attract a woman, although it might give you the initial attention you'll need to
progress to something else. The "Elvis script" (as well as "Blonde
opener", "ESP routine" etc.) has become somewhat of an unspoken joke around
mASF and it's frankly quite disturbing that so many newbies and AFCs beg to get a hold of
it, as if they have no creativity, capability, or desire to learn how to structure a PU
that they think they need and can get away with using some overused, canned opener and
script. The question you need to ask yourself is: "OK, I repeat this stuff to a
chick. Then what?" If you don't know what happens after "Then what?", you
clearly won't understand the purpose of this example and you've got to keep learning and,
more importantly, go out into the field and try a lot of DIFFERENT things, watch for
reactions, see what happens.
Alright, in light of all that, and because it gets asked way too often on ASF, here's
the damn Elvis script:
"Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural hair
color?"
"Dirty Blond."
"Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair?"
"I don't know what her natural hair color was, I'm not Cliff Claven, but can you
picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye their hair black together around a
dirty sink in some sick mass-appealing ceremonial ritual? I bet people never considered
that before ... did you?"
Alternative:
"Did you know that all Elvis had to do to get a shag was look directly into the
girl's eyes and smile?"
Then look into the chick's eyes and smile.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is the best attitude to have when trying to
attract women?"
A: I am the prize. I like what I see so far, so I'll give her an opportunity to
show me that she's worth my time and effort. If she rejects me, she's a fool. I'll just go
find the next lucky chick and let her have what this chick is throwing away.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Also, it's a very good idea to shut off that whiny voice inside your head when meeting
and attempting to attract a woman. Don't listen to any voice in your head that says
"Am I doing this right?", "What is she thinking about me?", "Are
other people watching?", "Damn, she's so beautiful.", "I'm so
nervous..."
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What does one talk about when first approaching a
girl? Should certain topics be emphasized/avoided?"
A: This is called "fluff talk" and usually the best topic of
conversation is what the girl is interested in. Unless you're braindead, you can usually
get to this by asking someone general questions about the surroundings/environment,
something you noticed about her, a funny thing that popped into your head, if she's with a
group of people (men, women, or a mixture) "So, how do you all know each other?"
Or maybe compliment of piece of clothing and ask her where she got it. Whatever. The point
is to let her lead into a topic that perhaps she's interested in, not to dwell on the
fluff topics. Then ask a few more questions (not too many or she'll feel like she's being
grilled), get some answers and you're done "fluff talking", ready to get into
the good stuff.
Topics to be avoided unless SHE brings them up AND appears to be very interested in
them (in regards to herself): work, school, weather, sports.
Topics to be avoided at all costs: anything negative. If a chick brings up
something negative, find a way to subtly change the subject into somethign positive or
change her negative perception into a positive one.
Topics, that if you get into, will draw you into the LJBF zone: Listening to her drone
on and on about her current relationships wihtout using that material to elicit what it
will take to attract and/or seduce her. In those situations, only listen to her talk
about it enough to get what you need to progress the conversation where you want it to go.
Otherwise, even if you are eliciting information from her rambling on about her man
related problems or past relationships or frustration with a current male interest, she
won't know you are listening in order to find a means to attract and seduce her - her
thoughts will drift into the zone that you will be a prime candidate for LJBF.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I have a 1 on 1 conversation with a woman
('how do I talk to women')?"
A: Check out http://www.pickupguide.com/ and look at the Maniac Plan. This has example stories, what kind of things to talk
about, and what order to talk in. There's about 2-4 hours worth of topics. You can always
make yourself some notes... If you get lost, go to the john and refresh your memory. Keep
in mind that the Maniac Plan is just a loose structure to help you keep up a long
conversation with many opportunities to pick up on values and "trance" words the
target may utter. It's a good idea to use the Maniac Plan as a starter and then
build up your own stories and conversation pieces.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is 'Paralysis of Analysis' (coined by Vincent)
and associated conditions?"
Paralysis of Analysis is when a guy is over-thinking a situation as it is happening,
causing him to literally paralyze himself from acting one way or another. In most
circumstances, it's best to at least work on what you WANT to do (or at least on instinct
if it compels you to do something) than to allow yourself to freeze up.
More from Jetman:
Pancake Ass:
A condition that results in the ass being in the shape of a pancake (flat) from sitting
too long, contemplating action, instead of taking it.
Student Complex:
A condition that results from someone studying, researching, and reading about actions to
take, while not having enough field experience to know what part of the material to apply
to a given situation.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I convey personality?"
A: First, don't confuse "personality" to mean goofiness or acting
eccentric. Conveying personality means portraying yourself as someone who is entertaining,
confident, and at ease in his environment, someone who can stand out on his own rather
than depending on external factors such as clothes, choice of friends, venue, gimmicks,
etc. But before portraying that, you must first make a woman totally fascinated by you.
This can be done in your initial approach, with the type of opener you choose or the
initial things you say or ask.
Think about what most guys say to a woman when they first approach them and ask
yourself "Is this something she's heard 100 times already?" It may be OK if you
plan to simply fluff talk with her first but ask yourself if you can be better than that
and say something unexpected, something she isn't likely to have ever heard before.
Generally, this might actually be what you really want to say to her since it will at
least come across as honest and sincere. But that depends on the circumstance and things
you might need to work against like obstacles/cockblocks or "bitch shields".
Still, don't underestimate the power of the Universal Opener, or the power of EC and a smile.
Now, to portay personality, isn't so much trying to be a character but rather be a
certain way. For example, if she is with a group, convey joy in getting to know the
people in her group before putting your focus on HER. If an obstacle cockblocks you, don't get angry or frustrated but rather disable the obstacle by diverting your
attention to them and warm them up - pacify them, don't be afraid to lose the taget's
attention. Disabling an obstacle should only take a 5-20 seconds. Tell your target
something quirky or funny but don't be overly excited. Radiate happiness but not so much
that it comes off as fake. Remember to smile. Remember to use kino, touch her arm when you
lean in to talk to her, show no fear of intimacy. Don't slouch. Pay attention to what she
says and mirror her values back to her in your language. Mirror her body postures and
mannerisms. Mirror her breathing. There are a ton of other things you can do which will
not only let you portray youself as someone with "personality" but will also
help you establish rapport with her.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I make a woman see me as an opportunity
rather than just another guy?"
A: First, you need to convey personality to her - fascinate her and establish to
her that you are interesting, beyond just an initial glance. It doesn't matter if your
life might be viewed as "boring" or "average" (i.e. you're an
accountant and aren't an outdoors type or don't go out and party every night), as long as
you can fascinate her with your initial approach (or after some initial fluff talk), stir
her emotions, and then pace and lead her emotions. Do all of that and simultaneously build
rapport (through your language, mirroring) and anchor all those new good feelings she's
having to YOU.
Even doing all that, your job isn't over. All of that setup is meaningless to YOU
unless you structure an opportunity for her to get with you. Structuring an opportunity
doesn't mean ask her for her number or ask her out. It means present an opportunity for
HER to decide to get with you - whether that means immediately or some time in the near
future. You don't want to be seen as someone who's looking for something or someone to add
to your life, you already HAVE a life and have this interesting, amaazing quality about
you. If she wants to be a part of that or get a piece of that, SHE is the one who should
take the opportunity you present.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What does a woman mean when she says...?"
A: Just about anything. But generally, depending on the context of conversation,
a woman will be giving you clues as to what she wants and, in doing so, will basically
provide you with a roadmap of what it will take to seduce her. Sometimes a women
will say somethign to "test" your response. Be aware that the meaning
behind what women say could have a subtext and that subtext could either be an avenue to
learn about what it will take to attract/seduce her or a means for her to test your
response.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What's the best way to answer the question 'What do
you do for a living?'?"
A: With passion and in a positive light. Whatever it is, act as if its great,
and you're doing exactly what you want to be doing. If you work someplace where this isn't
really believable (say, McDonalds) say you're going to school to be XXX. If you're not in
school, say you're saving up for tuition, or working toward management. You want to appear
as someone with ambition, or as chicks so often put it "a man who knows what he wants
and how to get it."
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Always keep in mind that she's not asking you because she really and truly cares what
you do for a living, she just wants some insight into who you are so there's no reason not
to give it a positive spin.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Why do women do what they do (what is 'chick
logic')?"
A: Chick logic is a misnomer. It is NOT logical. Chicks base their decisions
about relationships on their emotional state at that time. They then justify their actions
later. Essentially, they do what they want then make up a reason for doing so later.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Note: When discussing "chick logic", some might bring up the term "guy
logic". Don't be fooled into thinking the terms are equivalent. "Guy logic"
basically means LOGIC. Logic doesn't get you laid. Trying to understand chick logic won't get you laid. Understanding how to read a woman, know what she is feeling, and
leading her states/imagination WILL get you laid.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Why don't (most) women ask men out?"
A: Just accept it as fact and move on. It's a societal thing, not worth trying
to figure out. There are multitudes of reasons, almost all based on chick logic.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is mirroring, how is it used, and what does it
do?"
A: Mirroring is a means to gain subcoscious rapport with someone by copying them
physically and verbally. For example, if you are sitting across from someone and they
cross their leg, you would cross yours. If they are tilting their head, you tilt your
head. If they are talking slowly, you talk slowly. You can also try to pay attention to
their breathing rhythm and match it (but only if you can pull it off without staring at
their chest! - some guys have suggested using your peripheral vision for this). Voice
tonality and and subtle mannerisms can also be mirrored. Generally, when people gain true
rapport with someone, the physical and verbal mirroring happens naturally. By being
consciously aware of your own body language and matching it to someone else's while in
conversation with them, you can give their subconscious mind the impression that rapport
already exists.
Some people worry that mirroring will be too obvious and that the other person will
"catch" them. However, unless you're being blatantly obvious, exaggerating your
mirroring, or copying everything they do, they will simply accept it without consciously
realizing. As an excercise, go out and find people who seem to have good rapport and watch
their body language as they communicate. Also, go out and try to be blatantly obvious with
your mirroring and see how much you can get away with before getting "caught".
Timing your mirroring has a lot to do with the subtlety of it. Usually you'll want to
wait 2-3 seconds before matching someone's actions. Then, gradually close the time gap
(pacing) until, eventually, you are leading and the other person is mirroring you. Once
you notice them subconsciously mirroring you, then you will know rapport has been gained.
Here are some good, clear posts on mirroring:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97852408483677
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97852408583680
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97858890983788
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97848089683604
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is a 'neg' or 'neg hit' or 'neg theory'?"
A: It's an approach/attract theory from Mystery. A negative remark towards a
girl designed to break her indifference to you by showing her that you are indifferent to
her beauty (or other striking features). Not an insult, that would be bad. More like
"Those are interesting nails - are they real?" or "It's really cute how
your nose wiggles when you talk - look, there it goes again! <chuckle>". No
more than 2 negs on an average HB (7-9/7-9), a maximum of 3 on a super HB (10/10). Negs are pretty much a necessity for 10s or strippers (whether they're 10s or not - simply
because they are in an environment which is condusive to them thinking they are 10s).
Negs to anything below an everage HB is generally BAD unless the chick is giving off
vibes that she THINKS she is a 9/10.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is the 3s (3 second) rule?"
Note: The "3s / 3 second" rule was originally coined by Mystery on ASF. A
description is also available in the acronym page at http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml.
A: FWIW, the 3S Rule is generally considered to be operant in almost all
situations. IOW, it's not the 3 Second Nightclub Rule, the 3 Second Bus Stop Rule, the 3
Second Street Rule, etc...
The 3S Rule is basically a guideline for making a decisive move on an HB Target, as
soon as is practicable, and without hesitation. Hesitation is usually a sign of weakness,
indecision, and lack of confidence. Since confidence is something that almost all women
desire in, and find attractive about men, the rule is meant to serve as a principle of
moving quickly to show strength, confidence and intent, and therefore attractiveness...
Almost all AFCs will sit and watch a girl, wondering if they should approach, and
eventually talking themselves out of making said approach. A PUA will not hesitate.
One other thing. This may seem contrary to the spirit of the 3S rule, but it is
nonetheless a field-proven tenet: 3 seconds is only a guideline. Sometimes it takes more
than three ticks to get to an HB, or to get in a position to do something that would
require the rule to be in effect. So, it's really a precept of approaches to do something
ASAP, or risk losing stature in the eyes of some HB.
~Jack, ASF, 1999/11/12
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I know if she likes me?"
A: Watch her body language. Listen to her responses to you. If/how she touches
you. Her facial expressions. Is she twirling her hair? Licking her lips? Hips facing you?
Complimenting you? Listening attently? Nodding her head in agreement with you? Leaning
into you? Touching your arm or hands (anywhere) or your back? Starting to talk about
sensual/sexual things? Eyebrows raised a bit? Eyes wide open? Smiling? Teeth when smiling?
Head slightly tilted? Eyes and attention remains on you?
If you've got her number and have called her more than once to set up a date and she
keeps cancelling or making excuses, she DOES NOT like you. That, or she's doing "The
Rules" (some chick guide book) and you probably don't want to get with her anyway. If
she never returns your calls, she DOES NOT like you. Note that this is not the same as you
expecting her to call on her own without a request from you to call back. If you've spent
a lot of time with her but have not sexed her and she dumps all her life shit on you, you
have become her grilfriend and are in LJBF land. She might like you, but she won't have
sex with you. If you sense this coming and want to avoid it, shift gears. Do or say
something unexpected. Start displaying more sexuality. Improve and intensify the kino.
Lead her, don't let her lead you.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I get a woman who is not interested, to go
out with me?"
A: You can't, but that's obvious. She has to have some interest in you in order
to "go out" with you so the real question should be "How do I get a woman
interested in me so that she'll want to go out with me?" The steps to doing that are
all over this FAQ.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What do I do if she says she has a boyfriend?"
A: First of all, in your initial meeting with a woman, don't go out of your way
to ask if she has a boyfriend unless it is part of the conversation. Asking about it will
give her the impression that you're trying to get with her and your approach will lose
some strength. A woman will introduce the boyfriend (real or not) into the conversation in
2 ways:
1. "I have a boyfriend." This is usually given as a response to you asking
her for something ("Can I have your number?", "Let's go out.",
"Let's get to know each other better.", etc.). If that is her first response,
you have not done enough work to attract her or you have supplicated to her (asked her for
something - her number, a date, whatever) and did not structure an opportunity for HER to
get with YOU rather that YOU trying too hook up with HER. At this point, don't give up
(especially if you seem to be setting up some good rapport). Rather, regroup, refocus, and
reframe the situation in your mind. Don't make her boyfriend mention a big deal and simply
keep building up your personality. Don't TELL her you're a super/great/awesome guy. SHOW
her by your actions, your mannerisms, your confidence. Give her the subtle impression that
whoever ger boyfriend is, he doesn't have what you have. He can't offer what you offer.
Then, instead of supplicating to her again (asking for number, blah blah), structure an
opportunity. If she doesn't take the bait, move on.
2. "Yeah, blah blah, my boyfriend did that the other day. Blah blah." A lot
of the time when a woman mentions her boyfriend (real or not) in this way (as part of her
conversation rather than as an excuse for not getting with you), she is doing 2 things.
She is asserting her desireability and quality, and she is testing to see your reaction.
Treat it as simply part of the conversation. Remember, just because a chick says she has a
boyfriend does not mean he makes her happy, satisfies her, or is meaningful to her at all.
Wommen CHOOSE to be with someone and they can CHOOSE to not be with that someone and be
with you. Your job is to attract her, get her excited about you, then structure an
opportunity for her to get with you.
Suggestion from Maniac High:
Maniac: I am pretty busy right now, so lets go to coffee and get to know each other a bit
more.
Chick: I have a boyfriend.
Maniac: So what does that have to do with anything?.. I mean I didn't ask him to coffee, I
asked YOU. How about next Thursday?
An important note: JUST because she says she has a boyfriend, does NOT mean that she is
offering up resistance. She might have OTHER reasons for saying she has a boyfriend. Let's
review:
Reasons why chicks say they have a boyfriend:
1) Some women ALWAYS say they have a BF as a way of testing or prescreening a guy. She
wants to see if he is weak or if he persists. She is determining if you are someone that
she might want to spend time with.
2) She really has a BF and she is fulfilled/satisfied with that relationship.
3) She doesn't have a BF, she's just saying that because she's not attracted to you.
(NOTE: If she DOES have a BF, and she IS attracted to you, many times she will
"forget" to mention him!)
4) She DOES have a BF, she IS willing to sleep with you; she just wants to make sure
you understand her situation. She wants DISCRETION and UNDERSTANDING. And though she might
be available to you for sex, she's NOT available for a commitment.
5) She DOES have a BF, but doesn't want to feel guilty about cheating on him. This is
classic "chick logic" at work here and is good, because it means you are on your
way to a fuck, even in spite of the BF... Basically this happens because she thinks that
if she tells you about the BF now, she can relax and let you fuck her anyways, since its
"not her fault now" that she fucked you, because, she *did* tell you about the
boyfriend, and you ignored it, i.e. she "had no choice in the matter."
6) She DOESN'T have a BF, she IS attracted to you, and she doesn't want to look like a
loser who can't get a man. (Most HBs have many "orbiters" anyway.nice guys who
hang out with her and want to sleep with her. Maybe sometimes they take her on dates or go
shopping with her. Since the word "boyfriend" can have so many different
meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbiters as a "place keeper" when she
makes this statement.)
7) Sometimes she brings up her boyfriend and it is clear that she is only trying to
convince herself.
8) She may or may not be attracted to you, and she had no reason at all for blurting
out that she had a BF. Sometimes women get a little nervous or uncomfortable, and just
blurt some bullshit out of their mouth for reasons they can't even fathom. ALWAYS watch
their responses before putting stock in their words!
~lovedrop, 2002/01/22, mASF
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I get a woman's phone number?"
A: Don't ask her for it. Yes, this doesn't sound right, does it? But the best
way to get a number (a REAL number) is to not ask but rather structure an opportunity for
her to get with you, after you've already done the work of fascinating, attracting, and
seducing her. Once she is excited about you, she will fall over herself to give you her
number once you've structured an opportunity for her. You can do that with some NLP negation (you: "Hm, I've got to go. It's been nice talking with you. It's too bad we
won't be able to have an interesting conversation like this again..." her: "Of
course we can, here's my number!") or you can do it by asking her a to provide a
suggestion as to how you could hook up again (you: "It's been nice talking with you.
Can you think of a way we can get together and do this another time?" her:
"Sure, here's my number!").
Further: Often when structuring the opportunity she will say "Well, How about you
give me your phone number". The proper response to this is either to say "All
right, lets go ahead and EXCHANGE numbers" and pull out your pen. Or else agree,
write down your phone number, and then hand her a pen and paper ... she will reciprocate.
It is understood. Either way, you absolutely want her number. If she will not give it
over, you have done something wrong. Don't trust her to call you, it wont happen.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
Also, here is something to think about: Don't bother getting a woman's number if you
can fuck her in the next hour. Get the number after. Or, if you can't fuck her but can
immediately set up a coffee meeting nearby, go for that. Remember, the purpose of getting
a number is to get with her. If you know for sure you can get with her in the next hour,
why bother with the number?
Further: the above is a good rule to live by, but remember that getting a number is an
intermediate close. When you have the number, it is locked into her mind that it is an
ongoing relationship, you can still get her home or go for the coffee after getting the
number if you structure it properly (like you would with a male friend, i.e. you need his
number because you have to call him for something.) It is never too early to get a number.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What do I do or say if when I ask a women for her
number, she says 'Why don't you give me YOUR number?' in a way that she is giving me a
hard time to get her number or outright refusing to give it?"
A: See previous question fo a possible answer. This is almost as bad as getting
the "I have a boyfriend." response. Same as that situation, it means you have
not done enough work to attract her or you have supplicated to her (asked her for
something - her number, a date, whatever) and did not structure an opportunity for HER to
get with YOU rather that YOU trying too hook up with HER.
If you think you've built up some good rapport but if she insists on getting your
number rather than you getting hers, reframe it for her and say "I don't give my
number out because I find that some women just collect the numbers as some sort of game -
comparing their pile their girl friends'. I don't play those games." If necessary,
add that you keep a hactic schedule and if she's the one doing the calling then she'll
probably establish a lasting relationship with your answering machine. However, if you get
her number, you'll be able to call her when you have the time to talk.
If she still resists, offer to trade numbers OR get her e-mail address (or trade)
instead (these days, it's almost as good - sometimes better depending on the chick).
You may find that none of the above works to your liking. If you still have time (still
have her attention) at this point, don't give up (especially if you seem to be setting up
some good rapport). Rather, regroup, refocus, and reframe the situation in your mind.
Don't make what she said a big deal and simply keep building up your personality. Don't
TELL her you're a super/great/awesome guy. SHOW her by your actions, your mannerisms, your
confidence. Give her the subtle impression that other men don't have what you have. They
can't offer what you offer. Then, instead of supplicating to her again (asking for number,
blah blah), structure an opportunity for her to give you hers. If she doesn't take the
bait, move on.
Suggestion from Maniac High:
Maniac: Naw, I can't do that because you see, I know you won't call me.. ;-) you will take
the #, then show it to your friends and giggle together while passing around all the
numbers you collected to each other ;-). Wont you? ;-) See, I know what ladies are like!
;-) So that is why I dont give #s to ladies who won't give me theirs. So if we both want
the chance to meet again again, you can give me yours, or if that is not OK, we can
exchange #s with each other.. [said in a firm, but humourous tone with a smile]
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I know the phone number she gave me is
legit?"
A: Uhhh... call it? Seriously, though, here are some useful tips:
If she gives you her number verbally for you to write, wait a few seconds after you've
written it down and then ask her to repeat it to make sure you've "written it down
right". If the numbers don't match, she's spewing a garbage number at you. Call her
on her BS. Best case, she is impressed by your backbone, apologizes, and gives you her
real number. Worst case, you show a woman that you have a spine and don't let women walk
all over you.
If she writes the number down herself, wait til she hands you the number then pretend
you can't read it and ask her to repeat the number to you verbally. If the numbers don't
match, she's spewing a garbage number at you. Use the same advice as above.
Rather than calling her on her BS right away, make it seem like you're onto her game
without getting pissed and simply play along with it and keep building rapport. Turn it
around so that she starts actually wanting to give you her real number and then, before
you go, give her the indication that you will call her to hook up later. Then laugh
and say "Unless, of course, the number you gave me was BS...". Pause. Giver her
a chance to humiliate herself by admitting the previous number was false and handing you
her real number. Worst case? You're no better off than before and she gives you another
bogus number. Best case? You've given her a second chance (how great of you... what a man)
to get with you and you can reassure her that you're not a typical guy and you understand
why she might feel the need to give out bogus numbers.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "After getting a woman's phone number, when should I
call, what should I say, how do I set up a date?"
A: Before dealing with phone numbers, here is something to think about: Don't
bother getting a woman's number if you can fuck her in the next hour. Get the number
after. Or, if you can't fuck her but can immediately set up a coffee meeting nearby, go
for that. Remember, the purpose of getting a number is to get with her. If you know for
sure you can get with her in the next hour, why bother with the number?
OK, now that specific knowledge is out of the way, when do you first call and how to
set up a date? Don't call too damn soon (same day). That's just sad and desperate.
Deciding when to call after that day should be based on how much you think she's already
interested and how attracted to you she was when you left her. if she seemed VERY
interested, it is probably OK to call the next day (at least 24-36 hours after fist
meeting) and your SOLE goal is to set up a time & place. A first meeting should NOT be
a "date" but rather meeting her for coffee or drinks somewhere. There is no need
to fluff over the phone. If she seemed interested but was not already hot for you, a
couple days is good. You may need to re-build her interest when she talks to you on the
phone. You have to be congruent with what you were like when she first met you. That means
if you were an amazing flirt when you first met, you should be a bit flirtatious over the
phone. But just enough to leave her wanting more and then set up a time/place to meet.
Finally, get off the phone before she does. Just say "OK, great, I have to go now -
I'll see you later. Bye. <click>"
If when trying to set up a meeting, she seems to begin to initiate the
"flakeout" routine ("Oh, can I call you back - what's your #? I'm not sure
when I'm available... blah blah blah") just tell her that you called to set up a
meeting and if you can't get her to agree to anything NOW then maybe it's not worth
getting together AT ALL. Set up your rules for her. Make sure she knows you don't take BS from anyone. Doesn't matter what her excuse is, don't believe it. Women will say, and have
said everything under the sun as an excuse to flake out. "I'm flossing my cat.",
"My roommate needs help building a bomb.", "My landlord is coloring my hair
to match the drapes..." whatever... just realize that whatever they say other
than "OK, let's meet at X at X time" is a flakeout and it's your job to not take
her BS, give her your rules, and then let her decide what she wants to do. If she wants to
LOSE the opportunity to spend time with you, that's HER choice. However, if she's smart
she will commit to something before you hang up.
Further: There is two schools of thought on this one. First up, the probability of the
# not blurring is much higher if you give her some rules when you hand over your number in
the exchange, and rule # 1 is that when you call or if she calls you you will say just as
she has to say "Hi, <PUA name>, I am so glad you called, I was just thinking
about you." This works well because it sets the frame for the rest of the
conversation, and if she lives up to the rule, then you know you can be short and sweet as
above.
She doesn’t follow the rule, and you have a possible blur on your hands. Treat
these as if they are fresh approaches. It is going to take a good 15 minutes to get it
back. Fluff, pattern, entertain. Anchour it on your voice. Move it towards phone sex. See
David Shade's post: "Re: Seducing Girls/Women on AOL (was Need Help/Advice and
Fast!!!)" available at http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=482977842
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What's a good message to leave on my answering
machine?"
A: "Hi, I'm not here to pick up the phone so leave your name and number so
I can get back to you later."
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What do I do If I get her answering machine?"
A: Hang up. Unless you have a STRONG reason to believe that she will definitely
return your call in the next half hour, or unless you have something EXTRAORDINARY to tell
her, don't leave any messages. And, if nobody has ever told you before, call-blocking is
your friend. You must make the assumption that every woman you will ever call has Caller
ID and screens her calls. Most areas in the US, dialing *67 before making a call enables
call blocking on your phone number (it won't show up on a Caller ID device). Some phone
companies let you place a permanent block on your phone number.
Further: The telcos are now offering a service where if you *67 it, the call goes
straight to voice mail. Also, if you can not get onto her, and the # is starting to go
stale (about a week old), then it is time to leave a message, and the right sort of
message to leave (with tonality working for you) is: "Hi this is <PUA name>
from <place where you met> last <Monday>, my number is <phone number>.
It is a pity I missed you. I was speaking to someone about you the other day and they said
that you .." <click, you hang-up mid sentence>. If that doesn’t get a
return phone call, nothing would have. (on the return phone call say the person said that
she had beautiful eyes, say you agree and transition into an eyes pattern). If she doesn't
call you can go back to your *67 trying to get her.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What do I do if she gives me a beeper number instead
of her phone number or e-mail address?"
A: Drop her.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Where should I meet or take her when setting up a
second meeting (after a number close)?"
A: If she already seems hot and horny for you, then by all means invite her to
your place (for whatever...do whatever you like to do like watch a movie, cook dinner,
show her your pictures from your last trip to TimBucktu). Otherwise, you'll want to set up
a more casual, non-intimidating meeting place where she will feel comfortable and safe.
That means a public place, but also one that is condusive to to your seduction. Also, try
to avoid the weekends and go for something more in the line of meeting at a cafe on the
weekdays (afternoon or early evening). This will minimize the impact of "date"
expectations and you will both be more at ease. Doing this also saves you from big
expenses, especially if you do a lot of PUs. Generally, you want to think of this event as
a second opportunity to screen her and to let her get a better appreciation of you. If it
doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything. Otherwise, you can confidently move onto the
next step which is to set up a more significant meeting or take her home right away if you
manage to really do a good job seducing her.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Who pays? Should I pay? When should I pay? When
should I not pay?"
A: The default rule (for PUAs) is to not pay for anything except yourself.
"No play, no pay." However, this rule can (and should) be superseded by whatever
the circumstance entails but not to the extent that you are going out of your way to
impress or supplicate to her.
### For newbie AFCs ###
Not paying for chicks is SECONDARY. The main thing is to seduce them with your mental
game and this "rule" about paying is just to prevent you from doing what
that that guy from the article "How not to PU" on Maniac's site did (see http://www.pickupguide.com/badpu1.htm).
You DON'T pay for trips to Paris and you DON'T buy them clothes and jewelry! As for
coffee, it's too insignificant an expense to risk putting her in a bad state from which
AFC newbies can't pull her from.
Our "rules" are in the function of seducing woman fast. They're not designed
for saving you money, nor for showing the bitches who's the king.
When you tell a chick "I expect you to pay that.", she'll start thinking. What's
she going to think? That it's a good thing you're making her pay for her own? Not likely.
That it doesn't matter? Possible. That it's a BAD thing? Most probably she will experience
a moment of discomfort and insecurity.
Not that the chick is a gold digger, it's simply a bad state breaker. She's going to think
about (even for 5 seconds) why you won't pay for her coffee...
"Is he telling me he doesn't like me?"
"Is he too poor to afford coffee?"
"Is he a cheap skate?"
Now, I can pull her out of that state. So can NYC, Maniac, and other PUAs, they can BOUNCE the chick around like a basketball and still get pussy. How about some newbie? What is he
going to think when he says that after the "date" rapport went to hell and the
chick complained she was tired or whatever? What went wrong? So, the primary advice to
newbies is: not paying for chicks is secondary to seducing them. Once you get good at
attracting and seducing them, the understanding about "who should pay" rules
comes naturally.
~thx, 2001/01/20 (paraphrased)
Still don't get it? Want this point explained in-depth, along with the basic reasoning
behind the importance of such a topic? Then read the following archived post from
toecutter:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=98021840287277
### For AFCs/RAFCs miscellaneous situations ###
Co-workers having coffee: It is the expected that each person pay for their own drink.
Co-workers having drinks: It is the expected that each person pay for their own drink. Or
to take turns buying drinks.
New HB + you having coffee: Play it by ear, but expect to pay. No big deal. Coffe & a
snack is usually only a few dollars.
New HB + you having drinks: Play it by ear, but expect to pay the first round. Let her pay
the second, thjen play it by ear from there.
First date: PUAs don't "date" girls they aren't already fucking.
One way to diffuse a situation where you are paying for a first coffee meeting,
especially if the subject comes up, just be playful and say "I'll get it this time,
you can get it next time."
### For PUAs in miscellaneous situations ###
Well, PUAs already know the score on this...
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I get a woman (or women) to come back to my
place the same day I meet her/them?"
A: Give her an excuse to go to your place. You want to show her the photos
<of what ever you were talking about> / play her some music / have a drink (alcohol
especially after closing time) / forgot your coat / haven’t eaten, and you only have
a stomach for <certain food that you have in your fridge> / play with your leggo
set, whatever.
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I get a woman (or women) to come back to my
place after we've gotten together one or more times?"
A: See the answer to the previous related question. Invite to see a video, cook
her dinner, etc. (cooking her dinner under these circumstances is not AFC, it is
organizing a meeting on your turf ... get candles burning [that burn at different speeds
so the room gets darker as the night goes on]. You choose the music, the food [texture
baby all the way], etc.)
~toecutter, 2001/01/17
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I treat or deal with a woman who doesn't call
back or cancels dates?"
A: It's probably too late. You didn't provide her with your rules up front. You
probably also did not do enough to attract her.
There are some things you can do to set you up to rebound the situation. Toecutter has
posted some good info about this, available at:
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97145728771417
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97147891971454
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=97158687871632
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I avoid a woman telling me 'Let's just be
friends.'?"
A: Don't ever supplicate to her. Don't put her on a pedestal. Don't become her
doormat. Don't try to be her girlfriend. Don't become her girlfirend. Don't act asexual.
Always understand that when first meeting a woman, you must make sure the impression you
give is not one of "nice guy doormat" but rather "strong, dominent,
confident, secure man". Then make sure to make your SOI known (either directly or
through sub-text) and be sure to excite her imagination about you. Then turn the table
around on her and make sure she gets the impression that you are screening her to be with
you rather than the other way around.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I turn a 'friend' into a 'lover', how can I
get out of LJBF ('Let's Just Be Friends') land, or I've just been LJBF'd - what do I
do?"
A: Once in LJBF land with a particular woman, it's almost impossible to get out.
Rather, you should consider using the LJBF to your advantage. Hang out with this woman and
have her around when you're out clubbing, bar-hopping, at a restaurant, wherever.
Completely accept the fact that you'll never sleep with this woman and simply use her as
"social proof" when attracting other women. Other women will see you as more
attractive and desirable if they see you with another woman. The better looking your LJBF girl, the better for you. In fact, you may even want to introduce the idea of
"winging" with this LJBF woman directly to her: she can help you attract other
women while you help her attract other men. If, however, you're still adamant about
seducing an LJBF woman, read the next Q&A.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What does 'elicit values' mean? How does one elicit
values?"
A: Some guys call this screening but it's also used to get things from her like
mirror and trance words. While in conversation with a women, you need to ask her questions
which lead to her end values and specific trance words. That will help you lead the
conversation by mirroring back those values and words to her and will also help you
determine if she even qualifies to spend time with you. For example, you don't simply want
to ask "What do you like to do for fun?" and then leave her answer at that. You
want to take her anser and dig deeper.
Don't know how that works? Watch Jay Leno or David Letterman when they're interviewing
someone. You want to keep asking more and more deeper questions until you finally get to
her value structure and the specific words that her mind hinges on. Furthering the
example, she says "I like to go fishing with my family." and then you ask
"What specifically you find the most enjoyable about that?" She might say
"Every time my family does it, we have a great time, and laugh a lot." You ask
"So you like to laugh with your family?" She says "Yeah, it's a great way
to escape and laugh and let go." You say "Yeah, it is great to laugh with your
family - my family is like that. Are you able to escape and let go in other ways in your
life?" She says "Yeah, I like to go to the wharf for lunch and watch the birds,
it's a great way to escape in the middle of the day."
So now after that brief convo, you've established that she likes her familiy, she likes
to laugh and have fun, her familiy is fun, she likes the water, and enjoys escaping her
days by doing something relaxing. You've also got some trance words and phrases:
"great (time)" "escape" "let go". If you take those values
of hers and feed them back within your own stories and also emphasise her trance words,
you will gain faster and stronger rapport with her and will more easily be able to capture
and lead her imagination, lead her state.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is the 'bitch shield'? How do I bypass
it?"
A: The bitch shield is a natural reaction the really hot chicks (specifically
9s, especially 10s, and usually strippers/dancers) build up. It's perfectly understandable
for her to brush off the guys who approach. If she's in a crowded club or bar, she has
dozens of guys a night coming up and kissing her ass, buying her drinks, telling her she's
beautiful. She knows she's beautiful. She's been told that so many times it's as true as
saying "the sky is blue". She can't sleep with, or even have time to get to know
all the guys that come onto her -- there aren't enough hours in the day, even if she was
madly attracted to every single one of them. So she's become good at brushing guys off.
She assumes (rightly so) that every guy that talks to her would give his right arm to fuck
her. She's probably dying to be swept off her feet, but there's no challenge. It's like
playing Quake on God mode. Its fun at first, but quickly gets boring.
The way to bypass this is a neg hit. A neg is a neutral comment. Its not an
insult, merely a way of demonstrating that you aren't impressed (or intimidated) by her
beauty. Some examples: "That's so cute, your nose wiggles when you talk",
"I love your hair, is it dyed?", "Your nails look great. Are they
real?" For the last two, if the hair/nails are dyed/fake, follow up with "oh...
well, they look nice."
You aren't kissing her ass, in fact you might have noticed something wrong with her
perfect form. You might not even want to fuck her! This confuses the hell out of her, and
gets her interested in you. What's up with this guy? Why isn't he telling me I look like
an angel and buying me drinks like all the other guys (AFCs) do? For a 10, Mystery
recommends 3 negs to bring the shield all the way down. Once its down, you can talk to her
like a human being, rather than a peasant worshipping his goddess.
Note: These are NOT to be used on chicks without a bitch shield. Doing so will destroy
her self esteem.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Special note on 10s and how they view their world when it comes to meeting men: coming
soon.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is supplication?"
A: Supplication is offering to do something for an HB, while expecting something
from her, such as more time to spend with her, sex, or any other favor. If you do
something for an HB, expecting anything in return, or in the hopes of showing her that you
are a nice guy that will do things for her, hoping that she will spend more time with you,
you are supplicating. Supplication is also considered to include gifts, dinners, drinks,
flowers, or any other token meant to buy your way into her good graces. If you wouldn't do
it for no reason for a male friend, then it is probably supplication.
~Jack 2000/11/17
Suggestion from Maniac High:
Supplication is offering to do something for a chick that you would NOT do for a guy
friend, or an UG (buying jewelery, doing 'extra' favors, doing her homework for her, etc).
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is NLP?"
A: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Its a branch of psychology that involves the
use of everyday language to induce emotional states into the person you are talking to. It
uses ambiguities, descriptive words, and subtle mispronunciations to create different
emotional states. It forms the basis for Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction coursework and seminars (see
below) and is a powerful seduction tool.
Some people will initially balk at using NLP to seduce, but after you learn a bit about
it you learn to recognize it in other situations. It's used to get candidates into office,
convert people's religion, sell products, and start wars. Using it to get a little ass
seems almost benign, doesn't it?
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is an 'alpha male'?"
A: Among most primate tribes, there are two types of males. Most of the pack are
beta males. They have no real power, and mate infrequently. The most dominate male is the
alpha. He mates with all the females, whenever he wants. He is the leader of the pack. The
other apes flock to him, even the beta males.
Humans share some of the same behavior. I'm sure you knew a guy like this in high
school. Coolest guy around. Did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. More girls than he
could handle. Relaxed, comfortable, confident, in control. That is the alpha male, and its
who you need to be to be a PUA.
- Never apologize for your desires
- Never worry about consequences
- Show no fear of talking to people you don't know
- Know that you are the prize
- Say and do what others wish they had the balls to say and do
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
Note: The term "alpha male" has been used most predominantly in the sciences
when referring to wolf packs.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is a 'takeaway'?"
Set it up by giving her something she wants, something that makes her feel good,
fascinated...ect... (not money or gifts!) When you sense her anticipation then you take it
away.
example: You just read her a poem. She asks for more. You say, oh sorry we'll have to
do it tommorrow I have to get to class now.
It's simaliar to what a dick tease would do.
~whoisthis19 (greg), 2001/1/10
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "What is seduction?"
A: The classical definition of seduction is a means of communication (verbal or
physical) which leads a woman to have strong desires to have sex with the man who is
seducing her. The ASf definition of seduction is any reasonable method which provides a
man with the ability to consistently get women that he wants to want to have sex with him.
The trick to being a good seductionist is not being able to use a specific general
technique or method and do it perfectly but rather to find what works best fot you and
practice, practice, practice. Go out into the field and try new things. Find out what
works for you. Use the techiques guys post about as a basis to try new things, not as
something you repeat like a robot.
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "Where and how do I start using all this new
knowledge?"
A: Everywhere! Try not to let any opportunity slip by. Remember anytime you go
anywhere and do anything you could have an opportunity to meet an HB. For sarging, try the
local malls, book stores, coffee shops, bars, clubs, or anywhere else you can find a
gathering of people.
How? - here's Mystery's formula: Find, Meet, Attract, Close. Start wherever you are
lacking. If you have no problem starting a conversation, work on Attract, study eliciting
values, storytelling, mirroring, etc. If talking to strangers (esp. women) makes you
nervous, work on Meet. Go out to the local mall, say hi and smile to women until this
doesn't bother you any more. Just start - experience will give you your baseline and let
you know where you need work.
~maddman75, 2000/11/25
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How do I ask her if she has a STD (Sexually
Transmitted Disease)?"
A: If it's a concern to you, bring it up before having sex with her. Some women
simply aren't honest about it (due to fear, embarrassment, or something else) and you
should always wear a condom (duh). Here is a web site about STDs:
http://www.unspeakable.com/std-index.html
>back to top of Commonly Asked
Questions
Q: "How can I date more than 1 woman at a time?"
A: If you are thinking ONS types or multiple FBs, it doesn't take much other
than your time and how much of it you're willing to give up. If you're asking how to
maintain multiple LTRs (MLTR) without pissing any of those women off, the best answer is
straightforard honesty. All the women in your MLTR should be accepting of the fact that
you spend your time (and emotions) with other women while you are also seeing them. But
you also have to be OK with the women in you MLRT being just as free with their
relationships. If you are an MLTR man, or want to be, you have to expect your women will
want the same freedom. You should also expect that "cheating" in those
circumstances is a nonexistent issue because there was honesty up front. If you want to
include a woman in your MLTR but she doesn't like the idea and wants a monogamous
relationship with you then you really can't give her what she wants and probably should
not establish a relationship unless you're willing to lie to her and "cheat" in
the relationship. And that's not a very good relationship, is it?
You may want to also check out the follwoing site:
